Working at the Fruit Stand - What God Won't Ask

Christians enjoy talking about fruit like they are spiritual vegans!  Some Christians use the word "good person" like God is Santa Clause checking his list to see who's naughty and or nice. Various emotional muggings take place in churches where there are guilt trips, redemptive works, or required religious ceremonies for salvation.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

This week your dynamic Kingdom Bloggers are going to be writing about faith, works and the fruit of the Spirit.

True freedom is in salvation through Jesus Christ. I suppose that it is easy to lay back once we have our ticket to paradise. Many do. Others seem to grasp grace as a license to do whatever they want to. Like the spoiled child with diplomatic immunity, they feel as if they can disregard the laws of the "land." And then there are others that feel obligated to follow certain rules and traditions while their heart is far from God.

It's easy to think that maybe we should do something to earn God's love. I have heard lots of folks that feel as if the church will fall down when they show up. As if any of us could get clean enough or be presentable to God on our own.

Without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Galatians 5:19-25 talks about what is the fruit of salvation. The analogy of fruit simply means that it is something that grows from the plants DNA. It is the natural process by which many plants show their beauty, and provide food for many. That is the true nature of God.

When I was in the Caribbean, I had a taxi driver stop to let me pick an avocado. I have never had a tastier one. If we look around us, it is easy to see others who may have more anointing, or gifting in their lives than we do. I am not talking about talent or charisma, but the ability to see Jesus as we observe their lives. This is fruit. What do others see when they observe our lives?

This is a hard topic to give a testimony about. If I toot my own horn about how much fruit my walk with Jesus shows, than I am being not so humble. I did receive this email that other day - see how you measure up to the fruit of the Kingdom. Truthfully, I didn't do so good.


What God Won't Ask
By: Author Unknown

God won't ask what kind of car you drove.
He will ask how many people you took places they needed to go..

God won't ask the square footage of your home.
He will ask how many people you took into your home.

God won't ask how many fancy clothes you had in your closet.
He will ask how many of those clothes you gave away to Salvation Army.

God won't ask what social class you were in.
He will ask if you preferred others over yourself..

God won't ask how many material possessions you had.
He will ask whether those material possessions dictated your life.

God won't ask what your highest salary was.
He will ask if you trampled over any people to obtain that salary.

God won't ask how much overtime you worked.
He will ask did you work overtime for your family.

God won't ask how many promotions you received.
He will ask what you did to promote others.

God won't ask what your job title was.
He will ask did you perform your job to the best of your ability.

God won't ask how many promotions you took to chase the dollar bill.
He will ask how many promotions you refused to advance your family's quality of life.

God won't ask how many times you didn't run around around on your spouse.
He will ask how many times you did.

God won't ask how many degrees you have.
He will ask how many people you thanked for getting those degrees.

God won't ask what your parents did to help you.
He will ask what you did to help your parents.

God won't ask what you did to help yourself.
He will ask what you did to help others.

God won't ask how many friends you had.
He will ask how many people you were a friend to.

God won't ask what you did to protect your rights.
He will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.

God won't ask what neighborhood you lived in.
He will ask what other neighborhoods you visited.

God won't ask how many times you told the truth.
He will ask how many times you told a lie.

God won't ask about the color of your skin.
He will ask about the color of your heart.

God won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words.
He will ask how many times they didn't.

God ordinarily will not show you His will in order for you to consider it.
He will show you His will when He knows you are willing to do it.

People volunteer for the dumbest things...including Hell.

Some people wonder what it must be like to have freedom taken away. That's all they can do is wonder. These people are the ones who often joke about the confining conditions of being married or having young kids. Also coming from this group are the ones who think people in jail have it too easy. Being incarcerated in this country is an easy way out, and that's why the returning rate for convicts is close to 70 percent.

Some people flippantly say things like 'What would I ever do without my cell phone?' or 'I'd die without the internet!' Also coming from this group are the people who are absolutely lost when the power goes off at their house for a few hours during 'prime time.' They wander through the house looking for candles and flipping light switches as they move from room to room in a futile gesture of habit.

