It's been a jammed packed week, so I'm late on a lot of my reading. As a matter of fact, I just finished reading the post this week of my fellow Kingdom Bloggers. Wow! What a diverse and talented group they are, and a real blessing to me personally.
You may be getting a bit tired of hearing me say that, but it doesn't make it any less true. I've never met David, Joyce, Dave or Tracy in person, but I know God has placed them in my life to shore me up, reinforce me, during those moments of doubt. Oh yes, those moments do come. More often than I care to admit. But it's not just my fellow Kingdom Bloggers. Many times a comment or email made by a reader will come at just the right moment. A moment when God is reminding me I do this for Him...not me.
For those of you who blog, you understand the commitment to pen new muses on a regular basis. For those of you who read, the commitment is no less real. We write and we read to find and enjoy fellowship with other Believers. We also write and we read to to be in one accord. Do we all agree on every point of Christian theology? Yes, I chuckled at that absurd question too, but what we do believe in is a God that loves us so much, He provided a way for us to return to Him after we messed up a great thing.
That's where I believe my doubt has changed through the years. While there was a time I arrogantly questioned God's wonderful plan of salvation because it was based on faith, today my doubt will often come from the overwhelming gift of His grace. How can I possibly deserve such a gift? Well...we all know I'm not worthy of His grace, and that's what makes the gift the greatest ever given or to be given. It's hard to imagine that much love.
I can't think of a better way to end the week than 4 minutes and 50 seconds thinking about that gift...have a blessed holiday weekend with God all over it.
Can a real Believer, a born again follower of Christ, have doubts?
Yes.
I know I sure do.
I also know that I love God. I'm grateful beyond anything words can ever express that He gave me the faith to believe in Him, that I have a relationship with the creator of the universe, that He cares for me, and that He has good plans for my life.
The late Michael Spencer who wrote at the Internet Monk site, once said something about doubt that I appreciate and that's really stuck with me:
"I deeply disagree with those who say we should not speak of faith until we have answers. It shouldn’t take a lot of consideration to understand the answer may be “there’s no answer for this question.” If I have to go beyond that, I’m going at the expense of my integrity. Nothing good comes of that.”
For me, if my faith isn't genuine, then it's worthless. For me to have genuine faith I must be honest. If I'm honest I have to admit that there are some things in the Bible that don't make sense to me, or that I don't really like, that all the explanations for why bad things happen to good people still leave me feeling sad and disconsolate; and this is not even mentioning the fact that, like Joyce wrote about on Tuesday, sometimes I have trouble believing God because of my own fear.
Recently I attended a Catholic Mass for the first time. I was moved by the beauty and symbolism throughout the service and captivated by the references to the mystery of our faith. I like that phrase because I really believe that there are many things concerning God that are just too much for me to understand. I'm reminded of the Bible passage found in Isaiah 55:8-9 (KJV):
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
When it's all said and done, I don't think a God who I could totally understand would be very valuable.I'm grateful that God's ways are higher and better than mine, that He's got the big picture and is working things for the best outcome.
I'm also grateful that, when I want to follow after God and find myself doubting, that I can always reach out to Him in honesty and ask Him, just like the father did in Mark 9:20-25,to help me overcome my unbelief.
I think I’d like to just say ditto to David’s blog yesterday and move on. So much of what he said pertains to me as well. While I didn’t fail English and I have at times fancied myself to be a writer, I too doubted when I hear over and over and over again, you need to write a book. I don’t know if doubt is the right word to describe my feelings it is more that I think I am just giving into my own fantasy and wishes. Yet, how could all these people who know little about me say the same thing?
I also thought of Thomas as soon as I heard the topic for this week. Doubting Thomas – I preached on him just a few weeks ago. I agree, Thomas had a lot more faith than I do too.
As I looked at the passage where we proclaim Thomas a doubter, I saw something rather different than I had seen before. We focus so much on Thomas and his doubt that we forget about the other people in this story. Like Thomas, they had been with Jesus. They saw all the miracles Jesus did. But what were they doing?
Later on that day, the disciples had gathered together, but, fearful of the Jews, had locked all the doors in the house. Jesus entered, stood among them, and said, "Peace to you." Then he showed them his hands and side.
Locked inside…
That doesn’t really sound like men and women of faith and power to me. It is clear. They were scared. I think terrified might be a better word. Their Teacher, the one they had banked their lives and livelihood on had just been murdered.
Notice that Jesus showed them his hand and side. He spoke Peace to them. Many of us are doubters like the disciples. We hid behind closed doors never admitting our fear or doubts. We’d prefer to look like people of faith and power – we make good confessions and say hallelujah and amen! But in reality, we are locked behind this façade of superficial faith. We know all the right words.
I’ve been a lot like that at times. I’ve prayed for people with some pretty serious illnesses and situations. I pray for them that they will be healed, or their finances restored, etc. Yet, when it comes to me, my needs, my problems, my issues, I seriously doubt. Not that I doubt what God can do, I just doubt He’d do it for me. I lock myself up inside and hide just like the disciples.
