Pieces & Phrases

When I think of David the following pieces of thoughts and phrases come to my mind:

• All consuming passion
• Fire in the belly
• Sarcastic and funny
• Prophetic words

These are the things most David to me.

The passion that burns strong in David, that drives him to seek God and His work above all else, calls out to the spark in my own soul, and stirs it up. Watching David continue through the hard times, through rejection, and times when life didn't make sense, has provided me with a picture of what the Spirit's fire in a person produces. Getting to enjoy a laugh or two, and a different perspective, all curtsey of David; well, it just makes life more fun. David's helped me learn what an asset a real prophet can be to Kingdom Living, and caused me to question those religious ideas I've lived most of my life around.

I'm grateful that I met David in the blogoshere, and that I've had the honor of getting to write alongside him here at Kingdom Bloggers. I'm excited about all the doors God is opening for David and I look forward to hearing more about all God's blessing to, and through, David.

A little more cheese please

Anyone besides me enjoy really cheesy 80s movies?

This week the faithful are posting over at Fire and Grace. So you'll have to pop over there if you want to read about one of my favorite 80s flicks.

Maybe John Lennon actually got something right

I grew up with my older sister listening to the Beatles. Typically I enjoyed listening to them too. Lots of the time I disagreed with them, but I've got to admit that John Lennon actually got close to the truth in his song All you need is love. It's just a matter of whose love.

I've mentioned before the time when my sons' father left me. God taught me a lot during that season of my life. My work had, unknowing anything about my personal life, come to me and asked me to move to a town about an hour and a half from where we had been living. The new position they offered me would pay close to $20K more a year. We moved.

So I was in a new town, with a new job, kind of in a new life. I didn't know anyone there, and sometimes the boys would go visit their dad so I'd have time alone. I took a lot of long walks by myself on the beach during those times; and I thought. Thought about what was important to me, what life was all about.

During that season of my life the Holy Spirit brought the scripture passage from Matthew 22:34-40 back to my mind:

³⁴ Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵ One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

It was one of those "aha!" moments. I realized that this was what life was all about - loving. Loving God, and loving the people who He brought into my life. It's like the Holy Spirit burned a passion to love Him and others into my heart; and that fire has never totally dissipated since. There have been times that the flame has flickered down low, but it has always remained. This desire to love God and love the people in my life has been the grid that I run potential actions through on a regular basis.

What about you, has God given you any Bible verse or passage that has become a grid for you?

Captivated by Words

I've always adored reading. Words captivate my imagination and thoughts. Words delight me.

Frequently through the years I've journal-ed. Writing helps me process my thoughts, feelings, and reactions; helps me put things into perspective and set goals. So the cross over from journal to blog came naturally. Typing on a key pad is way easier for me than using a pen.

My blog is basically just my on line journal. Hopefully some people read it and can relate to what I'm writing about. Perhaps that helps them to not feel alone, or maybe they can be encouraged or inspired, or just find a kindred spirit (or even someone with whom to vent out some complaints).

I've enjoyed the insights and thoughts of others that I've received via comments. I'm grateful for the friends I've made. Sometimes in my daily life I find myself thinking about things people have said to me in the comments. I enjoy getting to read what others say on their blogs.

Proverbs 27:17 is one of my favorite Proverbs, and it reminds me of something that often takes place for me in the blogging world:

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

I've found that process of thinking and corresponding about a topic with others really does sharpen me.

Powerful Thoughts

Do you believe that the God who is in control of the universe is also in control of what happens in our lives?

I do.

He blesses us, and He allows the bad stuff to happen. He uses it all to build us into who He wants us to be. Through it all, it does seem as if there are specific moments and times in life that have a huge impact on who we've become. When I think about it, there are 5 of these "defining moments" that come to mind.

One defining moment for me came when I was in 7th grade. It was when I learned that reading the Bible for myself was a source of strength and encouragement. That year a modern translation called The Living Bible came out. Prior to that my Bible experience had either been in fun Bible stories and activities from children's church, or hearing or trying to read a King James version of the Bible that made no sense to me. But that year as I experienced the beginning of that extra emotional, angst ridden, adolescent intensity, I discovered that I could totally relate to the writer of the Psalms. So I began pouring over the Psalms. That practice of spending time in the Word became a habit for me. That habit has brought countless good things into my life.

