Technology in My Life--Seven Favorites by Jenna Vick Silliman

With the technology of my i-pod full of awesome worship music, plugged into a boom box with an aux cord, I dance with my white flags and "make His praise glorious." (See Psalm 66:2.)

1.       I like how technology helps me connect with people all over the world. I have friends in Germany, Canada, Vermont, Florida, and New Zealand and many more places. We have sweet fellowship over the phone, through texting, Facebook messaging, Facebook posting, and by e-mail. I love to hear what God is doing in their lives and how He is speaking to them through Scripture and through life. I feel rich when I think about all my awesome friends!

2.       Music is everything to a dancer. My i-pod with thousands of songs, all organized with a “menu” and my own playlists, will never cease to amaze me. I have it with me wherever I go and by plugging it into my boom box with an aux cord, I am ready to worship and dance everywhere I go. At our home church we enjoy music from bands all over the world—the very best! I am so thankful for our awesome worship music when we gather. With the technology available, I have so much awesome music to explore, enjoy, and share with the touch of a button or two!

3.       I have an active curiosity and I love to learn and discover new things in all different arenas. Life is so interesting. School is always in session. I like how I can ask any question in the world and get answers! As a dancer, I enjoy learning from other dancers on the Internet. They are available to teach me whenever I am ready.

4.       Technology has helped me study the Scriptures and discover deeper meanings of words and contexts and what God is saying. I like to search out a passage that God is using to speak to me. What fun to explore on the Internet what the Word is saying!

5.       Something I used to hate is now a fun time--standing in lines waiting for my turn at the check-out in grocery stores. It seemed like such a waste of time. Now I just use my cell phone and get on Facebook and start “liking” my friends’ posts or I go to the Internet and check out something or I go to You-Tube and watch something. Thanks to the technology of “smart phones” this dead time is now filled. Yay for technology!

6.       I love photographs. I have an awesome collection going on my laptop and I add to it every week. I see what others are posting on Facebook, or I go to Google Images, or the Internet and I “save” on my computer the pictures that speak to me.  One of my favorite things to post on my Facebook is a picture with a Scripture and/or an inspirational thought or quote.  My cell phone has an awesome camera and it is so fun to take pictures and “share” them on Facebook or sending them on to my friend’s phones. Pictures speak a thousand words—or more!

7.       I am a writer and a communicator. My laptop is portable and easy to grab and start writing. My website with my blog www.TheDanceOfLifeWithJenna.blogspot.com , my Facebook, my e-mail, and my blog here with Kingdom Bloggers all give me outlets for creative expression. I just checked my blog and in February, just last month alone, I had 547 readers. Thanks to technology I can share with all these people what God has put on my heart. I have many wonderful opportunities to express myself and the abundant life of Jesus!

A Free Day is a Full Day....

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Annie Dillard.

Having free time used to put me on a guilt trip. When I was a young mom, I would sometimes stress about the“free time” I had during my child’s nap. Should I clean? Should I luxuriate in a good book, or rejuvenate with a nap? Should I spend it praying, meditating and writing? More times than not, I often felt guilty about having that free time that my husband did not, or not using the time as productively as I could have. I was trapped by the twentieth-century perception that only by “doing” are we “living.”

Years ago, I was in a small group with a older woman who said what she loved most about her day was the time when she would just “be.” She would ponder, pray, just enjoy the quiet. Huh. I could not get that--I was the type of person who was wired for people and productivity. To my 28 year-old self, sitting and pondering seemed out of the realm of possibility. It took only

about a decade for me to realize I needed to slow down and allow my soul to be refreshed by just “being” instead of constantly “doing.” But my type of slowing down can also include my loved ones.

A free day for me would depend on the weather and where I happen to be. A cozy rainy or snowy day at home could involve a book, a lot of tea and couch time. It could mean relishing the Lord of the Rings trilogy, or the A & E six-hour production of Pride and Prejudice. But with only one television in our household, and pastor-husband Tim who needs some space and quiet to write a sermon, the books and tea would probably win out.

But give me a beautiful day, crisp or warm, sunny or partly cloudy, it will start on my porch with a cup of Earl Grey and my Spurgeon devotional, “Morning and Evening,” my Bible companion for three years. After that, perhaps a walk along the Eire Canal with Tim, or a chat with a child before heading to my next joy: spending an afternoon with a dear friend or a family member.

If I drive to Ithaca, (we lived there for three wonderful years), I meet my friend Rhonda--last time I entered her house, she had a cup of tea waiting for me--and we may chat at Gimme Coffee (beats Starbucks, hands down) and laugh until we embarrass our daughters, visit our favorite consignment shops, Mimi’s Attic or Trader K’s, and talk about God, our kids and our husbands. When I recently drove back and forth to Ithaca, my soul was refreshed with the views of Cayuga Lake and the magnificent sunset on the return trip, as I listened to Selah.

If I could spend a free day in New England, where I grew up, I would walk by the ocean, stroll Newbury Street in Boston and sip tea at Tea Luxe, and visit my family in Connecticut. The end of the day would include a glass of wine with my friend Chris, while she frets over the UCONN game (her reaction to a missed basket is entertaining).

