Rebellion Is Not Freedom

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

2 Corinthians 3.17

When I am obedient, I have the most freedom.  When I listen and do what Holy Spirit leads, life goes a lot smoother. For years, I had the view of God as a quick to anger, hard to please Dad.  So there were many times I just did what I thought was best and asked Jesus to bless what I had going on.  And on those few occasions when I did 'wait' on God, I looked for or even created the confirmation I needed so I could still get my way.

Eventually, this sorta faith failed me too many times.  I wanted to stop learning things the hard way.  I was sick of repeating the same mistakes over and over, in private and in public.  I was exhausted from my sin that would reveal itself at the most embarrassing times.

Do I still live obediently? Unfortunately, no.  Do I trust God more? Definitely, yes!  It took a few years of abusing the Grace that had been given to me and dealing with the consequences of my selfishness and stupidity.  After a few years of justifying my disobedience as Liberty and surrendering Peace and Joy for fleeting moments of pleasure, I was empty and broken.

I finally realized that rebellion is not Freedom.

So think clearly and exercise self-control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.  So you must live as God’s obedient children. Don’t slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn’t know any better then.  But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. 

1 Peter 1.13-15

Choose this day... freedom or bondage

I am writing this blog from a place I've never been before. I am in a dorm room. No I'm not getting a child into college for summer school. I'm not visiting one of my children on a college campus either. I'm living in the dorm.

Now before you worry that I escaped South Dakota or left my husband, rumors can spread so fast. Let me explain. I am here because I have begun a doctoral program. In three years, with God's help, grace and a lot of hard work, I will be Dr. Joyce A. Lighari. I've even been thinking about changing my name for professional purposes. When I write my book I may want to change not only the names of some of those who are in the book but my own.

It's a strange experience. It's sort of like camp without the pool and free time. No late night campfires where we toast marshmallows and all come to Jesus either. I am in a rather stark dorm room all by myself. I share a bathroom with some one else. Other than that, it's just me. Breakfast at 7 a.m. - short breaks for lunch and supper between classes that start at 8 a.m. and end at 9, 10, or somethings 11 p.m.

So what does this have to do with freedom? Actually it has a lot to do with freedom. I'm not talking about that feeling of freedom that a college student has when they first leave home. I am taking about a freedom to pursue the calling of God on my life.

God has been doing a lot of rearranging in me. I feel a bit like Moses. God sent me to the backside of the desert (South Dakota). Now in my old age, I'm back in school. I'm back in a dorm. I'm being further changed and rearranged so that I can walk in a freedom I've never know before.

As part of this process, we've been reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Okay, I know, you must have read it. Just like you, I read it in the 90's too. It sounded good. Doesn't conflict with Biblical principles - doesn't particularly emphasize them as such either... Unfortunately, life got chaotic again for me right after I read it - the bottom of everything fell out. When I picked it up this time, I realized the only thing I clearly remembered was that picture of the woman.

Perhaps because of the all the calamities, chaos and such of my life, I was finally really ready to read this book. You know God uses everything, including Stephen Covey's 7 habits. I'd heard it before but when I read, between stimulus and response there is choice, I think I had an epiphany. Every since then, ever since it got deep down in my spirit, I realized I was free to chose.

Obviously the most important thing in life we ever chose is our response to God. That brings the greatest freedom. However, if we don't exercise our now re-born freewill to chose for ourselves how we are going to react, we are never free. We never know freedom. We destructively follow false Gods and false patterns. We never know the wonderful person God made us to be; we never let Him finish His work in us. We just react to everything. Crisis hits, and we react - we could respond by listening to the voice of God who will tell us what our response should be.

I feel more free than I have in a long time. This Independence Day, I am celebrating my independence from the dictates of other people, their attitudes, their opinions, their judgments and my own false beliefs. I may be too old to live in a dorm, but here I am. I'm older than almost anyone, but I'm here. I had the freedom to chose to live my life for God's glory and service.

