A Letter to Mary the Mother of G-D

A letter written by me,

to Mary, the mother of G-D. I have imagined what it would have been like to have a friend that would understand how I felt, when I found myself pregnant, at 17 and all alone. I so needed someone in whom I could

confide . There was no such a person available to me. I further wondered, if I met Mary what would happen?

Mary was about 15 when she was pregnant. I thought, she might understand me in ways, others could not.

Dear Mary

I don’t know if you will ever realize just how much I appreciated your kindness at the well this morning.

I was feeling so alone, as I find myself pregnant at 17. I didn’t realize, until today, that you are so young yourself…15??? I would have never guessed.

What was so life giving to me, about our encounter, is that you understood the shame of not being married while carrying your own child . I have felt such shame and rejection. How about you? I know I have brought this upon myself, but you have not judged me.

How was it when you told your parents? I can imagine that it was not easy, as a matter of fact, it was probably one of the hardest things you ever did. Did you see disappointment in their eyes, like I did? Did you worry

that they would disown you? Was your heart beating so fast within your ches that you thought they could hear it? I know mine was beating a million beats a minute.

After the initial shock wore off, my parents were kinder than I expected. I guess they were able to draw from deep within themselves, the love they had, for me. I know, when I have children of my own, I want to show them such love. I am sure they wondered if they failed, as my parents.

Joseph…Oh Joseph!!!... I forgot about him! Have you told him yet? I shouldn’t take such liberty with you, as we have only met…but is he the

father of your child? I mean, when I think about it, who else could it be? I

hope he doesn’t reject you. I know that you and he have had great plans for

your future.

As for me, unfortunately the father of my child will not marry me. Why

is the female always to blame? Oh yes, I have confessed my transgression to our G-D Almighty but most men think it okay for the woman to bear consequences of such wrongs. I know that is their way, but Mary, I will

tell you that deep inside me, I am so angry it is so.
Your Joseph seems like an honorable man and I am sure that he will do the right thing.

Even though we are both pregnant …young and all… your pregnancy seems different. I can’t put my finger on it, but it does. Somehow

though, that doesn’t seem to matter. The highlight of our conversation was that you have compassion on me and an understanding that not many people have.

One thing I have always noticed about you is that you seem to have such a devotion to Almighty G-D. It seems to me that it is a connection, very few have. I have to admit that I am jealous of that, in a good way though. I want to learn to seek Him, so that whatever He asks me to do, I will do it. I imagine you are one who would have a quick obedience. I don’t want to assume that your trusting has always been automatic…you seem to have more experience with G-D, to know you can trust Him.

I have wondered…I hope you don’t think this question is very silly…but have you ever seen angels? The reason I ask that is, I know people who have a deep relationship with G-D, have claimed such appearances. I am not kidding, I have heard that. I don’t know whether to believe that. But as I lay in bed, this morning, I thought…”if there is anyone, who I would guess could see angels, it would be Mary.’’

Thank you again for not rejecting me. It means so much.

Perhaps what makes that easier is on some level, you understand so many nuances about a pregnancy, without marriage.

I pray for the health of your child. I ask G-D to give you a good pregnancy and safe delivery. I pray for you and Joseph and your future

together. I will ask you to pray for me too.

I know that you study G-D’s word for information, but you pause and meditate on it…what is the word I would like to use?…oh yes…you seem to ponder it…deep  within. I want that kind of trusting devotion.

Thank G-D that He sent me a friend like you.

With love in my heart,

Your new friend,

Linda

Don't limit the love of God with your own version...

I've been struggling lately...

Writing has been a challange for me for about a month now. It seems my focus has been aimed at spending more time in God's Word and in prayer. I have several pressing issue I've been praying diligently about for weeks, and I've recently added a few more. I hope you can be patient with me while I sort through some time-management issues and get back to blogging on a regular schedule...reading and writing. I made a commitment to my fellow Kingdon Bloggers and to honor that commitment, I share a post from Tony C Today on the subject matter posted last year in May but still relevent today. To update the story, I have exchanged several letters with my friend and continue to share the wonderful news of God's grace with him. Blessings to each of you!