If all of my kids are home--two are in college in Boston--a great free day would include a French toast or pancake breakfast made by Tim as our son Sam plays guitar, an afternoon at the movies--preferably sci fi or action--and then the kids make dinner while I sip a glass of wine, read something, and enjoy listening to my family tease one another.

A perfect day is not free, but full--full of the blessings of God’s presence, a favorite book or film, and a good friend.

"P" Soup: Reflecting on 2011

I am thankful and thrilled to be part of this team for Kingdom Bloggers. Just to give readers a short introduction, I live and work in Rochester, New York; we moved here in July 2010 when my husband took on his first pastorate after 20 years in business and three years of seminary studies. As for me, thirty years ago God placed a radical call on the life of an ordinary Irish girl from New England. He changed my life trajectory completely, for which I am very thankful. I love God, people and the hope we have in Jesus Christ. I have degrees in English and counseling, and enjoy reading, writing, cooking, and touching others with hints of God’s love, especially scones and tea.

This week, we are reflecting on our “Top Five Blessings for 2011.” Most of us have heard the modern exhortation, “Don’t live in the past. ” But even the Apostle Paul--who tells us in his letter to the Philippians that he leaves behind the past and presses on toward the future (Phil. 3:13)--understood the value of reflection. Just read his self-assessment a few verses earlier. So, being a cook, here is my own 2011 "P Soup" as I reflect on a difficult, but fruitful year:

5. Pressure--2011 presented pressure for many people in our sphere. For our family, we were adjusting to a new city after six years on the North Shore of Massachusetts (the longest we have lived in one place), a new church (where my husband Tim is pastor), a new high school for our youngest, being a significant distance from family and friends, and my needing employment--and that’s the short list. But the pressure presented opportunity for #4:

4. Perseverance--“Thus far the Lord has helped us” (1 Samuel 7:12). God has always pushed us to “new places” but he has shored us up with his grace, strength, mercy, and a sense of humor.

To help my sanity and to challenge myself, I set a goal to read 50 books in 2011 and write about it on Facebook--52 books later, with a lot less television, and a sense of accomplishment, I did it! We have had to persevere in trusting and hoping for #3:

3. Provision--Alleluia! Tim and I minister and collaborate at our church, our daughter loves her school and joined the crew team, our older daughter Maggie had a dream trip to Ireland (where my mom was born), England and Paris, and is in her freshman year at her dream school, our son Sam got engaged to his high school sweetheart and they will both graduate college this year, and our entire family participated in my sister-in-law’s wedding (including Tim performing the ceremony, his first!). God blessed us with not only one mild winter here on the “North Coast,” but two!

2. Pals--God knows how important relationships are to me, and not only did he move our family closer to longtime friends in Ithaca, but also gave me some great friends here in Pittsford I cherish. A new friend and I started a book group last year, and it is thriving. Since our older children attend college in Boston, I have opportunity to visit dear friends and family members a few times a year in CT and MA! Now, if we can only get these people to drive to Western New York more often ;).

1. Presence--2011 was a tough year, but it was also a blessed year because God’s presence was with us, encouraging, exhorting, renewing. This list of Top Five may seem a little odd because the content includes some tough categories, but it is through the challenges of life we remember to lean on the only One who can truly help us, and save us! His presence is our peace.

To know him is to…really want to write a book or two.

I’ve not read any of the post here this week for a reason because you see, we’re roasting my good friend David Johndrow on Kingdom Bloggers this week, and I didn’t want to taint what I have to say…

And I have a lot to say!

I met David in the blogosphere in 2009. He first commented on my personal blog at Tony C Today on January 8th of 2009 on a post about the futility of atheism. Apparently, it was part of some kind of New Years Resolution he’d made about attracting more readers to his own blog at Fire and Grace. He must have read an article or book or something…anyway it worked, and we started a relationship of mutual snarky comment remarks that's lasted to this very day.

Now he’s taking a God-led hiatus, and quite honestly, I have mixed feelings. Paul talks a lot about this in his Epistles. Exactly now where do I go with my sarcastic comments motivated by the flesh?! Don’t get me wrong…I absolutely love Joyce, Tracy and Andrea, but my southern heritage along with my former officer and a gentleman indoctrination via the USMC (oorah!) practically forbid me make snarky comments on their blog post. Hey…call it sexist if you like…but you just can’t make a coconut cream pie with apples!

So I don’t know where I’ll sarcastically remark now that you’re quitting David. Guess I’ll go unload on Appling over at the Church of No People and get lost in 700 or so remarks he generates with each post. My apologies for the Comment envy Matt…

Anyway, mutual comments lead to a Facebook friendship which lead to telephone calls and text messages which lead to praying together and for each other…and before you know it…there’s virtual holy kisses of greetings going on all over the place! Thanks to DJ, I clearly understand that’s scriptural now.  I believe you’re onto something Joyce with your doctorate dissertation hypothesis about social media connections.

David and I are very much kindred souls despite the Mason/Dixon line that separates us. We’re both married WAY up, love Jesus first and foremost, both have three daughters and look or have looked like a Hollywood celebrity. Come on! Look how much Johndrow looks like James Woods! They’re practically twins!