Some people have never known a life of even slight inconveniences like living in the outdoors with no indoor plumbing, being thousands of miles from loved ones with no idea what is happening with them and no means of contacting them, or spending hour after hour in solitude filled with deep longing for genuine companionship on any level.

There are two classes of people who understand all of these things all too intimately, and both are completely by choice. Those who are in our armed forces make sacrifices most people could never relate to or even imagine. Often living with the constant stress of looming dangers, the men and women of our armed forces know inconvenience. Eat what you're given, wear what you're issued, and sleep when you can. It's a life that at times is fast and hard yet swallowed by what seems like endlessly hours of waiting...anticipating.

The other class are our convicts. Walled off from society for a gambit of reasons and intentions too vast to comprehend. Isolated and completely at the mercy of a bureaucratic system bloated with incompetence and apathy. Eat what you're given, wear what you're issued, and sleep until your brain is nothing but a mushy goo. Rehabilitation is just a fancy governmental scapegoat word destined to fail for the vast majority because it can't account for, or help alter, desires of the heart. Only God can do that...and our government is far from God and picking up speed.

Veterans and inmates are two classes of our society that appreciate freedom like no other. Both understand and revel in the smallest things in daily life most take completely for granted. Neither class is made up entirely of the stereotypical traits commonly attributed to their respective populations. Jails are full of good people and military ranks are scattered with bad apples. We tend to paint with broad strokes in our society. Just ask anyone who regularly attends church services who are often pelted unfairly with the hypocrite stones.

Personal freedom is, however, a very tangible commodity and today, more than ever, a true gift...one paid at a price. But having the knowledge that we are free from a finite existence or even worse the infinity of damnation...that truly defines what it is to be free. Breathing the air in that place is most sweet and fills the soul with joy and peace. It's a freedom that can also be known to the veteran as well as the inmate...or by any other grouping or classification we choose to create as human beings.

I will celebrate my freedom this weekend with fireworks, grilled foods and a parade. My heart will swell with pride at being a citizen in the greatest nation on our planet. I will salute our service men and women and pray for our inmates because I know the sacrifices both face. I know because I've been both. While I'm proud of one and humiliated by the other...I'm much wiser for both.

Having said that and fully knowing the sacrifice implied, I would rather spend the rest of my natural life locked in the deepest, darkest hole ever found and still have my personal relationship with Christ than spend a single minute without the freedom He gives me and walk around completely unencumbered.

That is what I am most thankful for this holiday weekend...well, and every other day of the year for that matter.

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope

With 4th of July celebrations just a few days away, many of us find ourselves thinking about Freedom. That's why we're talking about Freedom this week at Kingdom Bloggers. David had asked me to also share my testimony this week.

I think one of the biggest ways that being a Christian has made me free is that even in the midst of difficult circumstances, I can experience peace and joy. Part of Freedom in Christ for me is the fact that God takes circumstances that look like ruination, and instead brings about redemption. God turns the effects from those difficult events into something good in my life.

Like most people, I haven't had a perfect life.

I was the third of three daughters, born to my poor father who knew exceptionally little about females. Both of my older sisters were huge handfuls, causing lots of intense problems all the time for my parents. Without even thinking about it, my solution was to be the perfect child, the one who would not add any more pain to my parents' full plates and who would never cause problems. One of the lies of my childhood was that in my own mind, it was somehow up to me to make things right. What I became was invisible. Those feelings of needing to be good enough to make things right, and of being invisible, have been repeat themes in my life.

I’ve often thought about the fact that the Bible is quite clear that when we accept Christ we are new creations, but my experience and observations are that while we have new spirits, we still have the same soul. If my favorite color was green before I accepted Christ, it still is after. If I had emotional baggage before I accepted Christ, usually that baggage doesn’t just disappear after I accept Christ.

The difference after a person accepts Christ is that now the person don’t have to deal with that baggage alone. I can look back at my life and see how God chose to work in my life through His Holy Spirit within me, through the Bible, through people, and through experiences to bring healing, wholeness and even freedom in my life. But that freedom did not come over night, it’s been a process.

