What's God's up to?

When I read scriptures like Psalm 139:13-16, Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Corinthians 12:4-27 and Ephesians 2:8-10, it's clear that God creates us as we are, and gifts us to be used in His work.

For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to help people. Be it a kid in my class at school that others picked on, an old person in a convalescent home that never received visitors, hungry children in a third world country, or even someone whose story I'd hear on the news. My heart has always ached when I hear of someone's pain, and I've had an intense desire to do something to make it better.

That's why I went into the kind of work that I do. Since 1980, I've always worked in some kind of human services job. I'm drawn to the disenfranchised.

Also I've always been especially interested in helping women. I don't know if it's as simple as the fact that since I'm a woman I'm more inclined to understand women. Or if it's because I was born in 1960 and grew up under the influence of the women's movement. Maybe it's because of the fact that if you look throughout history, all over the globe, you'll be hard pressed to find anyone more universally oppressed than women.

So when I thought about this week's topic of what would be our dream, or ideal, ministry I was a bit stumped. Initially I thought about how there are hurting people everywhere and God's repeatedly provided me with jobs, and ministry opportunities through local churches where I've lived, to reach out in ways that He created my heart to desire. Then I thought about the word "ideal" or "dream" opportunity some more and thought how cool it would be if I had the freedom to openly share the gospel as as well? What would it be like if I daily got to lead hurting people to Christ and then help them individually grow in Him? That would be over the top exciting! Those few times in my life when I've had the opportunity to help someone who was new in her faith to learn and grow have been among the most rewarding endeavors I've ever experienced.

I'm grateful that in my current church I have the opportunity to serve yet, to be candid, it's super rare that I ever get to work in this context with a new Believer, or to invest in a person, one on one, like I get to invest in my supervisors at work. So, if we're dreaming here, that's what would really do it for me.

Yet, I know God is in control of all things. So I choose to try to remain open to Him and sensitive to what He wants me to do each day. I also choose to trust Him that if I "miss it", that He is more than capable of showing me the error of my ways and getting me back on His path. I choose to stand firm in the knowledge (even when I'm as confused as I've been in my job situation and frustrations that I've shared about for the past couple of years) that He does have a plan for my life and it's His plan that I want more than anything else!