We've been asked to write our personal mission statement. I didn't want to... still don't. But as I've thought about it, I discovered that I desire more than anything to have a legacy of faithfulness so that I may hear some day, Well done, good and faithful servant.

Politics, Religion and the Devil

"I can do whatever I want!" I shouted. "I'm 18 and you can't tell me what to do! My mother glared back.

There I stood, old enough to vote, drive a car that could kill someone, smoke cigarettes, gamble, own a gun, fight a war, run for state office, travel the world, get married, get drunk (age was once 18 in my state), change my name, get a pilots license, take out a loan, and be charged as an adult.

This week the faithful will be blogging about freedom in honor of Independence Day. The idea of freedom means something different to everyone - so enjoy the fireworks.

Like many teenagers, I was looking forward to not having anyone tell me what to do. I wanted FREEDOM! Living in a single-parent home, I had some baggage that made it hard for me to see that anyone cared. I only heard from the "authorities" when I did something wrong. I ran up a pretty good tab financially with two cars, and two motorcycles. I felt that I deserved it because I worked hard at two jobs.

At work there were always conflicts, some due to my bad attitude - okay, many. So, I would quit before I got fired - well, most of the time. I loved the printing trade; of course I thought I should be farther up the line than I was.

My personal life was a mess, as I was drinking very heavily. I had fair-weather friends who showed up when I had the booze. Otherwise no one called me.

Emotionally I was bankrupt. I wanted to die, I felt unloved, and happiness was a long way off - so far in fact that it seemed unachievable.

Finally I was so sick of everyone telling me what to do, I joined the Army. How stupid is it to give up all your freedom to do push-ups in 98 degree/98% humidity weather in Alabama in the middle of August?

And probably the saddest situation of all, spiritually I was an atheist, without any hope, for anything. HERE is how the story ends - or should I say begins.

I heard all kinds of views on freedom. The freedom to pursue happiness, the freedom to choose, freedom from government meddling in my life, and yes, the Bible quote, John 8:36 "If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." I really did not understand freedom at all. Certainly, I was free to sin. Everything I chose seemed to turn into disaster. How was it in all my rebelling against authority, I did not see the spiritual principal of "truth." John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

The truth about freedom for me was simply this. John 8:34 "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.


I confess, I had an amazing encounter with God and his love. HERE is what happened so long ago. It did, however; take many years for me to finally understand the concept of sin and it's ability to take away my freedom.


Not getting caught, is not real freedom. Striving to be better, and trying to be good was not freedom at all.


The real freedom for me, was in the simple revelation that in order for the perfectly "new man" to be free, David had to die. For years, I tried to fix David, do better, try harder, hang on, let go, repent, ask for forgiveness and strive some more. Until I had a deep encounter with my friend, Holy Spirit, I failed over and over and over. Because I lacked a deeper "totally abandon" relationship with Jesus, I was desensitized to sin and the Devil had me fooled into thinking that I wasn't as bad as someone else, and that because of religious things I did, God would "overlook" my shortcomings. What a lie!


Freedom is in dying to self - whatever that means - for me it is reckless abandon to a relationship with my God. It is in recognizing His mercy every day - after all, they are new every morning. It is in fighting th battle redemption vs. shame, and letting God win it. If we are in communion with God throughout the day - in prayer, in thought, in enjoyment of His presence, then we have a chance to enjoy real freedom. It won't matter who is president, who our boss is, what our spouse says, if we got a speeding ticket, or if the people in our lives measure up to some perceived standard we've set.


The fruit of real freedom is joy.


How about you, are you enjoying your freedom?

Love lifted me...Praise God!

Although tolerance is not one of the three virtues listed by Paul in his letter to the church at Corinth, I still believe it to be a very important attribute for the mature Christian. Tolerance should, however, be closely balanced with discernment for the Christian to avoid the every present danger we find ourselves in today called apathy.