So what celebrity do I look like? Depends on where we are in my timeline…



Or…



You can stop laughing now…

Seriously, I love my friend David Johndrow who has helped me be a better light for Jesus. Through his words of encouragement, dissection and analysis of the Word, and love he shares with so many others, David is following in the very footprints left by our greatest teacher and Savior. I know in my heart that he is following where being lead…and that too is yet another lesson to be noted by all of us.

God bless your mission in His name my friend. Mwah!

You truly can love people you've never met...thanks to Jesus!

This weeks subject matter took on a little different feel than I originally intended...but I don't ever want to stand in the way of the Holy Spirit working.

First, I've been really encouraged by the number of readers this blog is drawing each week. Thank you. Comments are always welcome and help make the dialogue even better, but just the fact that you read each week is very uplifting to each of us. To God goes all the glory and honor!

As you've seen this week, your Kingdom Bloggers are an assorted bunch. I take great comfort in that fact too. God has opened my eyes to many sanctimonious misconceptions I carried around for years about my faith by using this particular time in my life and this group of writers to accomplish just that. If I had to pick a single lesson that stands above all the rest I've learned in the past few years, it would undoubtedly be...

 ¹ My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. ² He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 2:1, 2

That's right. The sins of the whole world. We have a tendency to often live our lives in a microcosmic sense which creates a seriously skewed vision about how God works. Been there...done (maybe even still doing) that! It's just a sinful by-product of living in such a narcissistic world environment. Instead of becoming more aware and more concerned about God's entire earthly creation as information borders and boundaries opened up globally for our information hungry society thanks in large part to technology,  we have withdrawn back into our shells seemingly afraid to venture out in His name.

I'm not talking about just missionary work to foreign lands either. We are called to reach other in His name, but I personally don't have to board a plane or boat to accomplish that...I just need to walk out of my office and into a number of any other offices at my workplace. That, however, is a completely different post.

In my opinion, people living in the Bible Belt having a particularly distorted view of God's world. It's almost arrogantly ignorant enough to self-proclaim to have become the new Children of God, or Confederate Jews if you will. Don't laugh...take it from someone who lives here every day. If I succumb to this narrow way of thinking, it might look something like this:

 How could someone from the Northeast part of the country (David J) know God better than me? I grew up going to Sunday School and church every single Sunday of my life! I know the Bible!
...my brother David J's biblical knowledge far exceeds my own and rivals anyone I personal know. He is my dear friend and confidant thanks to a loving God who knows and cares about what I need to better serve Him.   

California (Tracy)?! Are there actually Christians in that pagan, liberal state?
...my sister Tracy reflects the very heart of Jesus in everything she writes in a clarity like none other. Her light for Jesus shines brightly for the whole world to see.

Women should be...nuns or something. Not pastors (Joyce)!
...soon to be Dr. Joyce Lighari is equipped educationally and through life experiences better than any pastor I know to lead a flock for Christ. If she were closer, I'd love to be one of her sheep! 

Head-bangers (Dave T) don't really worship. God doesn't like hearing that loud garbage!
...an original member of Kingdom Bloggers, Dave Tevet's worship can be seen in his daily walk with Jesus. He has been blessed with a talent for sharing the Word in a manner anyone can understand.


Our God works in a great big, complex world that He created. His Spirit works just as diligently in the South Pacific as the Southeastern United States. God's love extends to the Buddhist as well as the Baptist. The Mormon as well as the Methodist. The Pakistani Muslim and well as the Pentecostal.

All of humankind is His creation and have been called to accept and share. Through my bond with a few passionate people for Jesus on Kingdom Bloggers, I have a better understanding that it's not just my mission, my church's mission, my denominations mission...it's every one's mission to serve the Kingdom...and we need each other to accomplish this.

Last Sunday, a profound message fell on my ears courtesy of Pastor Derek Bell- Our physical bodies need rest, but our souls don't. Satan never takes a vacation.

With my brothers and sisters in Christ close at hand, I never have to worry about falling down spiritually due to exhaustion. Doesn't God think of everything?

Hallelujah!

Thank you Lord for the privilege to serve You with this special group of people. You have blessed me with their friendship and educated me with their spiritual knowledge. May we never fail to give all honor. praise and glory to your Holy name. In the name and with the love of Jesus, Amen.

I saw Michael Jackson's head burst into flames during that Pepsi commercial...

I remember vividly the Sunday morning that was to be my first at FFWBC in my small home town...

My now wife, Candice, wasn't even my then girlfriend, but she had been persistent in her invitation for me to attend her church one Sunday. Her eyes would sparkle as she described the people, the place and most importantly the Divine presence in the house of worship. She had grown up in the church and was as active as any youth that attended in the numerous ministries the church conducted. 

Reluctant is an understatement for my initial feeling as I approached the entrance. I would carry with me through the doors that first Sunday morning an attitude near contempt. I realize today that my demeanor was much more a reflection of my own self-loathing than a true feeling toward any single person in attendance that Sunday.

After a few hand shakes and pleasantries with people I had known for many years, I parked myself near the back row almost perfectly diagonal from where Candice and her family sat. No way I was walking up there where they sat...the back of my head might burst into flames from the laser-like stares and feelings projected in my direction of ill-repute. I would have soon danced naked on Main Street that very moment...and I was completely sober!