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway...Father Jerome Cummings


Eternity. I thinks it's impossible as finite physical beings to grasp the concept. No beginning or end to a single day...actually...no days at all. Beyond my understanding.

I have a friend (I'll qualify that definition in just a second) who probably thinks he knows the meaning of eternity. He's doing 26 years in a federal prison, and he just started last August 2009. That's 26 years at 100% required sentence...no good behavior time. I'm sure each day seems like an eternity to him.

He deserves the sentence he received because he was involved in some pretty heinous stuff. Things that make your stomach get all knotted up and, as a father, get really, really out of your comfort zone. He was a coach. His crime involved sexual battery...with boys. It also included child pornography. He got what he deserved and maybe not enough.

His arrest was a complete shock to his friends and peers. A completely likable guy that was always fun to be around, I've interviewed him on the radio a number of times about his basketball program in a small, obscure school in the upper corner of nowhere. He worked hard and was an integral part of the community. The revelation was devastating as everyone tried to marry the crime with the person. We were all shocked at the revolting details as each became available.

Some, no most, of his friends were repelled and disgusted by the betrayal. There was a lot of vicious, threatening language used when the matter was discussed. I tried to find understanding and forgiveness in my own heart for him...but it was very slow in coming. I don't think I'll ever reach the part of understanding, but I try to maintain that I have my own sins to worry about when it comes to offending my Creator.

God sometimes has a peculiar way of convicting us. Yesterday, just out of the blue, my friend's name just popped into my thoughts. I can't explain why, other than God wanted me to think about him...so I did...and I prayed for direction. What do You want me to do? As I turned on SportsCenter last night in my nightly ritual, the lead story was the release of Michael Vick from federal prison. Later in the story, Tony Dungy was quoted as saying he believes Vick deserved forgiveness and a second chance. Compassionate words from a renowned Christian and man of God. I found myself in agreement but with exception. Should he be allowed to return to the position of prominence he enjoyed before his own heinous crimes were discovered? I was conflicted in my own opinion. God could receive glory in the return of Vick to the NFL if Vick stayed true to his testimony of being born again. I concluded that my opinion is...well... completely irrelevant. God's will shall be done.

I don't find coincidence in the thoughts of my friend and the story of Vick being prominent yesterday. Both are infamous in their own way, yet aren't we all in the sight of God? The Bible is very clear all fall short of His glory and that none of us is without sin. I've read and heard much about the difference in severity (or lack of) in our sins, but my understanding is akin to that of the concept of eternity. If sin is sin in God's eye with none being more evil than another...then my own feelings are seriously misplaced when it comes to my friend. He needs God's forgiveness and mercy more than anything else...just like me.

My statement that he got what he deserves stands as true as it did a few paragraphs ago. What he did was vile and wrong, and he should be locked away. But setting things right with society and setting things right with the Almighty have no comparison. The 26 years he will spend for his crimes are justice served. Crime needs to be punished. Dangerous criminals like my friend need to be locked up. Call it a sickness, a pathological disorder or just plain evilness...society has an obligation to protect the innocent from the infringements of sexual predators.

His soul is another matter. As he pays society for his wrongdoing, my friend can make peace with God...and I hope he does. For some of you, that may be hard to swallow. Why should a sex offender who committed such atrocious acts be allowed the reward of heaven? Be careful...that's a very slippery trail to travel...and one we shouldn't even be on in the first place.

I hate what he done with a passion that I don't completely understand. God hates my sins also with a like zeal...I'm just glad He looks past them to still love me. My friend is a whosoever just like me in John 3:16, he can accept the same gift provided by Christ's sacrifice on a cross, and I hope he seeks and ask for that forgiveness.

Today, I felt lead to share these thoughts with you, then find out how to write my friend and let him know that God loves him...and I love him too. Maybe reading this compels you to extend forgiveness to someone that has been long coming. I hope what I'm doing is the true will of God, and I'm going to have faith that it is...besides, I don't want to start eternity by answering to my Creator for not putting my personal feelings aside to follow His commandments and will for my life.

Are mentally ill people "worth" our compassion?

This week David, Joyce and Dave have shared about how real faith results in compassionate hearts that act on that compassion.

