Friday, October 1, 2010

Marriage works best when it just doesn't feel like work.

Due to a number of peculiar circumstances, I missed my rotation last week. It was a shame because I had a guest blogger ready to address the week's topic of sharing one thing that helped each of us maintain our marriage. I couldn't think of anyone better to address the topic than my lovely wife. So after a little pleading, the post is a week late...but still most relevant.

So without any further delays, the love of my life - Candice...

Let me start by saying I'm not a blogger because I'm not a writer. I greatly enjoy reading the post of others (especially one named Tony C) and often laugh, ponder and sometimes cry at the stories I read here. Being able to share with others in clarity and depth of emotion using the written word is a true gift, and I applaud those of you who do it so well in service to God.

I read the post of the other Kingdom Bloggers on the subject I'm addressing and enjoyed each very much. However, I want to go a slightly different path. My husband is wonderful at doing the little things in our marriage to keep things fresh and alive. Sometimes he has very long work days but always comes home and meets me and the girls with a kiss or a hug and projects a genuine attitude of appreciation. He constantly keeps us laughing and refuses to let any of us stay in a bad mood (he'll pester until you relent and get over whatever it is you're in a bad mood about).

But the underlying glue that strengthens our marriage, and ultimately our family, is trust. Now that's a very broad term and naturally universal in any relationship, but I'm talking about the specific part of the bigger word that provides the sense of security and acceptance. The part of trust that helps you conclude no matter what, I'm in this for the long haul.

Tony and I most definitely have that and have already seen it put to the test in our six and a half year marriage. Although I hate the fact we have had to endure situations that have tested that part of trust, I know in my heart our marriage is stronger than ever and can weather any future storm life throws our way.

It all starts in the fact we both trust God and the direction He has for our life as individuals. It builds to a feeling of security that my partner in life loves and accepts me for who I am and who God wants me to be. That's a little more difficult to practice than say. Human nature (most men would say it's a woman thing, and be wrong not to include themselves) drives us to be in control of everything around us, including our spouse. I love my husband for who he is, and honestly, sometimes that's a challenge for me because he doesn't always say or do the things I want. But I understand that is a two-way street, and he loves me despite the things I say or do he doesn't particularly agree.

I close with this example of trust in our relationship. Tony is constantly challenging me to think about and explore the reasons I believe the things I believe. He doesn't try to convert or convince me to just think the way he does on any given subject matter. Most importantly, he always accepts the outcome and loves me for who I am now and continue to grow to be. I know he always will in my heart, and I hope he can trust that in turn, I will always love him no matter what.

Thank you Father for giving me this man and this marriage. May we always serve You.


David said...

Thanks, Candice.

Geeze, Tony pestering - who wold have thought.

Michelle said...

Great post, Mrs Tony C! You should write more often.

Having trust in marriage is amazing and I honestly can't imagine it any other way. We have always had trust...but I believe we've always had trust because God has always been there.