I’ve also come to believe that God never wastes any experiences. I’m not saying by any means that everything that happens is His will, because both other people and myself can choose to disobey Him and hurt others, the world is imperfect and bad stuff does happen. But I am saying that God even uses bad events to bring about good things in our lives.

Although growing up in a chaotic household where I felt invisible wasn’t exactly fun, I know God has used it to make me the person I am today. Perhaps because of my very need to be perfect and not a bother; I was often forgotten. My mother even forgot to pick me up from school several times throughout my elementary school years. But I’ve noticed that very experience has made me someone who notices people. If I’ve met you even one time, I’ll remember you. God has used me repeatedly in my adult life to minister to the hearts of people, to have God make people feel loved and valuable through me.

One of the good things about my early years was that my family regularly attended church. I never doubted the existence of the God they taught me about at church; for me He was a fact of life. As I aged, my understanding of God increased. By the time I was in 5th grade I came to understand that I was not perfect (even though I tried really hard), that I sinned, and that my sin separated me from God. I realized that sin requires a payment and that either I could pay for it myself or accept Jesus' death on the cross as payment for my sin. So I chose to accept Jesus' payment and to commit to living my life following after Him.

Another one of the blessings God brought into my life was a group called Campus Crusade for Christ. By the time I was a teen I was having ambivalent feelings about church. I was frequently enthralled by the Sunday morning sermons, and adored getting to sing with others of like faith, but did not particularly enjoy the youth group. It seemed to me that the kids in the youth group were no more interested in spiritual things than their secular counterparts at my local high school. So I felt alone in my faith, that there wasn’t anyone I could talk with when I was excited about something God had shown me in the Word or a struggle I was encountering. But then one day this nice girl who I kind of knew at school invited me to a Bible study at some people’s house who I did not know. In fact, she invited me several times when I did not attend in response to the first invitation. But I’ll never forget that day when I finally did go in response to her sweet invitations. Talk about the blessings of God – I was ecstatic to find other teen agers who loved Jesus, who delighted in the Bible, and who wanted to hang out and share about their faith. I remember feeling like I didn’t want that evening to end, like I’d finally come home.

That particular Bible Study was put on through Campus Crusade for Christ. As I sought out more activities that they sponsored locally, and began attending them, I encountered a woman in her late 20s named Linda. Looking back on it I can see how God used Linda to supply some of what I didn’t receive at home. Linda really saw me, to Linda I was not invisible. She invested in me and helped me begin to see that I was a person of value to God, she helped me learn how to share the gospel and be used by God to bring others come into His Kingdom, how to share a 3-minute version of my testimony in public gatherings, how to plan outreach events, how to lead Bible studies, and how to invest into others as she was investing in me.

By the time I graduated high school I wanted to do more for God. I wanted to separate for God, to be holy and His so He could use me. So I decided to go to a Christian college. The president of the college I chose is a renowned Christian. I’ve seen God bless His preaching to bring many into the Kingdom. He is brilliant when it comes to Bible exegesis. But, still, to this day, when I listen to this man preach, I don’t feel like he really likes me or other sinners. I never feel good enough around people like him. To me it feels like the love is missing. I do not say this to be critical of the man, but more to underscore how this type of Christian culture fit right into my sick need to be perfect. I’d managed, out of all the fine Christian higher learning institutions, to pick one of them that fit me in a bad way. I could continue to pursue an unrealistic goal of perfection and continue to never feel good enough. I could continue to feel like I could never get it right.