All the disciples had doubts – fear and doubt go together like peas in a pod. They have this symbiotic relationship and feed on each other.
Thomas on the other hand was not behind the locked door. I wonder what he was doing? Do you ever read the scriptures and wonder such questions? I do. Had he returned to his former life? Was he the one who had the most courage to go shop for the trembling disciples? I don’t know. But he wasn’t locked up behind a door. It seems he wasn’t as bound up in fear.
I guess Thomas was a Missourian – Missouri is the show me state. Their motto: I’m from Missouri and you gotta show me. I’ve lived in Missouri. I’m a bit like that myself. You want real. You want to know for yourself. You want to experience it yourself.
Eight days later when Thomas was with them, it doesn’t say the door was locked. Seems that encounter with the Holy Spirit took away the fear. It’s much easier to not doubt once you’ve had an encounter for yourself.
Thomas was honest about his doubts. The only way to have your doubts resolved is to be honest. To stop hiding behind the closed doors of fear. I think Thomas was a realist. He wanted to know that this was real. He wanted to know it for himself. He said SHOW ME.
Sometimes, our doubts are just the opportunity Jesus is waiting for to show you just how real He is.
What are you doubting? If you’re hiding behind a door of fear, don't be surprised if Jesus pops in your life and says PEACE. If you’re like Thomas and you want to be sure it’s real. Say so…
I was reading about doubting Thomas the other day. Over the years, he has been the poster child for doubt in the church. Whenever any preacher, pastor or priest talks about faith, many talk about doubt, and invariably Thomas's name comes up.
This week the brethren are going to write about doubt. Every Christian has a crises of faith from time-to-time.
There are lots of times when, in my walk as a Christian, I have doubted. I would often take comfort in the fact that Thomas was a doubter - and that I am blessed if I don't have to see proof. Amazingly, last week I was reading and writing about Thomas. I thought I would share the part about Thomas here on Kingdom Bloggers. I wrote the following over on a Fire & Grace blog.
"Trust me, if you were Thomas, you’d have much more faith than the average American Christian. You may remember the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead.
John 11:16 Then Thomas (called Didymus) said to the rest of the disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with him." 17 On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days.
We all know how the story ends. Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus. Of course Thomas was there when the Gaterenenian Demoniac was set free, the storm was calmed, the water was turned to wine, and he was one of the guys watching bread and fish multiply before his very eyes as he distributed it on the hillside to 5,000 men and their families!"
When I view Thomas from that perspective, I believe I am much more of a doubter than he was.
As a Christian, when I talk about doubt, I noticed my doubts have changed over the decades. In the early days I was concerned about Jesus the man/God. Later on, I struggled with the supernatural - healing, tongues, demons, prophecy, words of knowledge, miracles - it was all unfamiliar to me. And because of that I doubted the Bible in other areas, though I seemed pretty secure in my salvation. The truth was, I did not know how to hear God's voice - it was unfamiliar. As I have said before, I thought it was some random act when God spoke to me about something.
Finally, I learned to have 2-way relationship with Jesus. I learned how to pray, to listen, to flow with the things that I was sensing. It took years because I had a lot of Bible, but no real mentoring. Many men tried to make excuses for the parts of the Bible that were unfamiliar to them. I thank God that I just abandon myself to Him, that I read many books about miracles and other supernatural things that my God did for others - hmmm... was it possible that He would allow me to be a part of that too?
I remember one day I was I read this passage.
1 John 1:2 The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us.
The apostle John wanted to testify in writing what He had seen. What do you suppose John thought at this moment? Acts 3:6 Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."
I had received a prophetic word about writing - "you will write, write, write." Little did the one giving the word know I had failed English and/or reading 9 out of 12 grades - writing - heck spelling wasn't even a strong point.
One day I was sitting at my PC and I heard the voice of the Lord tell me to write about the wedding in Cana. I read the passage and I felt an amazing anointing and I simply understood it as a picture of salvation. And so I wrote about it. A few days later I began to write about things God did through me and others that I knew - shared about prayer, power, and anything else that God would give me during my morning devotions. I searched God out at every conference and meeting that I could find - and I began to see God work in powerful ways.
In fact I have seen so many things that God has unquestionably done, that I must tell the stories. 400 or so are within the this blog and Fire & Grace. But there were over 500 daily emails that I sent out as well. I love to give God glory, and to testify to the things that He has done in my life. I write about these things because, for so many years, I was simply told to have faith, pray for faith, operate in faith, but I doubted.
Testimonies are a good way of building your faith, and the faith of others. It is how I have overcome doubt. It is important to tell others what God has done, that is one of the ways we overcome the Devil!
Revelation 12:11 They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
When I do not doubt, I can see the dry or desert times for what they are. I can ask for wisdom and knowledge, or I can ask God to heal or change a situation. It is because of what He has done on the cross, His great love for me (and you) and because I dared to believe even the wildest of biblical claims.
It's been a jammed packed week, so I'm late on a lot of my reading. As a matter of fact, I just finished reading the post this week of my fellow Kingdom Bloggers. Wow! What a diverse and talented group they are, and a real blessing to me personally. 
