I Still Have a Voice, After I Said My Last Amen" by Linda Maynard

We are confident I say, and willing rather to be absent from

the body and to be present with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:8

Years ago, I made the decision that I am going to donate my body to Medical Science when I die.

 As we each are writing our own eulogy on Kingdom Bloggers, I decided to write mine as a “conversation” between myself and Katrina, an actual Medical Student from New Zealand.

These are words of Katrina…”For me, dissection was the first time in my medical career that someone had placed enormous trust in me. This person had trusted me to respect their body and to use it wisely

“Dear Lady, when I saw you lying still and naked, it took my breath away. I was a little afraid, but I approached the table to get a closer look at you. I wanted to be all scientific minded, you know kind of hardened.  I couldn’t do it. I felt admiration for you. I know my father, a doctor would be proud of a decision I made at that moment .With skills and abilities; I would try to be an excellent doctor. I would now never forget that my patients are more than a case number.

To know that you would approach this respectfully makes my decision to help further the study of medicine, the right one.”

“Just so you know a few things about me, as you go about your “business.” I was a wife and mother. I was, according to my daughter in law, the best mother in law, anyone can ask for. I had 2 adored grandchildren. I had a sister, 3 brothers and a myriad of relatives that come from their unions. I was a friend and a neighbor. I was a sister in the Lord, to the Body of believers. I was an artist. I loved to write. I had been a clown and liked to joke and make people laugh. I graduated from the school of life’s experiences. I was more importantly a student of the Word of God. And last and most importantly, I am a beloved Child of God.”

“As I look at your heart Dear Lady, I can see what is before my eyes, but is there more? I imagine that you have had a heart filled with love…Did you feel you could not contain it? None of us can escape from rejection… did your heart feel sadness? Did you withdraw? Had it experienced the deep grief of losing loved ones who died before you? Did your heart still beat with a pitter patter when your husband came into a room before he died?”

“You are an intuitive young woman. You discern what the human eyes can’t see. That gift is going to serve you well in your profession.”

Maybe I should forewarn you about some “hardware” in my body. I had a hip replacement and a back surgery in my 50’s. It involved fusion with a plate and screws and an artificial hip. The two doctors who performed these surgeries were skilled. They had a wonderful bedside manner. I was miraculously relieved of pain that I had suffered since I was a teen Sadly, medical science seemed inadequate to diagnose my issues sooner. Even more painful than that, is that I encountered Doctors would didn’t believe me. Please don’t do that to your patients they would rather hear an honest “I just don’t know” rather than to be suspected of lying. They gave me a new life back.”

Katrina is quiet. She is pondering what she has just heard and thinks it is wise to remember it.

“Katrina, my arms didn’t simply lay at my sides. They have hugged many people. Some needed comfort or a sense of safety. Others wanted to share joyous news. My lips were the vehicle for tender kisses that my husband and I shared. I used them with my children and my grandchildren to get them to pucker up. Even though you can’t see my eyes, they were a window to my soul. When I suffered depression, it was evident to those around me. Yet as clear as day, when the Light came…they became brightly illuminated.  My womb carried three children, where they grew in safety. My shoulders were a place for others to lay their heads when they were tired or needed to cry. My legs were the vehicle that walked me down the aisle in a church to meet my husband in marriage. I ran after my children at play and I paced the floor worrying about them, while they were sick. There was a time that I ran away from God. I was scared and felt unworthy but I am glad to tell you that He found me. Remember this Katrina, no one can out run Him”

“Dear lady, why is it that I don’t view you as an assignment? I dare say, it almost feels like I am standing in a sacred place, beside you. My childhood minister talked about holiness. I didn’t know what he meant.  I just sense awe and a power here with you. “

“Katrina, what you are saying is true. You are on Holy Ground. You are learning that a person is not the shell that you see before you but the true essence of a person is their spirit. My spirit is away at home with my Loving God. He, who captured my heart, is longing to find a home in your heart too…and death will be no more.”

 “The last day in the dissection room was a memorial service for those who had donated their bodies…At this service we learned the identities of people who taught us so much. "