Aristotle put forth four virtues necessary for a good person to have: temperance, wisdom, justice and courage. While temperance goes a few steps beyond just tolerance, there is also a danger with the balance emphasis of temperance to forget there is One above all else and not all in the world is in balance.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 (NIV)

¹¹When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹²Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love

The church I attend recently went through a little tiff. Who really knows where these crazy things start. I guess it's just human nature for us to occasionally want to quarrel...even in matters of faith. Ha! Especially in matters of faith! Everything eventually died down (for the most part), and hopefully we are refocused on our part in the Kingdom.

I really never allowed myself to be pulled into the fray, although one of my fellow members tried to drag me in any way. I guess I was an easy target in his machine-gunner style character assassinations...being just one of the many. Refusing to come unglued and fire back in defensive anger, I adopted the attitude that who I am today is not who I was many years ago, and I owe that completely to God. I live for Him now...not for what other people think of me. As long as I'm being a true light for His love, well sticks an stones...sticks and stones.

It's truly amazing how much peace God has granted me when I can walk up to a man I know has tried to drum up trouble in a church family I hold very dear in my heart and shake his hand. Not in hypocrisy either but in genuine love and concern. That's God folks...not Tony. No, the old me would have tossed and turned at nights plotting a way to fire/get back at him or worse...just belted him in the mouth one day in anger. Not very WWJD.

God has granted me maturity that contains tolerance, love and discernment. And thanks to that last one, I can love my trouble-making brother and still keep an eye on him...just in case.

I'll keep the other eye on my beautiful, loving wife who's still working on the tolerance issue. Her fortitude for defending the ones she loves looms large, and he never receives an acknowledgement of being alive from her. He should probably count his blessings on that fact too.

She's still way ahead of me in most other areas though. Thank You Father for Your tolerance we call grace.

The Wardrobe of Forbearance

Do people ever bug you?

I feel guilty about this, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes I find people exasperating!

It's so easy for me to be hurt by my fellow Believers in a local church who I think seem cliquish or unfriendly, or to become annoyed by a sister in Christ with whom I'm working on a project and she is consistently unclear about what we need. It's no wonder that I see the admonition repeatedly in the New Testament for Christ's followers to bear with one another.

One of my favorite Bible passages with regard to this whole issue is Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG):

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Perhaps I like this passage in The Message paraphrase so much because I like clothes. Whenever I'm planning to go someplace, I take a few moments to consider what outfit that I have in my closet is most appropriate for the event. If I'm at an event and realize that I've totally misjudged the situation and am either over, or under, dressed for the occasion, I feel less than comfortable. I really appreciated it when I was at my oldest son, Devon's, college for the weekend of his graduation because his school clearly spelled out if a particular event was to be casual, informal, or formal (they also even defined what each of these meant for both civilians and service personnel).

I think it's cool that God's Word clues me in on the best clothes for life within the body of Believers. That love is THE all-purpose garment. That God's picked out compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline for me to put on. He not only tells me how to dress, but he even fills me in on what my deportment should be - even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.

But what really gets me in this passage is when it says: "Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you." I've messed up a LOT in my life and God has never told me - no more, I've had enough, I'm going to just leave you and forsake you for that one! Instead, He has always forgiven me, cleansed me, and the Holy Spirit continues to work in me so I don't have to continue in my sins.

What about you, do you find it easy to be forgiving and over look the offenses of others in the body of Christ? What do you do when you have someone who really "rubs you the wrong way"?

The Strong Getting Stronger

Even the strongest weight lifters need a spot. Sometimes the spot is precautionary, just for safety, with no effort exerted at all. Other times a spotter merely uses words to encourage the weight lifter. Sometimes words aren't enough and a spotter will use a very soft touch to help get the weight through a sticking point. And then there may be times when a spotter needs to pull the bar off the neck of the weight lifter.

As Christians, there are times in our Walk that we need a spot. There are times in our walk where we need to spot others. Admitting to a need or a weakness is not a lack of Faith. There is no Faith in being a prideful knucklehead. It actually takes more Faith to put trust in another Brother or Sister in Christ than it does to deny or cover up a weakness.

Paul recognized the importance of admitting to his weaknesses. It is a Christian's time of weakness that Jesus can be His strongest. It is when a person's pride is at its smallest that the Compassion of Jesus will be its biggest.