Today, I look back on that day as a pivotal day in a new beginning for my life. Was I comfortable? Absolutely not! Did I run to the altar and fall on my face begging for God to forgive my many transgressions? Unfortunately no. But the one word that best describes that day, hands down, as I look back is...love.

God brought me to a place of His love, filled with His people, using one of His own. I get pretty emotional when I look back and think about it. My negative attitude was completely absorbed by people of His body doing what they were commanded to do...love your neighbor. Even if he's a bum like me.

I never imagined I could be as close again as I was with the church family I grew up with twenty years before walking through those doors on that Sunday morning. Again...I was wrong. I still love and cherish every single person from my first church. Many have been promoted to Glory, and I celebrate for them.  My new church family is just as precious to me. As I sit at my laptop typing the last bit of this post with tears flowing down both cheeks...I thank God with ever fiber of my being for blessing me so greatly with the new church family He did, and for the new beginning He gave me that painful Sunday for just taking a single step in obedience. 

May all my efforts be in service to Him and may He receive all the honor and glory for it all.

Blogging friends are real friends too...

I posted this almost a year ago on Tony C Today. When I started thinking about our subject matter this week, this post immediately came to mind...and holds true today. God has blessed me beyond what I could have ever imagined with the connections I've made with other Christians literally around the world. For me, it's not so much about sharing my insignificant story as it is sharing what God has done in my life to use me for His glory. I'm both humbled and empowered. Like many of you, I blog to shine His light of love through my life...hopefully.

As you read the post from last November, know that I would truly love to add your name to the list of blogging friends. Besides...talking about Jesus is pretty cool.

(November 2009)

I don't typically post on Saturday, but the teenager's gone and mom and little one are into an afternoon siesta...so I've got a moment or so to enjoy to myself...well...with you.

I started writing a post every Friday over on Kingdom Bloggers which I really love. There are three of us currently writing for the blog, and we mutually decide on a topic for the week and write from a personal perspective. David Johndrow from Fire and Grace and Dave Tvedt for Woe is Me are my co-contributors. Both of these guys are serious about their relationship with God and take the verse about pray without ceasing to heart.

You've got to take time to visit Matt at The Church of No People. He has a fresh outlook on what it is to be a Christian in the world today. I honestly find myself laughing out loud and saying 'that's right' when I read his blog. The same goes for Kathy at Hey look, a chicken!, who also contributes on Fellowship of the Travelling Smartypants, and Bud at Bud Beverly.

Maybe surprisingly to some of you, I follow several blogs geared for the fairer sex. Leigh Ann at Lulaville is a complete riot, and I enjoy reading about Shauna at Blah Blah Blog who has a very touching family story that proves all does happen for the glory of God. A couple of new follows are Bridget at Bridget Crumbley and my old friend Michelle at Finding Michelle who is new to blogging but definitely has a knack. Oh...Sherri at Everything in Moderation has given me several kicking good recipes.

I often find inspiration and encouragement from Jennifer at Getting Down with Jesus and Mesha over on HE's the potter, I'm the clay.. MOLD ME. Tracy at Abundant Living leaves some of the best comments...along with NC Sue from IN HIM WE LIVE AND MOVE AND HAVE OUR BEING. No way I can forget the Burkulater at It's Time for the Burkulater or Nadia at narrow path home.

Misty Rice, who blogs at Wind Beneath My Wings, is great to follow. Her and Laretha at Beauty Unveiled have visually pleasing pages that also contain heart-felt, quality substance.

There are a number of you I read...but you don't post very often (Derek, Chris T, Dave, Luke, Julie, Lori, BethAnne just to name a few). I wish you wrote more because you each have great stories.

There are also way more of you that read and rarely, if ever, comment...unless I run into you at the grocery store. Most of you don't write blogs and just follow. I'm very thankful for each of you that take a moment or two to read the thoughts of a rambling writer with a passion for what God has done and will do in his life.

I ask you to take just a moment more and think about this...I don't personally know any of the people I've mention with only a few exceptions. Yet, I feel a connection with each and every one. The common denominator is pretty obvious...

I hope you each have a blessed weekend.

The Wardrobe of Forbearance

Do people ever bug you?

I feel guilty about this, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes I find people exasperating!

It's so easy for me to be hurt by my fellow Believers in a local church who I think seem cliquish or unfriendly, or to become annoyed by a sister in Christ with whom I'm working on a project and she is consistently unclear about what we need. It's no wonder that I see the admonition repeatedly in the New Testament for Christ's followers to bear with one another.

One of my favorite Bible passages with regard to this whole issue is Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG):

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Perhaps I like this passage in The Message paraphrase so much because I like clothes. Whenever I'm planning to go someplace, I take a few moments to consider what outfit that I have in my closet is most appropriate for the event. If I'm at an event and realize that I've totally misjudged the situation and am either over, or under, dressed for the occasion, I feel less than comfortable. I really appreciated it when I was at my oldest son, Devon's, college for the weekend of his graduation because his school clearly spelled out if a particular event was to be casual, informal, or formal (they also even defined what each of these meant for both civilians and service personnel).

