Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Too Many Free Days

My life is mostly free days. Seriously, sometime I really think I need a life.  Everyone has this image of me as very busy.  I’m not.  I spend a lot of time baking in order to fill up my time.  To me there is nothing better than a loaf of fresh bread rising or the beauty of a homemade Lemon Meringue Pie.  I’ll probably make both in the coming week. 

I prefer to be busy.  I’d prefer to have the chaos of my previous life.  I loved the energy of getting up in the morning and going to a job that had much purpose, meaning, and challenge.  It seems so odd that when our small house was full of children I would get them off to school and then off to my job.  After work there was always church, a committee meeting, a game, a project, or something.  I remember one time coming home rather tired from work, setting my bag by the door, and my granddaughter who was about two at the time running up to me and saying “Nana, you go cook.”

Suppertime often meant cooking for 10, or 12, or even 15 or 17 people.  My “rule” was, if you were at my house at suppertime you were welcome to eat.  We had kids “live” with us for extended periods.  Our house was like the old woman who lived in the shoe.

Now it’s me, my husband, and Pebbles our dog.  Pebbles greets me looking for treats rather than hungry children.  I fix oatmeal for my husband and supper at night but it’s hard to fix food for two.

I have the question of what to do with a free day every day.  I often fail miserably in my choices.  I have studying to do, but I put it off for another day.  I could be praying.  I could be taking long walks somewhere.  I could be volunteering.  I could be doing so many things.

I’m on a quest during this new year to find places of service.  Certainly, there is someone out there whose life I can touch.  My goal for the New Year is to find that place(s).  My goal is to be so busy that I need a “free day.”


It's Something Beautiful said...

I don't want to sound trite, but have you ever considered writing a book, combining your excellent culinary skills along with your powerful teaching gift?
I am/was ( I guess you never lose the skill) a floral designer.
I remember hearing a testimony of a woman who was a floral designer. As she began, and then added to her creation, each component related to her walk with the Lord, along with Godly truths. It was memorable. Everyone loved it.
Think of Jill Austin. She had a far reaching and powerful world-wide ministry. Her ministry started out, as she used her Pottery Skills and Demonstrations ( live to an audience) to demonstrate the truth and power of God's Word. Besides that, she also used that skill and knowledge, in at least one book she wrote.
I know you have been extremely frustrated. You have so much to offer. Your experiences are rich in value. I pray that 2012 will be a year in which they can be displayed and used to their fullest.

Andrea York said...

In a way, I understand how you feel. When I first entered my season of rest, I felt out of place. Like you, I was built for more. I had a friend who tried to keep pace and a mutual elderly friend said to my friend, "Dear, you're not Andrea."

Quite frankly, I squandered the first year because I didn't know who to be if I wasn't doing something. I'm grateful the Lord gave me more years but this year, I know the season is probably over. I'm starting to feel the itch to do more and greater things, on a larger scale than I had before.

I can read in your writing you feel under-utilized for all the effort you've made into your education and training. The Lord doesn't tarry; you will yet have a full ministry and opportunity to use everything God has prepared you for.

Bless you, and I can't wait to walk the road with you and watch you discover the plans he has for you.

Doug Spurling said...

Thousands of years in preparation for three years of public ministry changed the world. Last night I sat and watched the stars - it looked like I was doing nothing. But I was busy. I told my wife, I'm writing a book in my head. What the world may see as down time is really a time to tune in to the Lord's call. Even rocking in a chair in prayer can travel the world and reap rewards.