Sometimes Believers find themselves lifting a weight that too heavy or is just not of God. This is when the Body can grow in Love and strength and serve each other by placing greater importance upon other people and their needs. Maybe just a few words are needed to help out someone struggling.  Maybe it is just a little push that gets them through the 'workout'.  Maybe you are the only one that is there to pull the bar off their neck.

Asking for prayer isn'ta sign of weakness. Asking for prayer is a sign strong person wanting to get stronger!

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 

Packing a Heavy Load

I missed last week my turn to contribute on friends. This week, talking about bearing one another’s burdens fits along that same line. I’ll sort of combine the two and hope I don’t get too long with it.

I’ve been blessed with many good friends throughout my life. There are my childhood friends like Barbara who I wrote about here. She’s the best. After all these years she still says I’d do anything for you. And she did! My daughter’s van was stranded in Georgia a few miles from their house. She and her husband went and got the van, had it repaired, paid the repairs and waited for my daughter to come back and get it. Money was tight for them, but friendship was tighter. She helped bear that burden.

I’ve had other friends throughout my life who I knew really prayed for me. They saw my struggles and knew the best thing to do for me was to pray. I come from a traditional Pentecostal background. We have this tradition of altar time. Nothing quite like kneeling at a altar pouring your heart out to God and have someone come beside you putting their arms around and crying with you. While God heard my prayer, it seems when two of you cry together before God, it just helps.

I have two very special friends in my life right now that bear my burdens. One is relatively new in my life and the other goes back to my youth – which was a VERY long time ago.

Both of these friends live far away from me. While I have a few people I’d call friends in South Dakota. Some of that are quite wonderful. There the fellow pastor who I have lunch with – there are some wonderful people from the church where I serve as pulpit fill from time to time. I’ve taken them into my heart and some of them seem to have take me into their hearts as well.

Then there is my coffee buddy and dear friend. We meet at McDonalds even though it’s not my favorite and chat for hours, literally hours. She listened with a deep loving heart to my angst and pain about living in South Dakota. Sometimes I have friends who are overly positive but I guess they are good because they balance out my sometimes negativity – she’s one of those friends. She certainly has born a lot of my burdens.

Then there is a new friends, young, passionate about causes and so much like me in her ideas and thoughts. I want to have more time with her but we both are busy. It seems odd to have a friend who is young enough to be your daughter. She challenges me to like where I live and invest in this community. She’s right. This friend says there are burdens we can bear together here in South Dakota and challenges me to join her.

But these other two long distance friends are extra special when it comes to helping bear my burdens. One lives in Connecticut. We met by divine appointment I believe. She’s prayed with me and held me as I cried many times. One time she arranged for a few of her prayer partners to minister to me and pray for me when I still lived in Connecticut. The day was so powerful that I will never forget as I heard that God wanted me. That I was planned from the start. Oh, I knew those things in my head, but my heart didn’t know. That day my heart knew.

Now we live far away from each other and we email. It is always with great delight I open her emails. She shares her heart with me. She shares her struggles in life. I share mine. We try to encourage each other but I think more than that we just care and listen to each other with no judgment. That’s a gift.

Then there is a new old friend. We went to high school together but didn’t know each other. We became friends when I was a single mother trying to raise three small children and go to school. My abusive husband had recently abandoned me. I lived on welfare and food stamps. I lived in a trailer. I was a needy friend in so many ways. Talk about burdens to bear!

She and her roommate helped bear my burdens with love and friendship along with tangible things – like food and a telephone. Imagine living in a trailer in a not so great trailer court with three small children and have no telephone. One day, this friend told me that she and her roommate had decided to pay for a telephone. I’ve never forgotten how I felt that day. No more pay phones.

I lost touch with this friend for probably 30 years. I never forgot her but I never knew where she was either. Recently, thanks to the internet we’ve reconnected. I may not need a telephone any more or some of the other tangible things I needed back then. Now, I need loving support and prayer. My burden is loneliness and depression. Just as she swung into action to get a telephone for me, she has swung into action to pray, listen, and care. She’s bearing this burden now.

