Visiting Jesus by Jenna Vick Silliman

Charli & Jenna at Sherwood Nursing Home

Every week my friend, Charli, and I go into several nursing homes to visit the elderly. We carry in with us some joy, laughter, singing, dancing, and a breath of fresh air. We wear colorful clothing and fun costumes and we go into the “Special Needs” unit where they are locked in. They are imprisoned two ways, by those doors, with their numbered codes, and by dementia and/or Alzheimers. Usually they respond to our cheery “Good morning!” with a blank stare.

Jesus said, “When you visit people in prison and when you visit the sick and bedridden, you are visiting Me.” (Adapted from Matthew 25.) Wouldn’t you like to visit Jesus today? The elderly in nursing homes would love to see you!  

Thomas is one of the men we see each week. At first he doesn’t seem to hear you when you talk to him or even know you are there when you touch his hand. When we start singing some fun songs, like ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game’ or ‘Oh Susanna’ some of the elderly will sing along right away, but not Thomas. He is in an advanced state of Alzheimers—trapped inside his mind and unable to have much interpersonal communication with others any more. One day we were singing our national anthem. We were almost done with the song, when I noticed Thomas was mouthing the words. Since he is hard of hearing, I knelt down by him and began to sing loudly.

“Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet shine…” Thomas continued to move his mouth and we began to hear his voice for the first time. By the last line he joined us in a full deep voice, “…And the home of the brave.” He not only was singing, he had lost his blank look and you could see in his eyes he was present and “back” with us for awhile. I stayed right close to him and we sat face to face. Thomas asked, “Do you visit often?” I told him we would be back next Wednesday to do some more singing with him. He said, “I will be here.” We laughed. His face relaxed and we chatted for a few more minutes. We sang a few more songs together. He seemed to know the patriotic songs, so I asked about his military career. He loved telling me about it. Thomas was out of prison for a little while. This is called, “Entry”. He had entered the present for a while.

The Alzheimers patient may not remember what he had for breakfast, but he will remember words to songs and know all the verses too! They have taught us words to songs and even extra verses we didn’t know about. If they played an instrument, you might see their hands moving as if they played their instrument.

Very few of these patients ever have visitors. I had one of the activity directors tell me that over 90% never have anyone come in to visit. One exception is Kay. Kay is 97 and her sister, Marguerite, is 90 and she visits her sister a couple times a week. They gave me permission to post their photograph and tell their story. They were not very close when they were young because of the difference in their ages. As they got older that changed. When you are an adult, seven years is not such a big deal. They became close friends and lived together in North Western Washington State after their husbands passed away. When we arrived Marguerite was passive and unresponsive. I noticed her “entry” as we sang an old favorite song, “We ain’t got a barrel of money, sometimes we’re ragged and funny, but we’re travelin’ along, singin’ a song, side by side.”

Marguerite rested her head back on the head rest of her wheel chair and looking right in my eyes she said, “Ah! I like that song. Would you sing it again?” It is hard to sing when you’re crying, but I managed to swipe at my eyes and take a couple of deep breaths so I could sing the verse. (This verse was actually taught to me by a man named Jefferey in another nursing home we visit.)

They’ve all had their quarrels and parted,

But we’re still the same as we started.

We’re travelin’ along,

Singin’ our song,

Side by side!

When her younger sister, Marguerite, came in to visit after Kay and I had been singing together, she was delighted to have time with her dear sister while she was “present”. She wheeled her off quickly to enjoy some conversation. She smiled at me and said, “Thank you!” It makes me so happy to remember this and spurs me on to do more sing-a-longs in nursing homes.

A woman named Doris was always very grouchy. She often asked us to leave or said mean things like, “You’re not singing that right—I think it is time for you to leave!” One day I noticed her hands moving as if she was leading a choir. I invited her up front and she lit up. As she led us in singing, as our choir director, she relived some happy memories when she was doing what she loved. Not only was she joyful and cheerful, she was present…let out of her prison for a little while. Doris died not too long ago and we miss her every week. It makes me happy to think we gave her some joy and fun to lead us in singing in the last days of her life. I know Jesus was smiling too!