When I think about compassion I'm reminded of Jesus' words that are recorded in Luke 7:46-48. Jesus was specifically talking about Mary at the time, but he presented the principle that one who's been forgiven much, loves much. I've been forgiven MUCH. I've experienced God's grace, mercy, love, and unmerited favor greatly in my life. Because of His love for me, I can love others. I've also been through lots of hard times, so I understand what pain is like and my heart goes out to others who suffer.

But I really appreciated in Dave's post yesterday how the man who gave the single mom the money didn't want anyone to know about it. Somehow sharing about acts that I've done out of compassion feels all wrong; telling others what I've done seems counter productive (perhaps that's why Dave shared about someone else's acts). So, rather than regal you with tales of things I've done, I wanted to share just a bit with you about a group of people who need our compassion.

If you've read my blog much you know that I periodically post about Mental Illnesses. Through my work and personal life I've had years and years of experience dealing with mentally ill individuals. I've noticed that few people understand what it's like for those who suffer from mental illness. Most people just find mentally ill individuals annoying (this is most likely because mentally ill people so frequently engage in annoying behavior!) But no one chooses to have a mental illnesses. I know that God loves mentally ill individuals the same way He loves everyone else. I know that God's heart is that we would love, and not miss opportunities to show that love in action toward mentally ill people when they cross our paths.

What about you, what have your encounters with mentally ill people been like?

Landfill Compassion

If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?

1 John 3.17

I know of a couple of Bruthas that were asked by their church to help a single mom move a bed and some furniture.  It turned out that the church secretary had come someone wanting to get rid of these items.  The one dude was pretty jacked up because he had preached for years about how the body is supposed to step up and help out those in need.

That enthusiasm quickly turned to frustration and anger when he realized the  peeps giving away the bed and chairs was the County Landfill.  Not a member from the church or even another church, but items that were intended to be buried under all the trash. 

The two dudes moved things in and set up each piece in different locations as the mom and her friend suggested. It seems that no matter what condition the furniture and how empty a room is, it is difficult for two woman to decide where items needed to be placed. The single mom was excited that she would finally not have to sleep on the floor.  She was thrilled that her apartment now had 'adult' furniture other than the kitchen table and chairs. 

Anyways, the one Brutha who was pissed at the shallowness of the church, took it upon himself to give the single mom some cash so she could go out and buy some sheets, pillows and Lysol.  He requested that the mom didn't tell anyone about the amount or who gave it to her as he referenced James 2.15-16.  He did this in front of the younger Brutha deliberately, so he could show Faith in action. He did all this hoping to sow seeds of compassion and good works.

So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

James 2.17

ARK - Acts of Random Kindness

It’s funny how things you think you know and understand, like compassion can become very complex when you stop to think about it.  You think about all those times you thought you should have had more compassion.  Or you think about times you dug in your pocket and gave someone some change or a few dollars and you thought you were compassionate.

I remember being a workshop speaker at a retreat before I left Connecticut.  I remember I talked about compassion.  I talked about how Jesus did miracles when He was moved with compassion.  I remember really hammering that thought home.  I thought I really understood compassion.

I like to think I am a really compassionate person.  When I think though of say a Mother Teresa, I realize I’m probably not that compassionate after all.  Compassion involves something much more personal, much more self-sacrificing than just feeling sorry for someone or giving them your spare change, food that you don’t want in a food drive or saying a prayer for a sick person.

Compassion implies action.  A few years ago as I was pastoring a church in Tennessee I wanted to be known as a church that was compassionate.  We had gotten almost by mistake some stuff about ARK – Acts of Random Kindness.  It had some connection to the movie Evan Almighty with Steve Carrell.  This ARK campaign wanted to help promote the movie as well as promoting acts of kindness.  I liked that.  I prayed about what we could do as a church.