One of the memories from that Christian college that really stands out, was when I had to go before a review board. The review board was comprised of students but sponsored and attended by a specific faculty member. The reason I had to go before that board was because I kept missing the night time curfew. I felt like there I was not measuring up, and for some reason that I failed to understand at the time, I also felt angry. As an adult looking back at the whole thing, I just feel sad. Sad and concerned; concerned that the faculty advisor would let things go how they did. No one ever cared enough to try to find out why I kept missing curfew. When I tried to explain, they brushed my explanations aside and told me that following rules that were set by those in authority honored God. As an adult, I can see how the reason why I kept missing curfew was totally important. I missed curfew because of my work schedule and transportation problems. Even though I was a scholarship student, and my parents helped out, like many college students I still needed to work part time. The closest job I could find to campus was at a fast food restaurant where I had the late shift and closed at night. That job still would have allowed me to make the curfew except that, since there were not any buses locally at that time of night, I had to walk the few miles back to campus housing. As an adult I’m horrified to think of an 18 year old woman walking alone in that area at that time of night. I’m appalled that none of those other Christian students on that review board offered to help me; to work with me to allow me to pay them and they provide me with a ride back to campus so that I could not only make the curfew but remain safe. Unfortunately, none of that happened. Instead I got off with a warning that I must come into compliance with the rules. Yet God used that experience in my life to put a fire within me to be merciful, to always realize that things may not be as they appear.

After a couple of years I left that Christian college and finished up my degree at a University of California. I enjoyed my time there, but I still lived a life of striving. I still never felt good enough. I still felt like it was up to me to be the fixer.

I fixed myself into and out of an alcoholic marriage. My first husband loved God and wanted to be a pastor, but never really put corresponding action to those desires. He started drinking again and things went from what I’d call “normal dysfunctional” to chaos as the drinking continued. All my efforts to control his drinking were useless. We were blessed with a son but that only seemed to intensify his drinking. We split up. I did start attending Al-Anon during this time and began to see the roots of my sick perfectionism and began to deal with my need to control. But I was lonely, and couldn’t seem to connect with God to fill my loneliness. My second husband was in a Bible study group that I attended at church. He seemed the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet. He showered me with attention and it felt great. I just couldn’t get enough. Here was someone to whom I was not invisible. Even when we sinned and got pregnant outside of marriage, he stepped up to the plate and persuaded me to marry him. I thought I’d finally got it right.

Until after 2 years of marriage and 2 more sons. As the years passed by the stress of day to day living hit. As he got to really know the real me and was not at all happy with anything I did. He constantly told me how I didn’t measure up and I constantly believed him. I just kept trying and trying to be good enough and never made it. He was on his second extramarital affair before I finally caught on to what was happening. But, being the product of my background, I felt like it was all my fault. So my response was to work even harder at trying to be a good wife; I thought that if I could just get it right he would love me. I never got it “right”. He left me for the other woman. Or perhaps he just left me because it wasn’t working for him; that’s the reason he gave.

I was devastated. I’d failed twice at marriage!! Not only was I not perfect, but I wasn’t even in the ball park of OK. To say I was discouraged at this point in my life would be an understatement of extreme proportions. As I look back on this time in my life I’m reminded of the beginning of Jesus’ sermon on the mount that’s recorded in Matthew 5:3 (MSG):

“You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.”

Because I couldn’t pretend any longer that I could fix the world and make everything right, because the illusion of my control was finally shattered, I finally let go. I stopped trying to control everything simply because I was out of ideas as to how. I reached out to God as never before because there was no where else that I knew to turn.

Then God worked. He blessed me with my job coming to me and offering significantly more money to move. He supplied my sons and I a great place to live. He got my sons into really good schools in our new area. He gave us a church where the boys would be blessed and taught and where I eventually made some of the best friends of my life. He met our financial needs time after time during the next few years. He grew my skills and self confidence through my job. He showered a peace on me through all the tough times during those years, that went beyond anything I could ever imagine.

After several years, God even surprised me by bringing me a man who loved Him and was capable of loving me. I’d assumed that it was definitely a two strikes and you’re out kind of situation. But there was God taking the pieces of my life that I’d messed up, and building them into something good.

After re-marriage we moved. Once again I had to make new friends, start working at a new location. The company I’d worked for during the past 9 years even let me go. But, because of all that I’d seen God bring me through in the past, even though I was hurt and bewildered, I knew I could count on Him. I’ve experienced more of God’s mercy, grace, and love than ever before in my life.

As I’ve stopped trying to be good enough, and just received His mercy and forgiveness for my sin, my inadequacy, I’ve become free. Free of the burden of doing things right all the time. Free to just focus on doing the next thing God puts in front of me through the power of His Spirit.

