Just like in the story of Forrest Gump, I also had a period of running...and running...and running some more. And just like him, I wasn't running to reach a destination. I was running from a number of different things in my self-induced pathetic life.
While my running was metaphoric and not necessarily literal, the attempted escape also contained a huge Jonah element as whale...I mean well. My faith in God's plan for my life had faltered. Then my faith as a whole began to waiver. In my heart I never forgot who God really was, but in my head the doubts of his all-knowing, ever-present love began to multiply.
So I ran.
I've never been a fugitive from justice and can only image the constant fear and anxiety of being caught. As bad as that would be, not even that could possibly come close to the harsh emptiness and fear of living outside of God's will. If hell can be experienced on Earth, I unfortunately know where it can be found.
Also much like Forrest Gump, I don't claim to be the brightest star in the sky. Many of life's lessons I've had to learn from experiencing them the hard way...too stubborn to learn from the mistakes of others. But God knows me better than any person ever could. Even me. Let me state that I believe I have a choice in all matters of life. God blessed me with that ability just as He did each of you. I also don't believe God makes bad things happen to us. No. We are way too adept of that accomplishment all on our own. But thankfully...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. I Corinthians 13:4
After far too many years, I stopped running in 2002
I can't imagine being any other way than the way I am today. Far from perfect...but with a much deeper understanding of who God wants me to be. When you let go and let God take control, stop focusing on the direction you want for your life, and submit to the plan God has for you...there's no need to be looking over your shoulder in fear. You don't have to run away from things...just run to Him.
3 comments:
You almost look like Tom Hanks... sort of.
Thanks for coming home to Him and be a blessing to us!
Tony
Your post always bless me and I will tell you why.
You are the "real deal". You are gut level honest and you don't try to impress anyone.
You tell it like it is...warts and all.
I like that Tony, we need moe people in the Body of Christ to admit...they struggle, they have not arrived BUT they keep goin on. And that is your strength...you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Thanks
Linda
Thank you Linda for your extremely kind words. All the credit goes to an awesome God who has patience with all His black sheep. Praise His name!!
That's my dad David...
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