I know I sure do.
I also know that I love God. I'm grateful beyond anything words can ever express that He gave me the faith to believe in Him, that I have a relationship with the creator of the universe, that He cares for me, and that He has good plans for my life.
The late Michael Spencer who wrote at the Internet Monk site, once said something about doubt that I appreciate and that's really stuck with me:
"I deeply disagree with those who say we should not speak of faith until we have answers. It shouldn’t take a lot of consideration to understand the answer may be “there’s no answer for this question.” If I have to go beyond that, I’m going at the expense of my integrity. Nothing good comes of that.”
For me, if my faith isn't genuine, then it's worthless. For me to have genuine faith I must be honest. If I'm honest I have to admit that there are some things in the Bible that don't make sense to me, or that I don't really like, that all the explanations for why bad things happen to good people still leave me feeling sad and disconsolate; and this is not even mentioning the fact that, like Joyce wrote about on Tuesday, sometimes I have trouble believing God because of my own fear.
Recently I attended a Catholic Mass for the first time. I was moved by the beauty and symbolism throughout the service and captivated by the references to the mystery of our faith. I like that phrase because I really believe that there are many things concerning God that are just too much for me to understand. I'm reminded of the Bible passage found in Isaiah 55:8-9 (KJV):
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
When it's all said and done, I don't think a God who I could totally understand would be very valuable. I'm grateful that God's ways are higher and better than mine, that He's got the big picture and is working things for the best outcome.
I'm also grateful that, when I want to follow after God and find myself doubting, that I can always reach out to Him in honesty and ask Him, just like the father did in Mark 9:20-25,to help me overcome my unbelief.