Another defining moment for me was when I was 16 and a Campus Crusade for Christ staff person took an interest in me and invested in me and taught me how to share with people what God had done for me, and how to study and teach the Bible. Those foundational tools have stayed with me throughout my life. Those foundational skills have been blessed repeatedly through the years and God has used them to allow me to minister in various ways during various seasons of my life. From working both one on one and in small groups with high school girls, to developing and facilitating Christ centered recovery groups, to teaching 4th & 5th grade Sunday school, and now coordinating women's ministries curriculum and Bible studies. In all of these experiences I've felt overwhelmed at the goodness of God that He would use me.

Then when I was 40 and my then-husband left me and I realized that life was not going to turn out as I'd planned it, God surprised me with a new time of defining. As I've described before on this blog, this was a time in my life when God taught me gratitude and how to live in thanksgiving and joy. My life has never been the same since!

Just after this God blessed me with a man, who wasn't even a Christian (yet, I'm still praying for him) who chose to invest into me and my career. He made me his assistant and he worked me over and above what was reasonable. But he taught me how to lead, how to produce and perform, how to take care of my staff, and how to come up with new ways to make money. This experience lighted a fire inside me, a passion, that still burns.

When I turned 49 I was terminated from a career job that I'd worked for years to develop and hone the skills to be able to perform. I felt bereft and confused. Yet God used this time to deepen the resolve within to praise Him and live for Him no matter what He allowed in my life; in the good and in the bad.

Looking back on these moments in my life causes me to look forward to the future and whatever else God has in store for me.

What does thinking about your defining moments do for you?

What comes to your mind when you think about church?

I'm really grateful for my church.

NOT because it's perfect. Groucho Marx once said he never wanted to belong to a club that would accept him as a member. There's some of that to the church thing too; if it were close to perfect before I walked in, it would stop being so once I arrived. Repeatedly in the Word I see a call to bear with one another. I'm grateful that I'm part of a local church where people bear with me.

If you were with me as I got to church on a Sunday morning you'd see someone come up and give me a hug (and you too) as we were walking up the steps to walk into church. We'd talk with this person a bit; about what's going on in their life, your life, and my life. We might pray together or we might move on into the sanctuary. We'd most likely encounter another hug-share session before we got to where we chose to sit down. Once there, I'd look around to see if there was anyone I didn't know (we live in a mountain resort town with a posted population of 3,500 so our church is most likely only 150 people divided up between 2 services - so it's easy to spot someone that you don't know). If I saw someone, I'd go over and say hello and chat a bit.

I've lived here 5 years, and have basically always been in this church, and up until the past few months I would have told you that the service began with someone leading music/praise/worship and that it always felt like he was just worshiping God and we got to join in. That the time was sweet and I always sensed God's presence. The music style was always extremely varied; it could be rock, hymns, or choruses, but it always felt like it was about God. Recently they made some changes and I've been praying a lot about it. I've lived in large areas for most of my life and have participated in Mega churches and the just-started-worship team feels a lot more like those kinds of experiences; almost as if they're trying to cheer lead you into worshiping the King instead of just letting you join them if you chose - don't know if I can explain it. It's not about the style of music 'cuz that's always all good for me, it's something else that I can't put my finger on but that I'm praying about. Please also understand that it's not like I'm not able to sing those songs and close my eyes and talk to Jesus, or dance with joy, or be silent and whisper words of love to Him during these times. Also, I can tell that the people who are leading really love God; it just feels really "church-y" instead of simple love pouring out, and God moving. I don't speak about it to anyone but my husband John since I don't want to be someone negative in the church; I'm waiting on God. Maybe this is just about me, I don't know.

The time in the Word is consistently good. My kids make fun of me because so frequently they've heard me declare to John as we drive home - wasn't that sermon extra wonderful today, I just got so much out of it, God really spoke to my heart through His Word! Whenever I say something like that they roll their eyes and declare that I always say that! But God's Word is just so good and my heart is so needy and thirsty for Him.

I'm grateful that when I meet people locally and reach out to them, our local church gatherings are places I can comfortably invite people to. Depending on situations and how I feel God leading, I may, or may not, invite people , but at least I feel like I can because I know they will have a good experience if they come.