What about you, what’s God set you free from?

Rebellion Is Not Freedom

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

2 Corinthians 3.17

When I am obedient, I have the most freedom.  When I listen and do what Holy Spirit leads, life goes a lot smoother. For years, I had the view of God as a quick to anger, hard to please Dad.  So there were many times I just did what I thought was best and asked Jesus to bless what I had going on.  And on those few occasions when I did 'wait' on God, I looked for or even created the confirmation I needed so I could still get my way.

Eventually, this sorta faith failed me too many times.  I wanted to stop learning things the hard way.  I was sick of repeating the same mistakes over and over, in private and in public.  I was exhausted from my sin that would reveal itself at the most embarrassing times.

Do I still live obediently? Unfortunately, no.  Do I trust God more? Definitely, yes!  It took a few years of abusing the Grace that had been given to me and dealing with the consequences of my selfishness and stupidity.  After a few years of justifying my disobedience as Liberty and surrendering Peace and Joy for fleeting moments of pleasure, I was empty and broken.

I finally realized that rebellion is not Freedom.

So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.  So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.  But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 

1 Peter 1.13-15

Choose this day... freedom or bondage

I am writing this blog from a place I've never been before. I am in a dorm room. No I'm not getting a child into college for summer school. I'm not visiting one of my children on a college campus either. I'm living in the dorm.

Now before you worry that I escaped South Dakota or left my husband, rumors can spread so fast. Let me explain. I am here because I have begun a doctoral program. In three years, with God's help, grace and a lot of hard work, I will be Dr. Joyce A. Lighari. I've even been thinking about changing my name for professional purposes. When I write my book I may want to change not only the names of some of those who are in the book but my own.

It's a strange experience. It's sort of like camp without the pool and free time. No late night campfires where we toast marshmallows and all come to Jesus either. I am in a rather stark dorm room all by myself. I share a bathroom with some one else. Other than that, it's just me. Breakfast at 7 a.m. - short breaks for lunch and supper between classes that start at 8 a.m. and end at 9, 10, or somethings 11 p.m.

So what does this have to do with freedom? Actually it has a lot to do with freedom. I'm not talking about that feeling of freedom that a college student has when they first leave home. I am taking about a freedom to pursue the calling of God on my life.

God has been doing a lot of rearranging in me. I feel a bit like Moses. God sent me to the backside of the desert (South Dakota). Now in my old age, I'm back in school. I'm back in a dorm. I'm being further changed and rearranged so that I can walk in a freedom I've never know before.

As part of this process, we've been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Okay, I know, you must have read it. Just like you, I read it in the 90's too. It sounded good. Doesn't conflict with Biblical principles - doesn't particularly emphasize them as such either... Unfortunately, life got chaotic again for me right after I read it - the bottom of everything fell out. When I picked it up this time, I realized the only thing I clearly remembered was that picture of the woman.

Perhaps because of the all the calamities, chaos and such of my life, I was finally really ready to read this book. You know God uses everything, including Stephen Covey's 7 habits. I'd heard it before but when I read, between stimulus and response there is choice, I think I had an epiphany. Every since then, ever since it got deep down in my spirit, I realized I was free to chose.

Obviously the most important thing in life we ever chose is our response to God. That brings the greatest freedom. However, if we don't exercise our now re-born freewill to chose for ourselves how we are going to react, we are never free. We never know freedom. We destructively follow false Gods and false patterns. We never know the wonderful person God made us to be; we never let Him finish His work in us. We just react to everything. Crisis hits, and we react - we could respond by listening to the voice of God who will tell us what our response should be.

I feel more free than I have in a long time. This Independence Day, I am celebrating my independence from the dictates of other people, their attitudes, their opinions, their judgments and my own false beliefs. I may be too old to live in a dorm, but here I am. I'm older than almost anyone, but I'm here. I had the freedom to chose to live my life for God's glory and service.

We've been asked to write our personal mission statement. I didn't want to... still don't. But as I've thought about it, I discovered that I desire more than anything to have a legacy of faithfulness so that I may hear some day, Well done, good and faithful servant.

