Monday, July 12, 2010

Stuff Christian Don't Like to Talk About - Yes, That!

There are lots of "rules" in the Bible pertaining to sex. There, I said it: sex. One of the body's strongest natural desires is that for reproduction. We call it: making love, sex, "that" and a few other things. Along with our desire to stay alive, and eat, it is up there at the top of the list.The Bible doesn't make too many distinctions about eating - it's not like  we put it off until some day in the future.I don't believe it says anything about keeping our desire to stay alive in check - so what's the deal with sex?

This week the topic is sex and faith - thanks Tracy - I haven't been this uncomfortable around church folks for a long time!

I have heard a little teaching about sex in the church. Wait 'til you're married, and don't have it with yourself. Now that I have passed that one - I think I am done.

All kidding aside, there has been little good teaching in the church regarding sex. It more often falls on the list of don'ts unless you are married. Occasionally someone will give a few reasons why not, and the purpose of reproduction is clouded by "the enjoyment of sex, and "it's my body" and other Hollywood type pressure - as if they've got it all together!

Look, sex is great and it feels good - and it gets all mixed up with love, and feelings and stuff like that. As Christians we do not rely on feelings to know how to act. I never really understood that like I do now. Feelings aren't facts. In truth, abstinence protects us from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Even if those weren't consequences, it still would be against the "rules" unless you are married - but how to we connect with God, and enjoy something which is so obviously abused.

The truth is that sex, is, and should be part of the marriage experience. It is designed to be one facet of marital intimacy - the other two emotional and spiritual. And truthfully, it doesn't fit well in other places.

I was on vacation last week, and there was a 6-year-old flipping out at pool-side. My older girls both said they were never having kids after witnessing the event. I was thinking the same thing, but it's too late for that. So I wished children on them to the extent at which they have cost me discomfort as a parent. Somehow, the world seems to leave sex disconnected from reproduction. It appears to be one place we get into trouble.

The good marriage, is like a good church. You feel safe in being vulnerable, and transparent.

There are all sorts of issues with sex outside of marriage that are damaging to both parties. These are covered in Galatians 5, in the 10 commandments, and may other places in the Bible.

For me, I am very glad that I am married and don't have to manage my desires.

How about you, is the Bible realistic about sex, and how do you manage?


Tony C said...

I'm soooooo glad I post on Friday. That's a tough lead Johndrow...but you tackled it well.

Tracy said...

Great post David.

This is a difficult topic but I'm glad we're writing about sex. As Christians, we let the world talk way too much about sex while we're way too silent.

In answer to your question - is the Bible realistic about sex, and how do you manage?
While I find western Christianity exceedingly unrealistic about sex, I find the Bible exceedingly realistic. One of the things I love about the Bible is that it is so honest. It it's pages I see lots of sex; in it's beauty (Song of Solomon and the references in the NT about one our bodies belonging to each other in marriage) and in it's perversions (Lot's daughters having sex with him, David with Bathsheba, rapes, etc.). The Bible shows sex to be a part of life. The apostle Paul was really clear in 1 Cor. 7:6 that not everyone has the gift of singleness; which I take in part to mean that most of us are meant to be married and need to have sex on a routine basis.

As to how I manage, it's easier since I'm married. But I do encourage my sons in truth and to make wise decisions. And I was totally supportive of my oldest son getting married at what, in our current world, many would consider young (age 22).

David-FireAndGrace said...

@Tracy - we don't need statistics - we need God and personal commitment.