Our local church doesn't end there for me. It's about the email's for urgent prayer needs and going and visiting someone who has a need and praying for them, or making them food, or getting my kids to help with their yard work, or depositing money into an account for someone who's in dire need. It's about the food bank that's open to the community. It's about the various community events we sponsor like movie drive in night, and Fall festivals. It's about a few incredible women that come to my house weekly to sing praises to God, study the Word together, and invest into one another's lives. It's about receiving a phone call about a free concert going on someplace and going with a friend from church. It's about standing in the line at the local grocery store and having someone come over and give me a hug and say just wanted to say hello sister. It's about going to the post office (we all have post office boxes in this town, no mail to houses) and feeling a rush of happiness because I see a dear brother or sister in the Lord there. It's about being connected to one another and loving each other; being together in the business of life.

When I think about the local body, I that phrase comes to my mind often - going through the busines of life together. What comes to your mind when you think about your local church?

It's those simple ones

I can relate to what Joyce said earlier this week about pick JUST ONE worship song that's my favorite - but I love so many?!!

We feel this way because music speaks the language of our hearts and it engages us. We experience music.

But I'm not a musician, not a gifted singer, not entrenched in the world of music. Perhaps it's because of this that I've found that it's the simple songs that I come back to repeatedly.

Those simple worship choruses, especially the ones singing my love to the Father, are the ones I come back to again and again. There have been countless mornings when I've stolen away to that treasured time alone, and began singing those simple songs; either from a heart filled with love and gratitude, or when I've felt nothing and chose to sing as an act of will. Either way, it's to those simple songs that I return time and time again.

It's during those times alone that sometimes a really cool thing has happened. It's as if God's used those simple choruses to quiet down my spirit and make me aware of His presence. I've been overcome with a tangible sense of His presence and His joy, that feeling of peace permeating me and that all is right with the world. In that awareness, sometimes I've stopped singing and began to laugh, or became silent in my awe of His greatness, or quietly began to whisper words of love and adoration to my great God.

Here are links to a few of those simple songs that I managed to find on youtube:

I love you Lord

Father I adore you

You're worthy of my praise

Hungry

What about you, do you have some simple choruses that you find have captured your heart?

He's there when I need Him

Like Andrea yesterday, I had trouble narrowing it down to just one experience. Most of those experiences have been during times of worship, either with others or when I'm alone. But the time I felt compelled to share about was during a season of my life when I needed Him and God was real in a tangible way, and His joy saw me through.

I am grateful that the All Mighty Creator of the universe, the Host of the Armies of Heaven, the Holy and Just and Perfect God, chooses to have His Holy Spirit live in me, and chooses to grace me with His very presence.

It's just that sometimes I'm aware of His presence, and sometimes I'm not so aware. Sometimes my experience of Him is palpable, and sometimes I don't feel a thing and have to act on faith.

I can remember a specific time in my life when I needed Him and frequently experienced both His presence and His joy. It was when I took over my first facility as administrator.

In some ways I'm not a natural at being an administrator; I've got the mental ability but I'm shy, hate confrontations, would like to just be nice all day, detest being the center of attention, and am a definite laid back, type B, personality who adores when I have the luxury to take her time. But in a hectic, busy, secured psychiatric facility the pace is fast and there's a lot at stake. No education, or on the job training, could prepare me for all the situations that came up daily in that first position. (Did I mention that we also had a labor union in that building?) So, there'd be times when I had to make a decision on the spot and I really didn't know what to do. My natural inclination is to think about a situation, and then look at it from all sides, and then think some more. To analyze it from every angle, to research, and evaluate it. But the day to day life of running that business did not always afford me that opportunity.

So I developed the habit of spending time with God every morning. Trying to program my brain through His Word so that His way of doing things would be my first response. Trying to connect with Him and allow His Spirit to center me so I'd have a compass for the day. Then, when those urgent situations came up, I'd just silently offer up a prayer of "Help Lord-what do I do?" and go with what seemed the best course at the time.

What I can remember, with a smile on my face as I think back on it, was how real He made His presence to me. It was similar to what I've seen in the movies, or heard people describe, about how their dad was with them when they first learned to ride a 2-wheel bike; he'd hold on for awhile before He let go. That was the type of experience I had with God during that season of my life; I never felt alone because I could sense His very presence, right there, when I called out to Him. And His presence filled me with such joy and security; knowing that my heavenly Father was there for me, that I wasn't alone as I was learning the ins and outs of the job He'd blessed me with to provide for my family.

What about you, have you experienced God's faithfulness? Has He been there when you needed Him?