I think it's cool that God's Word clues me in on the best clothes for life within the body of Believers. That love is THE all-purpose garment. That God's picked out compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline for me to put on. He not only tells me how to dress, but he even fills me in on what my deportment should be - even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.

But what really gets me in this passage is when it says: "Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you." I've messed up a LOT in my life and God has never told me - no more, I've had enough, I'm going to just leave you and forsake you for that one! Instead, He has always forgiven me, cleansed me, and the Holy Spirit continues to work in me so I don't have to continue in my sins.

What about you, do you find it easy to be forgiving and over look the offenses of others in the body of Christ? What do you do when you have someone who really "rubs you the wrong way"?

The Strong Getting Stronger

Even the strongest weight lifters need a spot. Sometimes the spot is precautionary, just for safety, with no effort exerted at all. Other times a spotter merely uses words to encourage the weight lifter. Sometimes words aren't enough and a spotter will use a very soft touch to help get the weight through a sticking point. And then there may be times when a spotter needs to pull the bar off the neck of the weight lifter.

As Christians, there are times in our Walk that we need a spot. There are times in our walk where we need to spot others. Admitting to a need or a weakness is not a lack of Faith. There is no Faith in being a prideful knucklehead. It actually takes more Faith to put trust in another Brother or Sister in Christ than it does to deny or cover up a weakness.

Paul recognized the importance of admitting to his weaknesses. It is a Christian's time of weakness that Jesus can be His strongest. It is when a person's pride is at its smallest that the Compassion of Jesus will be its biggest.

Sometimes Believers find themselves lifting a weight that too heavy or is just not of God. This is when the Body can grow in Love and strength and serve each other by placing greater importance upon other people and their needs. Maybe just a few words are needed to help out someone struggling.  Maybe it is just a little push that gets them through the 'workout'.  Maybe you are the only one that is there to pull the bar off their neck.

Asking for prayer isn'ta sign of weakness. Asking for prayer is a sign strong person wanting to get stronger!

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 

Packing a Heavy Load

I missed last week my turn to contribute on friends. This week, talking about bearing one another’s burdens fits along that same line. I’ll sort of combine the two and hope I don’t get too long with it.

I’ve been blessed with many good friends throughout my life. There are my childhood friends like Barbara who I wrote about here. She’s the best. After all these years she still says I’d do anything for you. And she did! My daughter’s van was stranded in Georgia a few miles from their house. She and her husband went and got the van, had it repaired, paid the repairs and waited for my daughter to come back and get it. Money was tight for them, but friendship was tighter. She helped bear that burden.

I’ve had other friends throughout my life who I knew really prayed for me. They saw my struggles and knew the best thing to do for me was to pray. I come from a traditional Pentecostal background. We have this tradition of altar time. Nothing quite like kneeling at a altar pouring your heart out to God and have someone come beside you putting their arms around and crying with you. While God heard my prayer, it seems when two of you cry together before God, it just helps.

I have two very special friends in my life right now that bear my burdens. One is relatively new in my life and the other goes back to my youth – which was a VERY long time ago.

Both of these friends live far away from me. While I have a few people I’d call friends in South Dakota. Some of that are quite wonderful. There the fellow pastor who I have lunch with – there are some wonderful people from the church where I serve as pulpit fill from time to time. I’ve taken them into my heart and some of them seem to have take me into their hearts as well.

Then there is my coffee buddy and dear friend. We meet at McDonalds even though it’s not my favorite and chat for hours, literally hours. She listened with a deep loving heart to my angst and pain about living in South Dakota. Sometimes I have friends who are overly positive but I guess they are good because they balance out my sometimes negativity – she’s one of those friends. She certainly has born a lot of my burdens.

Then there is a new friends, young, passionate about causes and so much like me in her ideas and thoughts. I want to have more time with her but we both are busy. It seems odd to have a friend who is young enough to be your daughter. She challenges me to like where I live and invest in this community. She’s right. This friend says there are burdens we can bear together here in South Dakota and challenges me to join her.

But these other two long distance friends are extra special when it comes to helping bear my burdens. One lives in Connecticut. We met by divine appointment I believe. She’s prayed with me and held me as I cried many times. One time she arranged for a few of her prayer partners to minister to me and pray for me when I still lived in Connecticut. The day was so powerful that I will never forget as I heard that God wanted me. That I was planned from the start. Oh, I knew those things in my head, but my heart didn’t know. That day my heart knew.

Now we live far away from each other and we email. It is always with great delight I open her emails. She shares her heart with me. She shares her struggles in life. I share mine. We try to encourage each other but I think more than that we just care and listen to each other with no judgment. That’s a gift.

Then there is a new old friend. We went to high school together but didn’t know each other. We became friends when I was a single mother trying to raise three small children and go to school. My abusive husband had recently abandoned me. I lived on welfare and food stamps. I lived in a trailer. I was a needy friend in so many ways. Talk about burdens to bear!

She and her roommate helped bear my burdens with love and friendship along with tangible things – like food and a telephone. Imagine living in a trailer in a not so great trailer court with three small children and have no telephone. One day, this friend told me that she and her roommate had decided to pay for a telephone. I’ve never forgotten how I felt that day. No more pay phones.