I hope that there are people who say these things about me – that I help bear their burdens. I want to pay it back or pay it forward or something. Whose burden can you bear?

IMNSHO! (In my not so humble opinion)

I sat across the desk from the new pastor. "How do you feel about authority?" he asked, flipping open to one of many bookmarks in his Bible.

I was sort of on the hot seat, and I dug deep into my spirit for an answer. "It's good if it is from God." I replied in my most humble tone.

Jaw dropping silence.

Getting along with others in the Body of Christ can be most taxing at times. There are all sorts of personalities, levels of redemption and a bit of dysfunction in the church. Having the expectation of "grace" and "love" - err, "sloppy agape," can make relationship even tougher than those with the lost  - where truthfully, we don't have much in the way of expectation. So sit back and prepare for your weekly Kingdom Blogger Extravaganza - a bonanza of ways to, and examples of, bearing with one another in love.

As a disillusioned young Christian man (read that adult child, milk sipping, believer of Christ), I was so impressed with Jesus, that I thought everyone had a similar experience to mine. I was wrong. I based my expectations of others on the example I received from the folks that brought me to Christ. I started to have my own ideas about church, thought up some more programs and believed whatever I heard from the pulpit. It's a recipe for disaster - and that I became.

The honeymoon was over, and the warm fuzzy feeling faded away after about three years. I had fought with the Devil, tried to study the Bible, and made some wrong decisions. I headed out into the desert and stayed there for nearly 7 years. I tried to keep my own brand of faith, but it wasn't working for me.

Winding the clock ahead, past seminary and Bible school, mission trips and hundreds of services and conferences, there I sat in the green leather chair looking at the new pastor. How could this happen again? I had desperately tried to get along, to obey the rules, and participate as a member. I even wore a suit and tie on Easter!

Just a week before I was pacing the back of the church praying, pressing in, sensing I would be used somehow. (I had a prophetic word about pastors calling me up to pray for others - even ones that didn't know me.) It had already happened a few times before. The entire service, both during the worship, the word and the announcements, I prayed. The sermon was on breakthrough and the old pastor got to the altar call when he invited the elders up to pray, and "you too" he said as he pointed at me.

I prayed for a bunch of folks and the power of God was really quite awesome that morning. I was listening to the instructions of my friend Holy Spirit, and the fruit was amazing. I finally came to one guy and his wife, and I saw this wonderful worship gift "on" him. "You play an instrument I asked?"

He nodded yes.

"Keyboard, right?" I continued. (No sense going on with an impression if your are out to lunch.)

"Yes, I just bought one and I haven't played in many years." He said. His wife seemed a little surprised at the conversation.

"Well, I believe that the Lord wants you to lead worship sometime." I continued. "And I know you think this is a coincidence, but the Lord told me that you drive a dark green Dodge pick-up truck with some silver or gray on the door. It has a cassette player that is broken, but you wanted a CD player when you bought it, and you listen to worldly radio - rock and roll even - not that rock is bad, but God would like you to praise him too."

OK, I am way out of my comfort zone and his wife thinks I was checking them out in the parking lot. I swear on a million Bibles, I had never met them, and didn't know a thing about them - especially that they were recently saved. He had never told anyone in church that he played keyboard, as he was thinking about writing movie scores, not playing worship on Sunday mornings.

That is what I love about God. He addresses the secret us, our longings and desires.

The man looked at his wife and said, "How would he know what type of music I listen to, and that I tried to order a CD player when the truck was new?"

Another trip to another pastor's office. There he had nothing to say about my response about authority. It was left there and he never picked his Bible up one more time during the meeting.

He sort of got into how the couple felt about the "word" I had for the husband. He was unclear of the above details.They thought maybe he had told me all about them, but actually, I never really talked to him before our little authority gathering..

At the end of the meeting, the pastor asked me to apologize to the man and his wife. And I did the very next time I saw them. I told him that is was presumptuous to have told him that God was going to use him in worship, and that I was sorry if I created a false hope in him, or his wife. Case closed.