May I encourage you to go into a nursing home and visit the elderly? Remember you are visiting Jesus!

ARK - Acts of Random Kindness

It’s funny how things you think you know and understand, like compassion can become very complex when you stop to think about it.  You think about all those times you thought you should have had more compassion.  Or you think about times you dug in your pocket and gave someone some change or a few dollars and you thought you were compassionate.

I remember being a workshop speaker at a retreat before I left Connecticut.  I remember I talked about compassion.  I talked about how Jesus did miracles when He was moved with compassion.  I remember really hammering that thought home.  I thought I really understood compassion.

I like to think I am a really compassionate person.  When I think though of say a Mother Teresa, I realize I’m probably not that compassionate after all.  Compassion involves something much more personal, much more self-sacrificing than just feeling sorry for someone or giving them your spare change, food that you don’t want in a food drive or saying a prayer for a sick person.

Compassion implies action.  A few years ago as I was pastoring a church in Tennessee I wanted to be known as a church that was compassionate.  We had gotten almost by mistake some stuff about ARK – Acts of Random Kindness.  It had some connection to the movie Evan Almighty with Steve Carrell.  This ARK campaign wanted to help promote the movie as well as promoting acts of kindness.  I liked that.  I prayed about what we could do as a church.

Our church met in the coffee shop I owned.  We did breakfasts, full breakfast, excellent breakfasts at really reasonable prices.  The business never did that well.  We underpriced ourselves and were in a relatively rural community that preferred greasy meat and three food.  (For those of you not from the South, a meat and three is a restaurant dive that serves you the meat of the day with three veggies, like overcooked carrots, greens, okra, mushy squash, and the like.)  The church would come in on Sunday morning and often my few parishioners decided they were hungry too.  I tried to keep them from the muffins and such but I never succeeded.  I tried to avoid making coffee drinks besides regular coffee.  Again, I had little luck.  After all, why meet in a coffee shop if you aren’t going to eat too.

Then it hit me.  Why not offer free breakfasts on Sunday.  I thought okay, our church folk were already eating food free but how did we find “poor” people to feed.  Then it hit me.  The Bible only says to feed the hungry.  It doesn’t say only feed poor hungry, it just said, feed the hungry.  So up went the signs.  

Free Breakfast on Sunday

God invites you to Free Breakfast on Sunday

Join me for Free Breakfast on Sunday – God

We had banners and signs.  We put it on Craig’s list.  I insisted that we were not going to make this a bait and switch either.  People were free to eat on Sunday and then go canoeing on the river or to their own house of worship.  If they wanted to stay with us for church – that was great.  We didn’t attract multitudes for that either but one day a man on a bike pulled up for breakfast.

He looked out of place in this small semi-rural town.  He came in and said, I saw the sign.  I said have a seat.  One of the men started talking to him.  I started two large Belgium waffles for him.  I gave him some OJ.  He ate as if he hadn’t seen food in a long time.

He told us his unbelievable story.  I did believe him, even though it was unbelievable.  He was riding a bike from Nashville to Little Rock.  He had slept in the bathroom in the park until a trooper found him and told him to leave.  We packed a sandwich for him, gave him some fruit, chips and water.  We prayed for him.  He cried.  He said he’d known the Lord but his light had been hard.  Some of the people tried to get him to stay for the service.  I said no.  I said it’s a long way from Pegram TN to Little Rock.  He probably should start peddling that bike. 

I know this story is a far cry from a story of real compassion.  However, I think it was one time that I was moved with compassion.  It was a time when I was moved to action.  Not some spiritual hype type action, but concern for a fellow human being who needed food and to be blessed.  We gave what we could.  I have no idea what ever become of him.  I don’t know if he made it to Little Rock.  And yes, I am a skeptic at times, so I don’t know what part of his story was true and what wasn’t.  I do know he was hungry and I gave him food.