You mean it's not all about me?

One of the biggest areas of impact for me, that growing in my understanding of my identity in Christ has had, is in the area of how I see other people.

I hate to admit this (simply because I hate that it's true), but one of the biggest areas that I struggle with is selfishness. Without even realizing it, an attitude of everything being all about me can creep right into my daily life. One of the things I adore about being a wife and mother is the daily abundance of opportunities to selflessly give. Same for being in a supervisory situation at work. I'm grateful that God's given me these opportunities to learn and practice making others the priority.

You know what? I've noticed that I'm not alone in this struggle.

There's just something in human nature that seems to call out to make ourselves foremost. I think that's why Jesus considered the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself one of the two commandments upon which all the others hinge. He assumed that people love themselves; people may not have healthy self images, may not like themselves, may even engage in self destructive behavior on some level - but at the core, they love themselves. When they're hungry, they want to eat. When they are in pain, they want it to stop.

The situation is so commonplace that there's even a goofy country western song about this topic that makes me smile every time I hear it.

But as I learn and grow in my understanding of the identity of the Believer in Christ, my mindset changes. As I think of how valuable we are to God, the fact that the all mighty Creator of the Universe has adopted us into His family,and that He has given us a purpose, hope, and future; my heart changes. It's difficult to live in awareness of this identity and not see others as valuable.

What about you, how does understanding your identity in Christ affect your relationship with others?

What's God's up to?

When I read scriptures like Psalm 139:13-16, Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Corinthians 12:4-27 and Ephesians 2:8-10, it's clear that God creates us as we are, and gifts us to be used in His work.

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to help people. Be it a kid in my class at school that others picked on, an old person in a convalescent home that never received visitors, hungry children in a third world country, or even someone whose story I'd hear on the news. My heart has always ached when I hear of someone's pain, and I've had an intense desire to do something to make it better.

That's why I went into the kind of work that I do. Since 1980, I've always worked in some kind of human services job. I'm drawn to the disenfranchised.

Also I've always been especially interested in helping women. I don't know if it's as simple as the fact that since I'm a woman I'm more inclined to understand women. Or if it's because I was born in 1960 and grew up under the influence of the women's movement. Maybe it's because of the fact that if you look throughout history, all over the globe, you'll be hard pressed to find anyone more universally oppressed than women.

So when I thought about this week's topic of what would be our dream, or ideal, ministry I was a bit stumped. Initially I thought about how there are hurting people everywhere and God's repeatedly provided me with jobs, and ministry opportunities through local churches where I've lived, to reach out in ways that He created my heart to desire. Then I thought about the word "ideal" or "dream" opportunity some more and thought how cool it would be if I had the freedom to openly share the gospel as as well? What would it be like if I daily got to lead hurting people to Christ and then help them individually grow in Him? That would be over the top exciting! Those few times in my life when I've had the opportunity to help someone who was new in her faith to learn and grow have been among the most rewarding endeavors I've ever experienced.

I'm grateful that in my current church I have the opportunity to serve yet, to be candid, it's super rare that I ever get to work in this context with a new Believer, or to invest in a person, one on one, like I get to invest in my supervisors at work. So, if we're dreaming here, that's what would really do it for me.

Yet, I know God is in control of all things. So I choose to try to remain open to Him and sensitive to what He wants me to do each day. I also choose to trust Him that if I "miss it", that He is more than capable of showing me the error of my ways and getting me back on His path. I choose to stand firm in the knowledge (even when I'm as confused as I've been in my job situation and frustrations that I've shared about for the past couple of years) that He does have a plan for my life and it's His plan that I want more than anything else!

Words of Love, Hope, and Power

A few words come to mind when I think about my fellows here at Kingdom Bloggers. Although I've never met any of them in person, or even talked on the phone, they each have a definite presence for me.

The Word is Love
When I think of Tony C, I think of Love. This man just seems to permeate love for others. It's always there in every account he relates; it doesn't matter if he actually comes out and talks about his love for others or not, it's still always in the subtext of whatever he's saying.



The Word is Hope
When I think of Joyce, I think of Hope. Even just the brief bit of her life that I know resounds with hope; God has brought her through so much in her life - how can I hear what God has done for Joyce and not feel hopeful inside?!


The Word is Power
When I think of David, I think of Power. God's power; manifest in us through His Holy Spirit. I see David earnestly seek after God, sincerely seek to be used by God, and passionately seek after the Holy Spirit's power being manifest in his life.


