It's just really not that difficult when you think about it...

Yours truly could run an entire blog themed on this week's subject matter for Kingdom Bloggers. Unfortunately, there are far too many examples of disobedience in my spiritual life, but as the popular radio song goes...God's not finished with me yet.

I almost immediately knew what I was going to write about this week because God recently put me to the task. For several weeks, I kept running into the same person at an unusual frequency. I graduated high school with this person back during the Industrial Revolution, and we went a number of years without seeing or hearing from each other. Over the past year or so, this person (I'm remaining sex neutral for a reason) and I started bumping into each other at Wal-Mart, the grocery store, the mall and even once at a restaurant. After several times, we would just see each other and laugh...eventually avoiding the small talk altogether by just throwing up a polite hand in acknowledgment of one another.

Coincidence only goes so far in explaining such encounters, that is if you believe in coincidence. Deep down I knew God wanted me to talk to this person on a more personal level. During my prayer time, this person would often come to mind...now that's got to be God trying to tell you something! But still...the awkwardness of broaching the subject matter of God with the person at a haphazard meeting was daunting.

Finally, I realized the problem for me was rooted in who I had been when this person and I shared a common past. My failure to let go of the 'old Tony' was hampering the new me from being obedient to God...whom I now served. I commited to having a testimonial conversation with this person the very next time we met face to face.

Weeks went by, then months. Pretty soon the better part of a year was gone. The opportunity to redeem myself with obedience seemed to have vanished. I tried being more proactive by asking friends about this person, searching for a telephone number or address, and even looking through a then new medium called MySpace. Nothing. I was crushed by the thought of disappointing the One who has never disappointed me. I prayed for one more opportunity to make things right.

Nearly two years past when I received a Friend Request on FaceBook from this person. Bingo! I quickly accepted and sent a message of thanks for the request. My first inclination was to dump it all out there at once and completely atone for my prior disobedience...but then a feeling to wait came over me. Now, I'm no Rhodes Scholar or anything, but I am smart enough not to step in the same hole twice...well, most of the time. So, I took time to pray and ask God to guide me in this situation...and again I got 'wait'.

Several more weeks go by when I get a message in my Facebook Inbox from this person. The message conveyed surprise at the openness I displayed concerning my faith on the social media site, and how I must have changed from the Tony they once knew. Finally! I kept my reply loose and nonchalant...and replied that God had truly changed my life for the better. There were a couple of pleasant exchanges with one being a confirmation that my blog, Tony C Today, was evidence I hadn't lost my sense of humor.

I recently ran into this person again in Wal-Mart (I promise we don't use the retailer as a social site on purpose here in Tennessee...well, I don't at least), and after the necessary pleasantries...I finally talk about what God had done for me and how the same could easily apply to them.

No news yet...but I hope this person is reading today and knows how important they are to God and to me. Oh...and I'm truly sorry about my procrastination too. Some things just don't change with either time or faith...unless you really want them too.

Nausea As A Sign

When I was young someone wrote in a book this odd little poem:

God fixes a fix to fix you

If you fix the fix before its fixed

God will have to fix another fix to fix you.

I still don't understand what that means. I wish I did. You are welcome to comment and help me. 


I think it might have something to do with my understanding of disobedience. For many years I saw God as this harsh Being who was ready to clobber me every time I did something wrong. I used to lay awake at night repenting over and over again for the minutest of sin. I had seen too many Left Behind type movies they used to show in churches -- the ones where those left behind face the guillotine and the like. As a child I was in terror when my Godly mother wasn't home when I returned from school. I would flip on the TV and watch for news of a rapture type event. Since there was no CNN in those days, the lack of a breaking news special report assured me that all was well. 

Don't misunderstand me, sin is serious. Disobedience is not something loving children of our Father should do. However, we do. Sometimes we squirm and try to avoid what God wants us to do. Other times we are much more blatant about it.


One time, many years ago now, I was wanting God to use me in church with a "word from the Lord." I really wanted God to use me in this gift. I had prayed about it and was wondering how I would know. Then it happened. It was a normal service and I had this impression. I thought I was supposed to say something. I waited. Someone else gave a word. This happened three times. Each time I never said anything. By the third time I thought I was going to throw up. 


That night, dejected and feeling very disobedient I drove home. I thought God will never use a disobedient child like me. I learned something that night. I learned that God knew that I wasn't going to be obedient. He had someone in the wings ready to take my place. I also learned that this was a training session. Like that session with the live bullets that people in Basic Training go through. There are times when we are in the thick of it, and we blow it. Its real and yes, we've disobeyed. 


That wasn't the end of the story. God still uses me in this way. He had patience with me. He fixed the fix for me. It did take years before I would be obedient before I felt nausea. I could always count on the nausea if I hesitated too long. Terrible way to know that God wants you to give a "word." But it worked. I trained well for the glory of God.