Politics, Religion and the Devil

"I can do whatever I want!" I shouted. "I'm 18 and you can't tell me what to do! My mother glared back.

There I stood, old enough to vote, drive a car that could kill someone, smoke cigarettes, gamble, own a gun, fight a war, run for state office, travel the world, get married, get drunk (age was once 18 in my state), change my name, get a pilots license, take out a loan, and be charged as an adult.

This week the faithful will be blogging about freedom in honor of Independence Day. The idea of freedom means something different to everyone - so enjoy the fireworks.

Like many teenagers, I was looking forward to not having anyone tell me what to do. I wanted FREEDOM! Living in a single-parent home, I had some baggage that made it hard for me to see that anyone cared. I only heard from the "authorities" when I did something wrong. I ran up a pretty good tab financially with two cars, and two motorcycles. I felt that I deserved it because I worked hard at two jobs.

At work there were always conflicts, some due to my bad attitude - okay, many. So, I would quit before I got fired - well, most of the time. I loved the printing trade; of course I thought I should be farther up the line than I was.

My personal life was a mess, as I was drinking very heavily. I had fair-weather friends who showed up when I had the booze. Otherwise no one called me.

Emotionally I was bankrupt. I wanted to die, I felt unloved, and happiness was a long way off - so far in fact that it seemed unachievable.

Finally I was so sick of everyone telling me what to do, I joined the Army. How stupid is it to give up all your freedom to do push-ups in 98 degree/98% humidity weather in Alabama in the middle of August?

And probably the saddest situation of all, spiritually I was an atheist, without any hope, for anything. HERE is how the story ends - or should I say begins.

I heard all kinds of views on freedom. The freedom to pursue happiness, the freedom to choose, freedom from government meddling in my life, and yes, the Bible quote, John 8:36 "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." I really did not understand freedom at all. Certainly, I was free to sin. Everything I chose seemed to turn into disaster. How was it in all my rebelling against authority, I did not see the spiritual principal of "truth." John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

The truth about freedom for me was simply this. John 8:34 "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.


I confess, I had an amazing encounter with God and his love. HERE is what happened so long ago. It did, however; take many years for me to finally understand the concept of sin and it's ability to take away my freedom.


Not getting caught, is not real freedom. Striving to be better, and trying to be good was not freedom at all.


The real freedom for me, was in the simple revelation that in order for the perfectly "new man" to be free, David had to die. For years, I tried to fix David, do better, try harder, hang on, let go, repent, ask for forgiveness and strive some more. Until I had a deep encounter with my friend, Holy Spirit, I failed over and over and over. Because I lacked a deeper "totally abandon" relationship with Jesus, I was desensitized to sin and the Devil had me fooled into thinking that I wasn't as bad as someone else, and that because of religious things I did, God would "overlook" my shortcomings. What a lie!


Freedom is in dying to self - whatever that means - for me it is reckless abandon to a relationship with my God. It is in recognizing His mercy every day - after all, they are new every morning. It is in fighting th battle redemption vs. shame, and letting God win it. If we are in communion with God throughout the day - in prayer, in thought, in enjoyment of His presence, then we have a chance to enjoy real freedom. It won't matter who is president, who our boss is, what our spouse says, if we got a speeding ticket, or if the people in our lives measure up to some perceived standard we've set.


The fruit of real freedom is joy.


How about you, are you enjoying your freedom?

Love lifted me...Praise God!

Although tolerance is not one of the three virtues listed by Paul in his letter to the church at Corinth, I still believe it to be a very important attribute for the mature Christian. Tolerance should, however, be closely balanced with discernment for the Christian to avoid the every present danger we find ourselves in today called apathy.

Aristotle put forth four virtues necessary for a good person to have: temperance, wisdom, justice and courage. While temperance goes a few steps beyond just tolerance, there is also a danger with the balance emphasis of temperance to forget there is One above all else and not all in the world is in balance.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 (NIV)

¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

The church I attend recently went through a little tiff. Who really knows where these crazy things start. I guess it's just human nature for us to occasionally want to quarrel...even in matters of faith. Ha! Especially in matters of faith! Everything eventually died down (for the most part), and hopefully we are refocused on our part in the Kingdom.