Not so surprisingly, I've learned about Love from Tony, Hope from Joyce, and God's power through us from David. I'm grateful that I've been blessed to be a part of this group and look forward to learning more from each of them in the days ahead.

How Gratitude Changed Me

I learned the lesson of gratitude at one of the worst times in my life.

It was in the year I turned 40 and my then-husband basically left me for a 30-year old. God provided for me because, although they knew nothing about my personal life, my work came to me and offered me $20K more per year if I'd move to a location about 90 minutes away from where we'd been living and work for them at that location. So I packed up my sons and our stuff, and moved us.

We didn't know anyone at this new location we'd moved to. I didn't know my way around. I was alone with my sons. I was grieving over the loss of a marriage, a mate, and a dream. I can remember holding it together to get everyone off to school in the morning, then crying all the way to work, then getting myself reigned in again to deal with my job, coming home and holding myself together for the boys throughout the evening, then wallowing in sadness through the night. This went on for weeks.

Then the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart that I had to start practicing gratitude if I ever wanted out of this deep pit of sorrow that was threatening to engulf me. He showed me that I was perseverating on all these hurtful things in my life, but that these sad things were not the only things in my life. That actually He was blessing me, but that I was so busy focusing on the hurtful things that I wasn't even noticing all the good. That every morning when I woke up I'd think about my broken heart and then the day would go downhill from there.

But I just couldn't seem to stop it. So I took a paper and wrote a few good things in my life on the paper; the fact that I had a job that paid the bills, that my sons are wonderful people, that we were all healthy. I taped that paper on the wall next to my bed so that the first thing in the morning when I woke up I would see that paper, read it, and thank God for those things.

Over time the list grew.

The list grew and so did the pattern of starting each day focusing on things in my life for which I could be thankful. I even began to do it throughout the entire day, whenever my spirit would be heavy, I'd start looking for what was good around me.

Eventually that heaviness was lifted and I experienced happiness, peace, and hope.

Prior to this time in my life, it would have been safe to say that I'd struggled throughout my adult life with depression and feeling really bad about myself. Whenever someone would read a list of characteristics that anyone who had 60% or more of these characteristics could be considered depressed, I'd always have ALL of the characteristics. Prior to that time in my life I'd struggled, not so much with guilt over specific actions, but just with feeling like I was a bad person.

Since then, I don't feel depressed, and I like myself.

That doesn't mean that I don't sometimes feel sad over sad events, or feel disconnected. It also certainly doesn't mean that I don't struggle with specific defects of character. But it does mean that peace, joy, and hope are pervasive in my life.

Gratitude changed my life.

Today I still seek to live in gratitude. I don't do it perfectly, but basically I'm constantly thanking God for all the good stuff He's giving me in each day. I have the freedom to just enjoy the little stuff; like beauty of the clouds in the sky, or appreciation for how my car always starts and gets me to where I need to go, or some nice little thing that someone did during my day that they did not have to do.

I like living this way.

What about you, what was a life event that helped you learn how to practice gratitude?

What do you think of when you think of summer?

When David suggested the topic of summer and Jesus I was a bit stumped. (OK, David, I DID go to VBS all my elementary school years and loved it.) But then I remembered an event that totally rocked my world when it happened.

I attended public school. When I was in high school I was blessed with lots of friends and involved in many extra curricular activities (not to mention that I actually liked most classes and learning); I just didn't know very many Christians. Especially not any that were super into God, His Word, and who wanted Him first in their lives. At church it seemed like the kids in the high school Sunday school class weren't into God or the Bible either. They were interested in the same things as the kids at school; the opposite gender, clothes, movies, music, cars - everything except the Word. I was interested in all those things too, but I was more interested in God. I kind of felt like a dork because I really wanted to get into the lesson the Sunday school teacher (a college girl who attended the local denominational college) presented, yet I didn't want to be the only student who ever answered questions or got engaged; it felt so awkward.

Then one day during summer school this older girl that I vaguely knew, who was in the same class as my boyfriend (who believed but was a super new Christian), invited him to a Bible study at a guy who went to another high school's house. The study was sponsored by Campus Crusade for Christ. We went and I'll never forget the pure joy that event stirred up inside of me that hot, summer, night.

