Up or Down

"It is those types of incendiary comments that prevents us from moving forward and advancing the dialogue of peace" she said with her head tilted in disgust.

"I find it deplorable that you are unwilling to make concessions that would benefit the majority" he quickly retorted. Without stopping he took control of the discussion with a tiring list of statistics and opinion polls that would overwhelm Sean Hannity.

"The disincentives that have been forced upon a minority in this house are inexcusable and are based in selfishness." she declaring now standing with both her hands on her hips.

While still dismissively waving his hand to combat her strong tone and posture he replied, "Your person is your responsibility, not mine! If I am to be held culpable for all the woe that befalls you now, when will I be absolved from being your personal guardian? Clearly, your agenda is not limited to hindering my inalienable rights but to usurp them "

After a very pronounced sigh and a slow shaking of her head, she spewed a rant with such repugnance that Keith Olbermann would plagiarize. After a lengthy pause she concluded, "It is imperative that a stand be taken now to prevent your fascist ideals from taking root and destroying the liberties and responsibilities which others have worked so hard to establish and ensure."

I finally could not take it anymore. I had to turn off the tv because I could no longer endure the fruitless 'debate'. "Logan start putting the toilet seat up before you potty or else sit down when you do."

What? You can't imagine my 7 and 6 year old debating the merits and responsibilities of putting the toilet seat up in such a manner? To me this sort of 'dialogue' is a real and constructive as a lot of the 'debates' that are on tv, radio and online

The sports and politics 'news programs' seem to be no longer about informing viewers but in promoting the opinions of 'experts'. These 'experts' bolster their agendas with words and tones that are not engaging but are intended to spurn any other view point. And if the expert's opinions are not enough to hold our attention, we can go online, text or call in our opinion. This allows us to make sure our 'voice is heard' on issues that will continue to be issues long after the 'polls' have closed.

Somehow, by knowing my opinion is 'supported' by a percentage of others that happen to be listening, reading or watching the same source I am is supposed to comfort to me?

It seems our culture disguises opinions as facts and rants as discussions. Too easily, I get caught up in conversations that become competitions. Too easily, I lose focus of what is really productive and get caught up in the futility of trying to prove that my view point is the only view point anyone should have.

Way too easily, I forget how foolish I look and the responsibility my words have.

Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent;

with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.

Proverbs 17:28

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak,

they will give account of it in the Day of Judgement.

Mathew 12:36

Supertastic Leadership

I have learned more about God since becoming a Dad.  I have come to understand how He can love me even when I am at my absolute worst or most rebellious.  I understand the need for Grace and how it should never be earned, but given freely.  The love I have for my kids cannot even compare to the Love that God has for each one of His kids.

 Every night, each one of prays for all the moms and dads, all the grandmas and grandpas and all of our family and friends.  With the blended family and the competitiveness between Naomi and Logan, we had to group all those outside of our house together just so prayers wouldn't last 2 hours. After each individual prayers for the groups, one at a time, we will lay hands on each other and pray that Jesus would bless each Supertastic.

Jensen, the youngest Supertastic at 18 month old, has recently begun 'joining' us in prayers. When each one of will begin laying hands on the rest of the family, he will put his hands upon his head.  Pretty amusing and pretty cool that Jensen is growing up in a house of prayer.

Now I could wind up this entry about leadership with a verse (Proverbs 22.6)and how important it is we are aware of all the eyes upon us.  But I wanna go a little deeper.

See, even before Jensen began 'praying' with us, he was already intimating my leadership. One day when I got home from work, Nikki told me how Jensen was stomping around the living room with a scowl, an angry tone barking "NOW" while jabbing his little index finger at Nikki, Naomi and Logan.  Both older kids agreed, "He looks like Daddy!"A couple of days later I got to witness Jensen's 'outrage'. I gotta admit it was pretty funny, but even more convicting.

Is this what Jensen saw more of out of me? Is that what my family saw me as?  An angry, demanding Dad, that could only get his point across through fear or intimidation?  Is this what my kids are gonna remember the most about? 

So I will conclude with two verses.  Two verses that can instantly lead to confession to my Dad in Heaven about the kind of Dad I wanna be.  The kind of Dad I am supposed to be.

The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.

Psalm 20.7

Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged; parents are the pride of their children.

Proverbs 17.6

Two Anniversaries

On August 24, 2007, Nikki and I got on our knees before God and each other and dedicated our love for Him and each other.  We didn't take it lightly, and we had refrained from sex while dating because we both had been a part of relationships that had started out with sex or were based upon sex. And those were all failures.  We knowingly and willingly allowed sin into a relationship.  Or we had begun a relationship with sex and selfishness and instant gratification and shallowness and stupidity and......

On September 21, 2007, Nikki and I stood before a Justice of Peace so our marriage would be recognized by the state of Iowa and my employer. Nikki took Logan as her son and I took Naomi as my daughter. A mere formality, but it was still cool to include both kids.  It was definitely a Jesus thing, because both Naomi and Logan were supposed to be with their bio parents that weekend.  Nikki and I had known we were gonna get married.  When her employer dropped Nikki's health insurance coverage, we pushed the date up and dropped the notion of an all out wedding.

What is kinda ironic is if I woulda had a gay lover named Nick, I coulda added him to my health insurance coverage no problem. But since I was dating a woman, a very wonderful woman, I could not put her on my coverage. In the eyes of Jesus, Nikki and I were already married. Its just that the state of Iowa and my employer didn't recognize us as husband and wife. And most importantly, Nikki and I recognized the importance of honoring Jesus in our relationship and asking Him to be a part of our lives before we became one.