I lost touch with this friend for probably 30 years. I never forgot her but I never knew where she was either. Recently, thanks to the internet we’ve reconnected. I may not need a telephone any more or some of the other tangible things I needed back then. Now, I need loving support and prayer. My burden is loneliness and depression. Just as she swung into action to get a telephone for me, she has swung into action to pray, listen, and care. She’s bearing this burden now.

I hope that there are people who say these things about me – that I help bear their burdens. I want to pay it back or pay it forward or something. Whose burden can you bear?

You just never know who's paying attention...

Can you think of a story from your past that involves a friend who left a lasting, positive impression just because of who they were? You probably thought of several, like me. A story came to mind today that happened while I was in college (a long time ago). My freshman year, I lived on an upper-classman floor of a dorm due to overcrowding. It was an uninviting situation at first, but I quickly adapted and started making friends within a few days due in large part to one of my new friends named Marlin, a true Southern gentleman from Alabama. He must have been from a pretty influential family, since they shared the same last name as the county where he lived. Marlin was about as laid back as a person comes, especially for a business major. His demeanor was deceptive and made Marlin seem less sophisticated than he was actually. Looking back, I believe his humility played a big part in his popularity. Marlin was just a good person, and it showed not only in his attitude but also in his actions.

Now to the story. Marlin owned one of 'the cars' of the time, a 1979 Firebird Trans Am. That's right old timers…right out of Smokey and the Bandit fame. Unfortunately, he had a minor accident that had disfigured the classic car's signature hood decal. Not to be discouraged, Marlin completed most of the car's body repairs himself over a couple of weeks, and then he had a beautiful paint job done on the car that restored the Trans Am to near mint condition…except for one detail. The firebird emblem that made the difference between another nice muscle car and 'the car to have' was still missing. Marlin's plan to fix this was sound. He purchased the decalcomania through a mail-order catalog, saving nearly a hundred dollars (keep in mind college students are always broke), and he would put the decal on himself with help from his friends. I need to insert an important detail at this point. You see, Marlin may have come from a family with money, but he had worked in a rock quarry for several years to pay for the car and his education. It was important to Marlin that he did his own part.

The day came that the famous foul was to reclaim its distinguished place on the hood. For those of you too young to remember the distinctive decor, the decal nearly covered the entire hood, which greatly added to its 'way cool' appeal. Several of Marlin's friends went along to help with the task. First, we washed the car and dried it. Then Marlin applied a special solution (okay, rubbing alcohol) to prepare the hood. Moving to a shady spot, he carefully unfolded the decal, meticulously marked the location of each wing tip, and then double-checked everything again. At this point, we are at least two hours into the process. Next came the point of no return. While two people held the decal taut, Marlin removed the stickers backing. In order to do this, the decal was lying face down on the hood making it necessary to flip the whole thing over once the backing was off. As the flip occurs, just enough wind starts to wrinkle the decal sending Marlin into an uncharacteristic panic, and his attempt to stabilize from beneath the giant sticker cause the whole thing to fold in on itself…you guessed it, sticky sides together.

For the first and only time in the three years that I knew Marlin, I heard him utter a single profanity.

Marlin didn't curse, even though he lived in a men's dorm full of guys who did. But, I certainly didn't think any less of Marlin that day, not in the least. He lived a Christian lifestyle each and every day while staying one of the guys. He didn't drink, do drugs, tell dirty jokes or give in to any of the negative peer pressures that high school and college kids face. And, he was still a great guy. We really rode Marlin hard about the whole incident, but he took it in stride as he did everything else. I think the fact that such a big deal was made about his slip of the tongue bothered him way more than the $77.48 wad of sticky mess he now owned. The whole incident spoke to his true character. Marlin was a representative of his savior, Jesus Christ. Was he perfect? He never claimed to be, but he followed the example in his daily life of someone who is perfect. Marlin made everyone around him…well…just better people.

Christians slip up too. We all fall short of God's glory. When you do make a mistake, don't dwell so much on the mistake, but how you handle yourself after the mistake. Ultimately, that's what people are going to remember and be influence by for the glory of God.

Marlin was an excellent influence on me. I sure miss my friend from Alabama...

The blessing of Being and Having

I think one of the greatest blessings of God in my life is to both get to be and to have friends.

When it comes to being a friend, I think about the apostle Paul. I never cease to be amazed at the level of love and intimacy present when I read the apostle Paul’s words in passages like 2 Timothy 1:3-4, Philippians 1:1-9, 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3, 2 Thessalonians 1:3-4, Ephesians 1:16, and 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.. Paul's life was all about loving, hanging out with, praying for, and investing his life into people. I see a depth of love here that goes way beyond what frequently passes for friendship in our culture.

As I've read, and re-read, Bible passages like these over the years I'm challenged to live a different kind of lifestyle. One where people count way more than possessions, homes, or cars. A life style where my own needs, shyness, social anxiety, and comfort level are not what it's all about. A life style that's about cultivating an ability to hear God's voice and see people the way He does, to really hear what's going on with someone else, and to be constantly reaching out. More and more as time goes by, this is the life I'm seeking.