Our church met in the coffee shop I owned.  We did breakfasts, full breakfast, excellent breakfasts at really reasonable prices.  The business never did that well.  We underpriced ourselves and were in a relatively rural community that preferred greasy meat and three food.  (For those of you not from the South, a meat and three is a restaurant dive that serves you the meat of the day with three veggies, like overcooked carrots, greens, okra, mushy squash, and the like.)  The church would come in on Sunday morning and often my few parishioners decided they were hungry too.  I tried to keep them from the muffins and such but I never succeeded.  I tried to avoid making coffee drinks besides regular coffee.  Again, I had little luck.  After all, why meet in a coffee shop if you aren’t going to eat too.

Then it hit me.  Why not offer free breakfasts on Sunday.  I thought okay, our church folk were already eating food free but how did we find “poor” people to feed.  Then it hit me.  The Bible only says to feed the hungry.  It doesn’t say only feed poor hungry, it just said, feed the hungry.  So up went the signs.  

Free Breakfast on Sunday

God invites you to Free Breakfast on Sunday

Join me for Free Breakfast on Sunday – God

We had banners and signs.  We put it on Craig’s list.  I insisted that we were not going to make this a bait and switch either.  People were free to eat on Sunday and then go canoeing on the river or to their own house of worship.  If they wanted to stay with us for church – that was great.  We didn’t attract multitudes for that either but one day a man on a bike pulled up for breakfast.

He looked out of place in this small semi-rural town.  He came in and said, I saw the sign.  I said have a seat.  One of the men started talking to him.  I started two large Belgium waffles for him.  I gave him some OJ.  He ate as if he hadn’t seen food in a long time.

He told us his unbelievable story.  I did believe him, even though it was unbelievable.  He was riding a bike from Nashville to Little Rock.  He had slept in the bathroom in the park until a trooper found him and told him to leave.  We packed a sandwich for him, gave him some fruit, chips and water.  We prayed for him.  He cried.  He said he’d known the Lord but his light had been hard.  Some of the people tried to get him to stay for the service.  I said no.  I said it’s a long way from Pegram TN to Little Rock.  He probably should start peddling that bike. 

I know this story is a far cry from a story of real compassion.  However, I think it was one time that I was moved with compassion.  It was a time when I was moved to action.  Not some spiritual hype type action, but concern for a fellow human being who needed food and to be blessed.  We gave what we could.  I have no idea what ever become of him.  I don’t know if he made it to Little Rock.  And yes, I am a skeptic at times, so I don’t know what part of his story was true and what wasn’t.  I do know he was hungry and I gave him food.

Some Days Loving Others Hurts! - Using Your Gifts

The faint beeping of a heart monitor,  the squeak of a crooked gurney wheel, and the smell of antiseptic played with my senses. At the nurses station, I asked for room 301. There is something authoritarian about the set up - an environment of methodical control shrouded in the chaos of suffering and healing.

It was my first visit to a member of my church in the hospital. I had just returned from an amazing healing conference and I was on fire for God. I felt like I could empty the place out. So I went in the room, and there sat a fellow that I didn't know well. We chatted for a bit; small talk mostly. There I stood with my Bible, and not much else to say. I asked if I could pray. I sort of felt defeated when he said that pastor had already been there and had prayed for him. I thought to myself, "we'll you're still sick." I mumbled a prayer; not expecting too much. Then I excused myself, and went home.

Part of the problem was that I was without compassion. I was simply looking to get God to heal this man. I didn't really care about him - well not like one of my own kids.

This week, your faithful Kingdom bloggers are going to write about compassion. I am sure that it will be a deep and inspiring week of Kingdom blogs.

Not many years later I went to ministry school. I had finished Bible school in the 80's and some classes at the seminary. The call of God on my life was deepening as I lived through the 90's. Now it was time to learn how to minister, not just preach a message, or learn theology. Our weekly classes including teaching on character, the spiritual gifts, and always had a time of impartation and healing. I was learning to hear God's voice, and God was starting to do some exciting stuff.

After a few months, we finally had a class on listening. It used a popular scale of listening that included 8 steps. I couldn't do it. I didn't know what empathy or compassion was. I felt horrible. No wonder people didn't sense my love! I only knew how to identify with others feelings - to compare them to my own. What I needed to learn was how Jesus saw them.

I went home and felt like such a failure as a Christian - and I felt like hypocrite.