But if you don't have enough self-control, then go ahead and get married. After all, it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

1 Corinthians 7.9

Things To Do In Church Besides Fall Asleep

I gotta admit, I struggle to sit through church service.  I love the worship but I despise how the flow of Holy Spirit is interrupted by announcements and the beggars bucket, errr, tithes and offering basket. I have heard some really great teachings, sermons, messages....  There have been a few times in which the Words preached convicted me and I ended up confessing a 'forgotten' sin or dozen.  But it is still tough for me to sit still for 30+ minutes in a stiff chair looking at the back of someone's head.  But amazingly in the past, I have easily fallen asleep in the same type of uncomfortable chair.

There have been several times that I have fallen asleep at church.  And there have been several different ways I have been woken up:

• With a hand full of drool
• After my head jerked back
• With ink on my face. ( I think it was one of my kids)
• After a stranger tells me that I had been snoring.
• After the congregation was dismissed.

In order to not repeat the embarrassment of similar situations as listed above, I have discovered a couple of things to do to keep my mind active and my eyes open.

At the beginning of service, when someone feels its all right to interrupt me when during worship, I make it a point during the sermon to interrupt their note taking and ask them their name, about their family, how they heard of this church, where they work...

During worship, particularly in a more 'stiff' church, I will do the running man, the electric slide or the hokey pokey as I dance unto the Lord.

Before He begins his sermon, most pastors tells the congregation to take time to introduce ourselves to each other, so I like to approach the pastor and worship leader up front and ask them their name, about their family, how they heard of this church, where they work...

During the sermon, I will  fill out the visitors packets with friends' information. Or count the number of times a preacher will say amen.... aloud.....in Spanish. OR I have asked my kids to count the number of times the preacher says amen, knowing they will let the rest us know the tally. If the sermon seems to be going in circles or I will call the cellys of the people I know that I think might be in church to see if they have their ringers off. I have used the church directories that are provided at the information booth when I have visited a church for the first time. It is particularly amusing when it is someone up front that has there celly go off. One last thing, by far the most outrageous and potentially hazardous is if my wife, Nikki puts her purse out of her reach. I will call her celly to see if she has her ringer turned off. When it's not, I then, very dramatically, act embarrassed.

And then just for my own amusement, at the end of service when we are told to step into the aisle and hold hands of the people next to us, I make it a point when the pastor prays for the person on my left, to squeeze the hand of the person on my right and vice versa. Or, if I wanna shake up the prayer team a little, I may ask for hands to be laid upon me in prayer for healing for lice, dandruff, hemorrhoids or jock itch.

Honestly, Sunday service ain't that bad and I don't view it as a time to entertain myself.  My wife will get annoyed when my mind wanders and I pull out the celly and update my fantasy team or facebook.  There are times that my short attention span will get the better of me but I would never have done anything like I have just written about.  Or have I?

Becoming a Dad

Growing up, my Dad's love was very conditional and constantly volatile. Insults and blows were more common than hugs and affirmation. The reason I mention that fact is because when I came to Jesus, I viewed God in the same light as my Dad. God had to be hard to please, quick to punish and constantly disappointed by all my shortcomings.

I mean, He is Father God, so of course He will have the same temperament, compassion and touch as my own dad, right? Somehow I was unable to completely shake this errant view of God many years into my Faith.

I became a Dad in 2005, when I met my son Logan. He was 14 months old on April 16, 2005 when I saw and held him for the first time. In the state of Iowa's eyes I was already a dad because they required that I pay back child support since January 14, 2004. However, at the advice of some family and friends, I did not become involved in Logan's life until DNA verified my fatherhood. Interesting, how Iowa could take months to confirm me as Logan's Dad but only took days to garnish my wages.

Anyways, after becoming a Dad, I began to see my Dad in heaven a lot differently. I began to understand how God could love me when I messed up, even when I messed up intentionally and no matter how big mess I could make. Sorta like the time I woke up to hundreds of post it notes all over the carpet.  I started to understand the concept of 'a thousand years from now, will this really matter?'. I accepted the fact that I could be patient and caring even when Logan did something stupid. Like the time he shoved a lego up his nose.  Initially I was baffled by the request and then annoyed by his anxiety when he pleaded for my help but I managed to be comforting as we worked together to dislodge the piece of plastic. If I can be that way in during an episode of stupidity, then how much more care and patience would a Holy Dad give me during one of my thoughtless episodes?

I have also realized how important my love and affection for God is to Him. When my young son could outta nowhere declare "I love you, Daddy!" and then flip his attention back onto the coloring book. I understood how my spontaneous praise or a wanting to just rest in His presence could bless Him. Similar to the time I was washing dishes and without any words Logan made me feel so loved by walking up to me and thrusting his arms up in the arm, 'begging' me to pick him up. I didn't hold him very long, 90 seconds at most, but it is still a memory that brings a smile to my face when I reflect upon it.

Most of all, how my son as been influential in my relationship with God has been learning that God is slow to anger and quick to forgive. Now, I aint gonna front, the only one with a quicker temper in my house than Logan, is me. But it is through some of my greatest weaknesses and the weaknesses of those around me that I see God at His strongest and most loving. One time in particular in which Logan was melting down, that I felt overwhelmed with love and compassion for him. My thoughts and feelings of anger and annoyance were washed away with peace and love. I felt the little guy's pain and frustration as he couldn't put words to his emotions and confusion. I understood how God could love me in spite of the nasty tantrums I had thrown and the horrible things I said to Him out of my own inability to put words to my emotions.

After becoming a Dad I can understand and appreciate why God persists in a relationship with me and it is after becoming a Dad that I can appreciate the Love and Mercy He gives me.

The Lord is like a father to His children,tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust.

Psalm 103:13-14