I've been thinking about this since I knew we were writing about friendship this week. I've been thinking about how to be a friend. Then yesterday I had the opportunity to go visit a close friend of mine from where I used to live; and I received the blessing of having a friend.

This friend, Paula, only lives about a 1 1/2 hour drive from me, but we don't get to see each other all that often. There's few things in life that can compare to spending time with a good friend. To have someone with whom I can totally be myself and just say whatever I want because she already knows me and loves me anyway. Someone who I find interesting and we can enjoy the same things - like a 2 hour walk on the beach while talking, talking and talking some more. Then it was extra wonderful because she loves to cook and she made dinner and invited two other friends, Carol and Olga, who I rarely get to see anymore, to share dinner with us. For me, I felt like I was basking in their presence, it just felt so good to be together with them again. These are people who we have history together, and, because of this history, when we share something that's currently happening in our lives, we all have a full appreciation because we know the background. These are women who I've seen God work so mightily in their lives and when I'm looking at them, I feel such immense joy just knowing the wondrous things God has done for them. These are women who I know the painful stuff that's in their lives and I sincerely care, and have invested hours in tears and prayers for, and who we're still believing together for God to work in some specific situations.

As I'm here thinking about friendship the predominant feeling I have is gratitude. Gratitude that God has blessed me with such wonderful friends. Gratitude that He lets me be a friend to others.

What about you, what comes to your mind when you think about friendship?

Iron Men

I have been walking in my Faith since 1995 after Jesus saved me from myself and my alcoholism. I quickly became involved with the church where I was baptized in water and Spirit. It was awesome to learn about Jesus and to be a part of a group of Spirit filled believers.
It was at this church in Iowa City that I met a handful of guys that have blessed me to this day.
Larry, Jim, Ray, Chuck and Mike have all been instrumental in my Faith.

Larry is my Spiritual dad and mentored me for a year almost immediately. It was with Larry that I learned a real man of Faith does not have all the answers and will be honest enough to tell me so. I also learned to receive compassion and Grace as Larry and I met regularly to pray for each other and to hold each other accountable in our Faith.

Jim is a man that once you meet him, you will never forget him. Built like a tank, with a commanding voice and an awesome mind. When Jim quoted Scripture, it seemed to me that he was scanning the Bible in his mind searching for a verse. It was like he was speed reading each column and flipping the pages until he found the passage he was looking for. Jim has Faith that is beyond anything I have walked in. This man has grabbed a hold of Jesus and has hung on with everything he has, even when he was the only person that believed in himself.

Ray is my Spiritual big brother and just as a big brother will bring correction and 'show affection' with rough words or actions, Ray did the same in the Spirit. He has beat me up plenty of times with his version of encouragement, not because he was mean spirited but that's what was needed at the time. He always encouraged me to look to Jesus, even if it meant he had to pick me up off the ground and grab me by the neck and force me to look up. And just like any big brother he was there to help and to have my back whenever necessary. Spiritually, Ray knew when to put his arm around my shoulder and to say "I love you, Bro!" and when to slug me in the arm and to say "Get over it and get with Jesus!"

Chuck is a big guy who is great to have as a prayer partner but not so great to have as a lifting partner. You see, when lifting weights with Chuck when we would switch sets, we would take off more weight after Chuck's set than I would do for my set. I think Chuck would curl my bench press. Chuck is the first guy that I got together to pray with. We would go down to the University of Iowa and prayer walk around the campus. I learned a lot about hearing Holy Spirit's voice during these times of prayer.

Mike is a former roommate and an awesome friend. Mike was a great roomie, he was laid back and soft spoken and he never once threatened to demonstrate his 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do on me. He also would randomly pay my half of a utility or treat me to supper at Village Inn as he earned bonuses from work. The times of praying together and discussing the Word were great and I learned a lot about hearing Holy Spirit's voice.

None of us attend that church anymore. All but Chuck has moved out of Iowa City, but I believe that even if we all were still in that area, we wouldn't be attending there anyways. I am not bad mouthing the fellowship, I just believe that each one of us was called to follow Jesus elsewhere.

Whenever I get together or chat with any one of these guys, we wind up talking about the other dudes I have written about. I have been hanging with one Brutha when one of the others would call me. And before every good bye we wind up praying.

There were times where I had lost all contact with one of these guys, yet somehow I would get connected with them after a year or so. There even was a time so weak in my faith that I told Larry I was giving up on Jesus. I never did, because God is bigger than that, but also because I know Larry was praying for me. I don't know if any of my Bruthas could directly recall a time when Holy Spirit lead them to pray for me, but I am pretty sure that it has happened throughout the years.

But what was most important, with each one of these men of Faith, was whenever our paths crossed intentionally or unintentionally, I always, I mean it, every single time I encountered Larry, Jim, Ray, Chuck or Mike, these guys were seeking Jesus. No matter where I was at in my Faith, passionate or bitter, strong or weak, faithful or faithless, when I came into contact with one of these guys I came into a contact with a Righteous man, a man that was wanting more of Jesus.