I really never allowed myself to be pulled into the fray, although one of my fellow members tried to drag me in any way. I guess I was an easy target in his machine-gunner style character assassinations...being just one of the many. Refusing to come unglued and fire back in defensive anger, I adopted the attitude that who I am today is not who I was many years ago, and I owe that completely to God. I live for Him now...not for what other people think of me. As long as I'm being a true light for His love, well sticks an stones...sticks and stones.

It's truly amazing how much peace God has granted me when I can walk up to a man I know has tried to drum up trouble in a church family I hold very dear in my heart and shake his hand. Not in hypocrisy either but in genuine love and concern. That's God folks...not Tony. No, the old me would have tossed and turned at nights plotting a way to fire/get back at him or worse...just belted him in the mouth one day in anger. Not very WWJD.

God has granted me maturity that contains tolerance, love and discernment. And thanks to that last one, I can love my trouble-making brother and still keep an eye on him...just in case.

I'll keep the other eye on my beautiful, loving wife who's still working on the tolerance issue. Her fortitude for defending the ones she loves looms large, and he never receives an acknowledgement of being alive from her. He should probably count his blessings on that fact too.

She's still way ahead of me in most other areas though. Thank You Father for Your tolerance we call grace.

The Wardrobe of Forbearance

Do people ever bug you?

I feel guilty about this, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes I find people exasperating!

It's so easy for me to be hurt by my fellow Believers in a local church who I think seem cliquish or unfriendly, or to become annoyed by a sister in Christ with whom I'm working on a project and she is consistently unclear about what we need. It's no wonder that I see the admonition repeatedly in the New Testament for Christ's followers to bear with one another.

One of my favorite Bible passages with regard to this whole issue is Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG):

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Perhaps I like this passage in The Message paraphrase so much because I like clothes. Whenever I'm planning to go someplace, I take a few moments to consider what outfit that I have in my closet is most appropriate for the event. If I'm at an event and realize that I've totally misjudged the situation and am either over, or under, dressed for the occasion, I feel less than comfortable. I really appreciated it when I was at my oldest son, Devon's, college for the weekend of his graduation because his school clearly spelled out if a particular event was to be casual, informal, or formal (they also even defined what each of these meant for both civilians and service personnel).

I think it's cool that God's Word clues me in on the best clothes for life within the body of Believers. That love is THE all-purpose garment. That God's picked out compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline for me to put on. He not only tells me how to dress, but he even fills me in on what my deportment should be - even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.

But what really gets me in this passage is when it says: "Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you." I've messed up a LOT in my life and God has never told me - no more, I've had enough, I'm going to just leave you and forsake you for that one! Instead, He has always forgiven me, cleansed me, and the Holy Spirit continues to work in me so I don't have to continue in my sins.

What about you, do you find it easy to be forgiving and over look the offenses of others in the body of Christ? What do you do when you have someone who really "rubs you the wrong way"?

The Strong Getting Stronger

Even the strongest weight lifters need a spot. Sometimes the spot is precautionary, just for safety, with no effort exerted at all. Other times a spotter merely uses words to encourage the weight lifter. Sometimes words aren't enough and a spotter will use a very soft touch to help get the weight through a sticking point. And then there may be times when a spotter needs to pull the bar off the neck of the weight lifter.

As Christians, there are times in our Walk that we need a spot. There are times in our walk where we need to spot others. Admitting to a need or a weakness is not a lack of Faith. There is no Faith in being a prideful knucklehead. It actually takes more Faith to put trust in another Brother or Sister in Christ than it does to deny or cover up a weakness.

Paul recognized the importance of admitting to his weaknesses. It is a Christian's time of weakness that Jesus can be His strongest. It is when a person's pride is at its smallest that the Compassion of Jesus will be its biggest.