It was a tough lesson for me - I thought I was right, but the pastor asked, and to bear with him, I did exactly as he asked.

Another time they were praying for a man in the hospital during the service. They took turns in leading tearful prayers. "Oh poor so-and-so" The leaders continued on thanking God for the life he had lived. LIVED!? I stood up and proclaimed, "He will live and not die!" I saw a picture of his aorta with a healing flash of light in my spirit.

The pastor fired back, "You better be right!" He was mad. Even though the man's family had been summoned to the hospital to say their goodbyes. He lived.

I apologized for my exuberance - especially in front of the congregation.

One Sunday we had some visitors from Iceland. I asked the pastor if I could share a word with them - one that he would be a witness for. He agreed - at least if I went off the deep end, he'd be right there to slap me. ;o) I didn't say "God said," or anything like that. I simply said, I see - "I see you teaching other pastors. He was nodding yes.(Turns out he was the leader of the Icelandic Evangelical Pastor's Association) I continued: "And working with your wife, I see you in a prison, like a prison ministry. It is a place in your life that goes virtually unnoticed."

The pastor stopped me - "He means like you are setting the captives free from the prison of sin."

The Icelandic man, said, "No pastor, I minister with my wife in the prison every week. Just the two of us."

We left the pastor's office that morning to go back to the sanctuary, and there on stage, was the man playing keyboards and singing praises to the Lord. It was awesome! A few months later he was asked to be the worship leader.

Wow! God is amazing!

This particular pastor is one of the most difficult people that I have ever worked with. Over and over we locked horns. I often thought of leaving, but the Lord would not release me. And so I stayed, watched people get healed, had a chance to prophesy, to teach, go on mission trips, lead home groups, play worship, worked with the youth and young adults - and grew up a lot. In the end, they blessed me and my wife and we left about 6 years ago.

Every so often, I visit the old church web site and I see that this keyboard player is still the worship leader.

God knows what He is doing.

How about you, do yo have someone at church that is tough to get along with? How do you deal with them?

You just never know who's paying attention...

Can you think of a story from your past that involves a friend who left a lasting, positive impression just because of who they were? You probably thought of several, like me. A story came to mind today that happened while I was in college (a long time ago). My freshman year, I lived on an upper-classman floor of a dorm due to overcrowding. It was an uninviting situation at first, but I quickly adapted and started making friends within a few days due in large part to one of my new friends named Marlin, a true Southern gentleman from Alabama. He must have been from a pretty influential family, since they shared the same last name as the county where he lived. Marlin was about as laid back as a person comes, especially for a business major. His demeanor was deceptive and made Marlin seem less sophisticated than he was actually. Looking back, I believe his humility played a big part in his popularity. Marlin was just a good person, and it showed not only in his attitude but also in his actions.

Now to the story. Marlin owned one of 'the cars' of the time, a 1979 Firebird Trans Am. That's right old timers…right out of Smokey and the Bandit fame. Unfortunately, he had a minor accident that had disfigured the classic car's signature hood decal. Not to be discouraged, Marlin completed most of the car's body repairs himself over a couple of weeks, and then he had a beautiful paint job done on the car that restored the Trans Am to near mint condition…except for one detail. The firebird emblem that made the difference between another nice muscle car and 'the car to have' was still missing. Marlin's plan to fix this was sound. He purchased the decalcomania through a mail-order catalog, saving nearly a hundred dollars (keep in mind college students are always broke), and he would put the decal on himself with help from his friends. I need to insert an important detail at this point. You see, Marlin may have come from a family with money, but he had worked in a rock quarry for several years to pay for the car and his education. It was important to Marlin that he did his own part.