There was a room filled with people my age and most of them were every bit as excited about Christ as me. I remember that afterward by boyfriend wanted to leave but that I couldn't tear myself away until only the last few people remained. It was so incredible to talk to other teens about things that really mattered to me. To realize that I was not alone in my faith. I couldn't get enough.

That summer I learned the importance of spending time with people of like faith. I experienced the meaning of fellowship.

Since then it's always seemed to me that summer presents a special time for relationships. Everything can be fun, casual, and outside. There's even time after work, since it doesn't get dark until later, to do things with people. Summer just seems to represent hanging out.

What about you, what does summer represent for you?

Memorial Day Gratitude

We learn things from our parents, even when they're not directly trying to teach us.

I can remember that my mother always got a lump in her throat when she looked at an American flag.

She and my father were both in what was then the Army Air Core (there wasn't an Air Force yet) during WWII. That's how they met. All of my uncles served in the military, and my son Devon graduated from USMA West Point last year and is scheduled to deploy this coming February, if not sooner. Through these people I hear accounts of war time experiences. (Although my father never shared a single war story. It is through my mother that I learned that he was a POW for a short time and had malaria.)

One of Devon's favorite quotes is from John Stuart Mills and I always think on it around Memorial Day:

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."

As I think on those who have died in service to our country I don't have anything creative or clever to say. Just that I'm grateful for their exertions, grateful for what they gave.

Truth and Relationships

I'm more grateful than I know how to put into words that I grew up in church. Fond childhood church memories overflow my thoughts. I'm grateful that those childhood seeds that were planted took root and have blessed me in many ways as an adult.

Two words stand out when I think about my childhood church experiences: Truth and Relationships.

Sunday school, midweek programs like Sunbeams and GAs (Girls in Action), Vacation Bible schools, camps, choirs, short term mission trips - all of these were fun. The Bible was experienced as a delight, and that same feeling still exists for me today. Through all those years, and all those wonderful teachers, I was able to go through the entire Bible numerous time and develop a kind of mental frame work of how it all fits together (somewhat) that makes reading and understanding the Bible easier. Even though I know it's still all by the work of the Holy Spirit within me that the Bible becomes real and meaningful, all those experiences helped till the soil of my heart. I'm grateful to my parents for their own faithfulness and sacrifice to take me to, or send me out on, all those church related events and experiences.

None of my church memories feel like church was a place or limited to a Sunday service (although I do confess to tons of memories involving freeze tag played on the church lawns. What smart teachers thought to do that with a bunch of wiggly kids prior to trying to sit them down to teach them?!). Church was about relationships. I remember church people frequently being in our home. Back yard BBQs, people who were attending the denominational seminary over to share meals, English lessons through the Bible at our home...the people who we were in church with were in our home and in our lives. I can remember almost every Sunday when I was in elementary school either having my friends from church over after church, or going to their homes to play. I can also remember lots of different families, who didn't even have kids my age or kids at all, taking me with them to fun places like Disneyland or the beach or just to hang out and watch TV at their house and stay the night (as an adult I'm guessing that they did this to bless my parents with some adult time; but at the time it just seemed like that's what life was like). To this day when I think of my church the faces of numerous specific people come to my mind; my heart is filled pleasure as I think of these folks. Even though I may not be "best friends" with all of them, we are in relationship and there's not a doubt in my mind but that they know me (good and bad) and love me and even like me! I think that in this world that we live in that is saying a lot.

What about you, what are some of the seeds that were planted during your childhood church experiences that you see the fruit of in your life today?

What's wrong with being a book worm?!

This week we're all just sharing a bit about who we are by answering some questions:

What's your favorite candy bar?
Rocky Road

What's your favorite song (post a link!)?
One of my favorites is Blessed be Your Name

What sports or activities have you participated in, or do enjoy watching on TV?
Although I enjoy plenty of physical activities (hiking, skating, dancing, bicycling, etc.) I've never been into sports. Back in school I was one of those girls in PE class who ducked when the volley ball came my way. But I did attend all of my middle son's Friday night high school football games and cheered loudly for he and his friends!

What was your first job?
Worked at a Carl's Jr

What sort of work do you get/last received pay for?
Running residential facilities for special needs populations (Currently I run small homes in the community where developmentally disabled adults live, prior to this I ran secured psychiatric facilities).