Sometimes Believers find themselves lifting a weight that too heavy or is just not of God. This is when the Body can grow in Love and strength and serve each other by placing greater importance upon other people and their needs. Maybe just a few words are needed to help out someone struggling.  Maybe it is just a little push that gets them through the 'workout'.  Maybe you are the only one that is there to pull the bar off their neck.

Asking for prayer isn'ta sign of weakness. Asking for prayer is a sign strong person wanting to get stronger!

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 

Packing a Heavy Load

I missed last week my turn to contribute on friends. This week, talking about bearing one another’s burdens fits along that same line. I’ll sort of combine the two and hope I don’t get too long with it.

I’ve been blessed with many good friends throughout my life. There are my childhood friends like Barbara who I wrote about here. She’s the best. After all these years she still says I’d do anything for you. And she did! My daughter’s van was stranded in Georgia a few miles from their house. She and her husband went and got the van, had it repaired, paid the repairs and waited for my daughter to come back and get it. Money was tight for them, but friendship was tighter. She helped bear that burden.

I’ve had other friends throughout my life who I knew really prayed for me. They saw my struggles and knew the best thing to do for me was to pray. I come from a traditional Pentecostal background. We have this tradition of altar time. Nothing quite like kneeling at a altar pouring your heart out to God and have someone come beside you putting their arms around and crying with you. While God heard my prayer, it seems when two of you cry together before God, it just helps.

I have two very special friends in my life right now that bear my burdens. One is relatively new in my life and the other goes back to my youth – which was a VERY long time ago.

Both of these friends live far away from me. While I have a few people I’d call friends in South Dakota. Some of that are quite wonderful. There the fellow pastor who I have lunch with – there are some wonderful people from the church where I serve as pulpit fill from time to time. I’ve taken them into my heart and some of them seem to have take me into their hearts as well.

Then there is my coffee buddy and dear friend. We meet at McDonalds even though it’s not my favorite and chat for hours, literally hours. She listened with a deep loving heart to my angst and pain about living in South Dakota. Sometimes I have friends who are overly positive but I guess they are good because they balance out my sometimes negativity – she’s one of those friends. She certainly has born a lot of my burdens.

Then there is a new friends, young, passionate about causes and so much like me in her ideas and thoughts. I want to have more time with her but we both are busy. It seems odd to have a friend who is young enough to be your daughter. She challenges me to like where I live and invest in this community. She’s right. This friend says there are burdens we can bear together here in South Dakota and challenges me to join her.

But these other two long distance friends are extra special when it comes to helping bear my burdens. One lives in Connecticut. We met by divine appointment I believe. She’s prayed with me and held me as I cried many times. One time she arranged for a few of her prayer partners to minister to me and pray for me when I still lived in Connecticut. The day was so powerful that I will never forget as I heard that God wanted me. That I was planned from the start. Oh, I knew those things in my head, but my heart didn’t know. That day my heart knew.

Now we live far away from each other and we email. It is always with great delight I open her emails. She shares her heart with me. She shares her struggles in life. I share mine. We try to encourage each other but I think more than that we just care and listen to each other with no judgment. That’s a gift.

Then there is a new old friend. We went to high school together but didn’t know each other. We became friends when I was a single mother trying to raise three small children and go to school. My abusive husband had recently abandoned me. I lived on welfare and food stamps. I lived in a trailer. I was a needy friend in so many ways. Talk about burdens to bear!

She and her roommate helped bear my burdens with love and friendship along with tangible things – like food and a telephone. Imagine living in a trailer in a not so great trailer court with three small children and have no telephone. One day, this friend told me that she and her roommate had decided to pay for a telephone. I’ve never forgotten how I felt that day. No more pay phones.

I lost touch with this friend for probably 30 years. I never forgot her but I never knew where she was either. Recently, thanks to the internet we’ve reconnected. I may not need a telephone any more or some of the other tangible things I needed back then. Now, I need loving support and prayer. My burden is loneliness and depression. Just as she swung into action to get a telephone for me, she has swung into action to pray, listen, and care. She’s bearing this burden now.

I hope that there are people who say these things about me – that I help bear their burdens. I want to pay it back or pay it forward or something. Whose burden can you bear?