I am in awe of how God placed these guys in my life back in the mid nineties, but I most in awe of no matter where anyone of these friends were in their Faith, they were still looking for more of Jesus in their life.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17

Softening the Fall - A Real Friend

Friendship is such a vague term in many ways. The Bible often makes a distinction between the shallowness of the world, and the "real deal" from Heaven. For example, happiness is not used in the Bible, but joy is. They are different. The word Tolerance is not in the Bible, but sacrifice is and loving service is. The term friendship, on the other hand, seems to mean any type of relationship from someone that you see at the gas station every few days, to a spouse which you have committed your life to. Heck, it's even a verb now on Facebook!

Last week my friends at Kingdom Bloggers wrote about the vertical relationship with God through prayer. This week they are going to write about the horizontal relationship they have with the people of God. That's what the cross is a symbol of: relationship with God and man.

I have written about friendship many times over at Fire & Grace. I have covered topics from "how many friends do we need," to "what it means to be a friend." I wrote about the "types of friends we can have." I have written about Jesus, the friend that sticks closer than a brother. I even taught friendship to 3 men's group at a church I beleonged to. Interestingly, I didn't pick the topic.

If we look in the Bible we can see many different relationships that one might call a friendship: The Good Samaritan, Paul and Barnabas, Timothy and Paul, and of course, David and Jonathan.

As much as I love my online friends here at Kingdom Bloggers - and I do know a lot about them, their struggles, their joys, their successes, their heart, and in some cases their spouses - I have only met Joyce. Dave and I talk on the phone a lot - we pray a lot too. Tony and I talk once or twice a week in addition to chatting online about everything from the Celtics winning the World Championship over the Lakers this year, to prayer for things we struggle with. I do love these folks. Each week we have a private Facebook message with a few prayer requests, topics for the blog, and some wise cracking.

In life I have had all sorts of friends - levels and depths of friendship - that are too numerous to count. I had neighborhood friends, school friends, family friends, friends of my spouse, people I met on missions, college friends, church friends, work friends, and acquaintances I called friends. My Facebook page is filled with friends from every era of my life; even the virtual one.

I do have real flesh and blood friends. Every few months my family and I get together with Gigi. I have known her since I was in Kindergarten (1964). We reconnected on Facebook, and the rest is good history. I have another friend Scott, we met on a construction site in 1986, and we've been friends over the years and the miles ever since. We see each other every year when his wife runs the Boston Marathon. We have prayed for each other, watched kids be born, grow up, go to college, get married, and have kids. It's a lot of history.

Four years ago, I moved to greater Boston for a job. I had previously lived on Cape Cod, MA for 21 years. That was home - where my friends were. It was also a place where my girls were born, where I failed more than once, was betrayed, was attacked by the Devil, walked the beach, and made the most important friendship outside of my marriage. Instead of telling you what a good friend is, or what the Bible says about friendship, I want to tell you the story of my friend Antonio Carlos. He is my Jonathan, and I am his David.

In 1998 I had a prophetic word about going to the nations - flying here, flying there. It was crazy to me at the time. HERE is how that turned out. One day in 1999 I was at a Salvation Army chapel service. It was me and my family, the pastor and his wife, a man in a wheelchair and a homeless Brazilian gal. The pastor sent his wife down the block to see if there was someone that could interpret for the Brazilian woman so they could help her.

Pastor Mike and I prayed for the man in the wheelchair. My wife took the girls home, and I arranged a ride home with Mike and Carol. She returned with one of the Brazilian pastors from the Baptist Church. He interpreted for the woman, and when he was done we all started to leave.

Then I heard the voice of God. "Pray for him."

"I'm going home Lord." I replied.

I relented, and asked Mike and Carol if I could have a few minutes to pray for the Brazilian Pastor. I approached this man and said, "Could I share a few things with you?"

"Yes, brother." he said in his Portuguese accent.

I prayed for him, and God showed up so powerfully that we were both amazed - surprised even. It was so exciting that I agreed to meet him the next day for lunch. Over the next few weeks he introduced me to lots of folks in his community and also arranged ministry engagements all over southern New England and then Brazil. Wow!

We prayed together, laughed together, confessed our sins to each other, told some off color jokes, ate together, ministered side-by-side as he interpreted for me. It was really amazing! I introduced him to some of my ministry friends, and he was invited to preach, and eventually join an American church as an associate pastor. He took missionaries to Brazil, Columbia and Israel as well leading local outreaches.

When I returned from Brazil in 1999, my ex-wife filed for divorce. I'll skip the gory parts, but there are no winners in a divorce - ever. The church abandon me, and so did most of my friends. My place in the front row seat became a seat in the back row. At my own church, it was suggested that I don't come back until everything was resolved.

Within weeks, I had one Christian friend left - Antonio Carlos.

Eventually I met Mary Anne, and he was the best man at the wedding and is now a long time family friend.

Our relationship is tougher now that I live so far away. He also travels a lot. He has come on some hard times; the church he was at closed, trouble with INS, his dad died in Brazil a few weeks ago, and now he has a citizenship hearing in May of 2011. I spoke to him last night, we are getting together this weekend to enjoy to reminisce, eat sushi, and pray.

The depth of our freindship is best described in the following words. One day as he and I were talking about the crucible I had been through. (He was in Brazil for the worst part of it.) I asked him, "Where was Jonathan when David fell?" He said, "I was in Brazil, but I am here now."