What's the last great book you read?
Currently reading The Joy of Full Surrender by Jean Pierre de Caussade and it will definitely make my top 10 Christian books list. Recently listened to a lightweight, fun, female trilogy of books on CD while driving, doing housework, and cooking entitled the Airhead series that I thought was a lot of fun.

When I have free time away from family and work, I like to _________ .
Hike, take long walks, read, visit art museums

You need to know three things about my family, and they are __________ .

• July of 2005 God blessed me with my husband John

• I have 3 sons ages almost 23, almost 17, and 18

• We have a dog named Jake that we got from the pound about 3yrs ago

The town I live in is ___________?
A small (posted population 3,500) ski resort town nestled in the San Gabriel mountain range in southern California.

What version of the Bible do you read the most?
I enjoy The Message paraphrase and NIV frequently

Maundy Thursday

Maundy comes from the Latin word mandatum, meaning "commandment". In John 13:1-34, Jesus both demonstrates and proclaims a new commandment. Specifically, in verse 34 He comes out and says:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Whenever I read these words I'm blown away. The preceding verses show Jesus washing His disciples feet, loving the one who will betray Him, and sharing about the fact that He will give His very body and blood so that His followers can experience forgiveness of sin; then He says that we are to love one another as He loved us!

Whenever I read this passage I'm hit anew with the truth that I can not do this.

I'm always brought back to the fact that it is only through Christ in me, by staying connected to God my source, that I can even start to touch the edges of this kind of love.

What about you, what are your thoughts as you reflect on this new commandment that Christ gave His followers?

When praise isn't enough

Since this coming Sunday will be Palm Sunday, that's what we're writing about this week at Kingdom Bloggers.

I've got to tell you, I've never had a deep and meaningful Palm Sunday experience. Although I've repeatedly read and heard about how "all four gospels come to a crescendo with this event" of Palm Sunday, and how Palm Sunday was "the ultimate act of worship in all of history", whenever I think about Palm Sunday I'm left with questions.

Questions like, How could people be so outwardly recognizing Jesus' rightful glory, honor, and worthiness and proclaiming Him as Lord one day, and then be crying out for his crucifixion less than a week later? Maybe it wasn't all the exact same people, but there had to be some of the same people in both groups. Even if the same people who'd been praising Him during His triumphant entry into Jerusalem were not crying out for His crucifixion, they certainly weren't defending Him. The event of Palm Sunday brings me to the question of if praising God is enough. It causes me to wonder if following after emotion can be a dangerous path.

Don't get me wrong, I love to worship God. Someone only needs to begin to read God's names, or recount His blessings, and the Holy Spirit rises up within me and I want to start praising God. My husband can attest to the fact that many are the mornings when I'm singing praises to God. Our God truly and certainly is worthy of all our praises and more.

I also think passion and emotion and enthusiasm are wonderful things. Passion, emotion, and enthusiasm bring the zest to life. But those three, minus knowledge and truth, are dangerous. A perfect is example is couples in love. I can't tell you how many couples I've known that are sexually active, sometimes even living together outside of marriage, who tell me how God has blessed them with this love. Yet if they had enthusiasm and knowledge they would let the sex wait until after marriage so that they could fully experience God's blessings.

But aren't you grateful for God's forgiveness? I know that I sure am! I'm reminded of what Jeremiah proclaimed in Lamentations 3:22-23:

²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

ALL of us need God's forgiveness. ALL of us fall short often. It's ONLY through the shed blood of Jesus that any of us can come into the presence of God.

I'm a grateful recipient of God's forgiveness every single day. I mess up frequently. But I don't want to stay the same, I want to grow in God. I want to learn more, experience more, yield more, be used more, with every passing day.

I think that one piece to how I do that is to grow in knowledge, to base my passion and emotion and even my praise, on the knowledge that God grows in me. To be in the Word, and open to the Holy Spirit's teaching me through His opening up God's word to my heart, through His own sweet presence, through brothers and sisters in the faith, and through life experiences. To stop insisting on my way (Seems like that's what the Israelites did with Jesus; they insisted that He be an earthly kind of king and bring them political freedom. They were praising Him greatly when that's who they thought He was, but they turned away when they realized that it wasn't.) and look for what He's doing, what He wants, for His agenda.

When I was thinking about all of this, I talked with my husband John. When he read the quote from Lamentations, he reminded me that many of those very same people who'd called for Jesus' crucifixion, may have been present at Pentecost. That one of the reasons God IS WORTHY of our praise, is because of His great mercy and compassion.