The day came that the famous foul was to reclaim its distinguished place on the hood. For those of you too young to remember the distinctive decor, the decal nearly covered the entire hood, which greatly added to its 'way cool' appeal. Several of Marlin's friends went along to help with the task. First, we washed the car and dried it. Then Marlin applied a special solution (okay, rubbing alcohol) to prepare the hood. Moving to a shady spot, he carefully unfolded the decal, meticulously marked the location of each wing tip, and then double-checked everything again. At this point, we are at least two hours into the process. Next came the point of no return. While two people held the decal taut, Marlin removed the stickers backing. In order to do this, the decal was lying face down on the hood making it necessary to flip the whole thing over once the backing was off. As the flip occurs, just enough wind starts to wrinkle the decal sending Marlin into an uncharacteristic panic, and his attempt to stabilize from beneath the giant sticker cause the whole thing to fold in on itself…you guessed it, sticky sides together.

For the first and only time in the three years that I knew Marlin, I heard him utter a single profanity.

Marlin didn't curse, even though he lived in a men's dorm full of guys who did. But, I certainly didn't think any less of Marlin that day, not in the least. He lived a Christian lifestyle each and every day while staying one of the guys. He didn't drink, do drugs, tell dirty jokes or give in to any of the negative peer pressures that high school and college kids face. And, he was still a great guy. We really rode Marlin hard about the whole incident, but he took it in stride as he did everything else. I think the fact that such a big deal was made about his slip of the tongue bothered him way more than the $77.48 wad of sticky mess he now owned. The whole incident spoke to his true character. Marlin was a representative of his savior, Jesus Christ. Was he perfect? He never claimed to be, but he followed the example in his daily life of someone who is perfect. Marlin made everyone around him…well…just better people.

Christians slip up too. We all fall short of God's glory. When you do make a mistake, don't dwell so much on the mistake, but how you handle yourself after the mistake. Ultimately, that's what people are going to remember and be influence by for the glory of God.

Marlin was an excellent influence on me. I sure miss my friend from Alabama...

The blessing of Being and Having

I think one of the greatest blessings of God in my life is to both get to be and to have friends.

When it comes to being a friend, I think about the apostle Paul. I never cease to be amazed at the level of love and intimacy present when I read the apostle Paul’s words in passages like 2 Timothy 1:3-4, Philippians 1:1-9, 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3, 2 Thessalonians 1:3-4, Ephesians 1:16, and 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.. Paul's life was all about loving, hanging out with, praying for, and investing his life into people. I see a depth of love here that goes way beyond what frequently passes for friendship in our culture.

As I've read, and re-read, Bible passages like these over the years I'm challenged to live a different kind of lifestyle. One where people count way more than possessions, homes, or cars. A life style where my own needs, shyness, social anxiety, and comfort level are not what it's all about. A life style that's about cultivating an ability to hear God's voice and see people the way He does, to really hear what's going on with someone else, and to be constantly reaching out. More and more as time goes by, this is the life I'm seeking.

I've been thinking about this since I knew we were writing about friendship this week. I've been thinking about how to be a friend. Then yesterday I had the opportunity to go visit a close friend of mine from where I used to live; and I received the blessing of having a friend.

This friend, Paula, only lives about a 1 1/2 hour drive from me, but we don't get to see each other all that often. There's few things in life that can compare to spending time with a good friend. To have someone with whom I can totally be myself and just say whatever I want because she already knows me and loves me anyway. Someone who I find interesting and we can enjoy the same things - like a 2 hour walk on the beach while talking, talking and talking some more. Then it was extra wonderful because she loves to cook and she made dinner and invited two other friends, Carol and Olga, who I rarely get to see anymore, to share dinner with us. For me, I felt like I was basking in their presence, it just felt so good to be together with them again. These are people who we have history together, and, because of this history, when we share something that's currently happening in our lives, we all have a full appreciation because we know the background. These are women who I've seen God work so mightily in their lives and when I'm looking at them, I feel such immense joy just knowing the wondrous things God has done for them. These are women who I know the painful stuff that's in their lives and I sincerely care, and have invested hours in tears and prayers for, and who we're still believing together for God to work in some specific situations.

As I'm here thinking about friendship the predominant feeling I have is gratitude. Gratitude that God has blessed me with such wonderful friends. Gratitude that He lets me be a friend to others.

What about you, what comes to your mind when you think about friendship?