Earlier this week, I started a draft of my blog.
Distraction, I asked? I can certainly identify. I laughed and said “ Distraction? Let me count the ways” I try to laugh about this, but I think sometimes it is an attempt to cover the pain I have experienced with this issue.
I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult, and that revelation answered many questions, I had. My struggles with school work and in later years had an explanation. I could distinctly remember feeling like I “should” be able to do a test or activity and yet so many times, I fell short. Why?
The big difference between my first draft and what I am writing now is that the Lord has given me a better perspective.
Instead of saying ADD stands for Attention Deficit Disorder, I am going to say it stands for A Different Dilemma. Getting victory seemed insurmountable. But by changing a word from disorder to dilemma, opens up the possibility to change.
The scripture” I can do ALL things through Christ, who strengthens me”, does not say all things, except ADD.
Having this distractive nature has been kind of a thorn in my flesh. But as Paul did, I have asked it to be removed many times. Instead the Lord has offered me grace. Not only grace has He given me, but grace that is sufficient.
My quiet times are probably not similar to many others. I cannot do the same ole’, same ole’, day after day, after day. I need to have variety. I can think of a lot of ways to worship the Lord. As a few of you have noted, worship need not be relegated to a particular time slot. It is a matter of a worshipful lifestyle.
I have an ongoing, day long conversation with the Lord. Sometimes, the listening part on my end can go awry. I have to say WHOA…” Earth to Linda” and go on to refocus what is before me.
I have been reminded, in the past few days, just how much music nourishes my soul. Whether it is contemporary music or old hymns, it quiets my soul and turns my eyes to beholding the Lord. This is part of the remedy to learn and to focus and to quiet myself down.
What I am asking of the Lord, is to be made more cognizant of when I go off with my 300 thoughts and new ideas. I want to learn to say STOP!!! And even sometimes to say NO!!! To things that are brought before me.
I also know that face book, the internet, emails and my computer are not always my friend. My time in technology land takes chunks out of time, which can be well spent, doing some productive things. I think I need to whittle down my time even further, than I have recently.
The Lord, once again came through for me. He readjusted my thoughts and my attitude and bolstered me with hope.
He opened up the scriptures, so that I could have a positive take on this entire subject, instead of belying the fact, that I have this condition.
He reminded me of making lists, which has always helped me. (One thing I should note though. When I am giving myself a time estimation of how long a project will take, I NOW multiply it by three times)., I have discovered that adjustment from all the times of underestimating.
He reignited my desire to take a siesta or two, during the day to relax with Him and just enjoy His company with music.
I even thought, I could call up my friend Chris. She “suffers” from the same distractive nature. We do not have to explain that to one another…we just know…we just understand. What usually happens is, we laugh our heads off, at the quirkiness of it all. Not everyone understands the “code” we speak in, but I thank God that He has embedded a few people in my life, who struggle as I do.
I also have become cognizant again, that when I behold Jesus face to face, the encounter will render me undone. Looking away will be impossible, as He alone will keep my attention steady.
I long for the day, that I will totally loose myself, into the pool of His eyes, which only speak of love and acceptance.
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