So these are the thoughts I'm pondering as we're approaching the celebration of Palm Sunday in the Western church. What about you, what kinds of things come to your mind as you're thinking about Palm Sunday?

Honoring God in the Ordinary

Few truer things have been said then that much of life is routine.

Every morning we wake up. We go to work, or maybe we stay home with young children, or maybe something else all together. But whatever it is that you do every day, at work or at home, there are so many mundane tasks that must be done repeatedly; tasks that are not particularly recognized when they’re done, but will eventually catch up to you if left undone.

I’ve found that in the midst of the routine, in the midst of the mundane, that I can become stagnant if I’m not careful.

If I don’t choose to replenish my supply of God’s gifts on a daily basis, I’ve noticed that my drive starts to putter away, like a car whose battery is wearing out. I’m reminded of how when the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they had to gather God’s miraculous provision of manna daily (Exodus 16:4). I’ve read that the word enthusiasm derives from two Greek words, en theos, meaning “inspired by God”. My life needs to be inspired and filled, each new day with God’s goodness for that day.

I decided a few years ago that I did not have to have something extraordinary happening in my life to be excited. That I did not have to have a perfect job, marriage, home, or children to choose to live with enthusiasm. I can, as directed in Romans 12:11, choose to “Never lag in zeal and in earnest endeavor; be aglow and burning with the Spirit, serving the Lord.” A few years ago I decided that no matter where I was in life, that I wanted to make the most of it and be the best I could be; to honor God in the ordinary, in my every day life.

You need to know that I’m not what people would consider a charismatic personality, nor am I super self disciplined. So staying enthused and seeking to honor God in my every day life do not come naturally to me. But there are some things that I have found helpful for me in this process; staying in the Word, keeping good role models in my eyesight, choosing to constantly and consistently speak words of thankfulness, music, and choosing excellence even in the small things.

What about you, what have you found helps you stay inspired by God in daily life?

The passion of the flame within

Thinking about this whole topic of heart's desires this week has reminded me of a Proverb that I've often thought on from Proverbs 13:12 (NIV):

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Like everyone else, I've had those experiences where I've really wanted something and not gotten it. Experienced the deep disappointment and frustration.

But I've also been blessed many times over through the course of my life by God giving me the desires of my heart. Between those times of receiving and those times of not receiving I've noticed that same pattern that David talked about in his post on Monday; when I've sought after what God wanted for me, I've received it. Seems to me that if I want to approach this whole thing strategically, that what I need to do is look for what God is doing and join in His work.

But all of life is not a game of strategy. I'm a typical woman in that I'm heart motivated. So I guess for me I need to seek to let the Holy Spirit till the ground of my heart so that my motivations can be His. As of now the practical ways that I know to do my part in this process are to spend time in the Word, mediating on it and to be in constant communication with God. Also to be open as the Holy Spirit uses life situations to make changes in me; to cooperate in that process rather than fight it.

Some of the basic heart desires that God's so graciously blessed me in are my husband and sons. A big part of my whole motivation in life is to be a good wife and mother; sounds simplistic but we all know that it's anything but easy. Yet God in His goodness has blessed me over and over in these relationships. Teaches me daily how to more loving and effective.

Another heart's desire that I've had since my teen years has been to work in a capacity that makes a fundamental difference in the lives of people. God has blessed that desire as well. He's blessed me with letting me work with problem youths, brain injured people, developmentally disabled people, and mentally ill people at various jobs through the years. Sometimes I've worked in a direct care capacity, sometimes I've been a line supervisor, and sometimes I've (at least theoretically) run the show. But in all those capacities I got to spend my work time investing in people and making a difference. A couple of weeks ago I was at a job interview where the man commented on how impacted he was during the interview by my passion for my work, that he was attracted to that passion and found it gratifying to encounter. Isn't it like that when God puts us right where our heart is at? When we get to do what makes our heart well up within us? God is so good!

But, a side note here, even in the blessing of God there is so much I do not understand. A perfect example is that very same interview. That interview went super well, they both said how much they liked me and that I would be invited back for the second round of interviews, and it's now been two weeks and I've heard nothing. The point I want to make through this life example is that I don't have the big picture. None of us do. But God does, and at this point in my life I'm grateful that I can rest in Him, know that His will really is best.