There have been several times that I have fallen asleep at church. And there have been several different ways I have been woken up:
- With a hand full of drool
- After my head jerked back
- With ink on my face. ( I think it was one of my kids)
- After a stranger tells me that I had been snoring.
- After the congregation was dismissed.
At the beginning of service, when someone feels its all right to interrupt me when during worship, I make it a point during the sermon to interrupt their note taking and ask them their name, about their family, how they heard of this church, where they work...
During worship, particularly in a more 'stiff' church, I will do the running man, the electric slide or the hokey pokey as I dance unto the Lord.
Before He begins his sermon, most pastors tells the congregation to take time to introduce ourselves to each other, so I like to approach the pastor and worship leader up front and ask them their name, about their family, how they heard of this church, where they work...
During the sermon, I will fill out the visitors packets with friends' information. Or count the number of times a preacher will say amen.... aloud.....in Spanish. OR I have asked my kids to count the number of times the preacher says amen, knowing they will let the rest us know the tally. If the sermon seems to be going in circles or I will call the cellys of the people I know that I think might be in church to see if they have their ringers off. I have used the church directories that are provided at the information booth when I have visited a church for the first time. It is particularly amusing when it is someone up front that has there celly go off. One last thing, by far the most outrageous and potentially hazardous is if my wife, Nikki puts her purse out of her reach. I will call her celly to see if she has her ringer turned off. When it's not, I then, very dramatically, act embarrassed.
And then just for my own amusement, at the end of service when we are told to step into the aisle and hold hands of the people next to us, I make it a point when the pastor prays for the person on my left, to squeeze the hand of the person on my right and vice versa. Or, if I wanna shake up the prayer team a little, I may ask for hands to be laid upon me in prayer for healing for lice, dandruff, hemorrhoids or jock itch.
Honestly, Sunday service ain't that bad and I don't view it as a time to entertain myself. My wife will get annoyed when my mind wanders and I pull out the celly and update my fantasy team or facebook. There are times that my short attention span will get the better of me but I would never have done anything like I have just written about. Or have I?