I began to pray - wishing God would just fix me - the easy way out. Lord you need to show me how to really care about someone. All I could think of was loving my neighbor as myself - and I wasn't loving me all that well in those days.

If you follow my blogs, you know that I went to Brazil to minister a few times. The first time I as there, we did a meeting at the Presbyterian Church in Londrina. There were about 400 folks there and the spirit of God was amazing! I came to a man in line, and I just knew that he had killed his father. So, I said to him, "what you have done to your father, the Father in Heaven forgives you." He fell to his knees and wept for most of the meeting. I didn't get all the details, but he was desperate for the forgiveness.

As I was reflecting on what had happened, the Lord softly spoke to me. "David, it is my compassion that the world needs, not yours." I stayed awake most of the night just pondering that.

Finally, I asked God, "all I need to do is have your compassion?"

"And my love, and my grace, and my healing for it is all in the Holy Spirit which is already in you."

I confess it took a few more years to get that the new man was already perfect, loving and compassionate and all I needed to do was let him out.

Today I let the Lord decide how he wants me to spend my love, my grace and my compassion. In recent weeks, he has given me three guys for which I am supposed to be praying. One lost his job and is in a tight spot. Another is suffering from kidney failure and regularly requires dialysis. The third is suffering from a serious form of cancer. He's had 2 rounds of chemo therapy, radiation and a surgery to remove half his lung - and his tumor got bigger.

Sometimes the compassion of the Lord is just communicating His love. It is connecting with the Father on the behalf of someone else and hoping and having faith that Father will do what we cannot. I do that with prayer, phone calls, text messages and emails. I have discovered that you don't really have to know someone well to have compassion - well except for Jesus.

How about you, do you want to pray for my friends too?

A Spiritual Resolution for the Saints - Compassion through God's Eyes

Knowing a week ago that the topic of this blog would be on spiritual resolution made me a little nervous….Resolution huh?? Oh my goodness its one of those things I have to attempt to keep New years resolutions have more often been things I have broken then kept…. And of course its not any resolution its a “spiritual” resolution…The definition of resolution in the Webster’s Dictionary is…A decision to do something or behave in a certain manner…Well, that eases my mind a little, it doesn’t say to commit to something or make a covenant about something….I want to believe that resolutions are intended to be kept and the people that make them have intentions to keep them…What is it about The New Year that gets us excited for new beginnings, suddenly we are ready to get things in order, lose weight, adjust our finances, blah, blah, blah….Then as suddenly as the desire comes in for change it begins to fade away…..Sad, sad, sad but true!!!

Anyways…..Enough stalling Michelle……Talking to myself is a bad habit!!.. :)

2010…The Year of the Lord…This has been stirring in my spirit for several months. This is not only a holiday that will bring in the “sense” of new beginnings. I believe this is the beginning, the beginning of a spiritual shift, a spiritual awakening, an out pouring of Gods power it is the year of The Lord!! So where does my spiritual resolution fit in to this up and coming season??

My spiritual resolution is this….To prepare ye the way of the Lord!! I am committed to allow the transforming power of the gospel of Jesus Christ to be expressed through my words, attitude and actions I am willing to pray without ceasing and seek after the kingdom and all of its righteousness….This seems to be a lot and a bit intimidating however, the driving force behind this resolution is every soul that is without the peace of God and the gift of salvation…With 2010 coming and the word of the Lord being ..”Prepare the way for my coming”, doesn’t that mean to get His people ready, “all” people….Luke 19:10 reads, “The son of Man came to seek and save what was lost.”…Are we not called to be like Christ? We are expected to have the same heart of compassion as Christ has for all humanity...To prefer others over ourselves...With that being my resolution I have a challenge for you… Where ever you are grocery store, mall, work, ask the Holy Spirit to give you the compassion of Christ for every person you can see. Ask Him for His heart and His eyes, then wait (patiently) you will begin to feel sorrow, fear and COMPASSION! Do not turn away keep pressing through, look into their souls. Maybe this years resolution will concern the change of others and not ourselves, maybe this year our resolutions will make a difference in the world…This year isn’t about us at all its going to be the year of the Lord! Happy New Year Saints of God!!!