Thursday, March 31, 2011

The passion of the flame within

Thinking about this whole topic of heart's desires this week has reminded me of a Proverb that I've often thought on from Proverbs 13:12 (NIV):

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Like everyone else, I've had those experiences where I've really wanted something and not gotten it. Experienced the deep disappointment and frustration.

But I've also been blessed many times over through the course of my life by God giving me the desires of my heart. Between those times of receiving and those times of not receiving I've noticed that same pattern that David talked about in his post on Monday; when I've sought after what God wanted for me, I've received it. Seems to me that if I want to approach this whole thing strategically, that what I need to do is look for what God is doing and join in His work.

But all of life is not a game of strategy. I'm a typical woman in that I'm heart motivated. So I guess for me I need to seek to let the Holy Spirit till the ground of my heart so that my motivations can be His. As of now the practical ways that I know to do my part in this process are to spend time in the Word, mediating on it and to be in constant communication with God. Also to be open as the Holy Spirit uses life situations to make changes in me; to cooperate in that process rather than fight it.

Some of the basic heart desires that God's so graciously blessed me in are my husband and sons. A big part of my whole motivation in life is to be a good wife and mother; sounds simplistic but we all know that it's anything but easy. Yet God in His goodness has blessed me over and over in these relationships. Teaches me daily how to more loving and effective.

Another heart's desire that I've had since my teen years has been to work in a capacity that makes a fundamental difference in the lives of people. God has blessed that desire as well. He's blessed me with letting me work with problem youths, brain injured people, developmentally disabled people, and mentally ill people at various jobs through the years. Sometimes I've worked in a direct care capacity, sometimes I've been a line supervisor, and sometimes I've (at least theoretically) run the show. But in all those capacities I got to spend my work time investing in people and making a difference. A couple of weeks ago I was at a job interview where the man commented on how impacted he was during the interview by my passion for my work, that he was attracted to that passion and found it gratifying to encounter. Isn't it like that when God puts us right where our heart is at? When we get to do what makes our heart well up within us? God is so good!

But, a side note here, even in the blessing of God there is so much I do not understand. A perfect example is that very same interview. That interview went super well, they both said how much they liked me and that I would be invited back for the second round of interviews, and it's now been two weeks and I've heard nothing. The point I want to make through this life example is that I don't have the big picture. None of us do. But God does, and at this point in my life I'm grateful that I can rest in Him, know that His will really is best.


Anonymous said...

Tracy - This post resonated with my heart as I think of longings lost and longings granted, of the sickness of heart and the flourishing tree of life.

I jumped off your post and wrote about something similar today in a little project I am working on called There and Back Again, in which I visit other High Calling blogs and then go back and write about them. I have linked up to this post and hope many of my readers will come here to be encouraged by you as well.

It was great to meet you and this gang of five here at Kingdom Bloggers. I'll be back again!

Sincerity said...

Tracy: I'm with you on this one. Sometimes when I look at all my friends who have everything they wanted, so they tell me, and I seem to stay in the same place I tend to question God.

He is so patient with me and instead of being angry he just takes all the pain I dump on Him and turns it into peace and patience.

Romans 8:28 comes to mind. He has a plan for each of us and sometimes waiting on His timing is more than we feel we can bare. But He is faithful and will never forget about us. :)