Rocket Man...burning out his fuse up here alone.

I had a dream as a young boy...

When Neil Armstrong stepped out of Apollo 11's Lunar Module in July 1969, I was sitting beside my grandmother watching on her black and white television. Although I was completely unaware at the time, she was dying from cancer and would take her own final trip just a few months later. I treasure that memory... and miss her today.

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be an astronaut. After a few flying lessons from a former Leatherneck pilot in an old cub prop plane, I was ready for the big show. I had it all mapped out. Through Vanderbilt University for commissioning in the USMC. Flight school. Carrier duty. Instructor School. Test Pilot Program. Astronaut Program. Space!

God had a different plan. I never made it to step two...vision 20-40...unacceptable for flight training.

Now don't get me wrong, I was crushed. But looking back at how NASA changed from the glory days of Apollo through the routine grind of Skylab to driving a space bus called the Space Shuttle, maybe my dream wasn't the only one that faded.

I changed majors from engineering to business after my flight school hopes were dashed. The USMC paid for my education, and in return I gave them five years of service. One more than I had to give. While I cherish my time and lessons learned as a Marine Officer, somehow I lost that enduring motivation to stay for a military career and left to go to law school in 1991...but I never went.

Being an attorney really wasn't my calling (though some would argue that fact) and in the midst of a very personal crisis, I never pursued enrollment in the schools that accepted me. There are absolutely no regrets in that statement...none at all.

Looking back at that fork in my path twenty years ago (something I rarely, if ever, do), it is far too evident to me just how immature around age thirty I really was. Shamefully evident. Serving God was not to be found anywhere in the picture of my life. Without going into dialog concerning eternal security, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if God had decided my time here was over during that dark phase. Thankfully...He didn't.

While I may not be living my childhood dream today, I am nonetheless living a dream life. My home is filled with love and happiness, my girls look forward to going to church each week and finding their own paths in God's will, and each night after a final word with my life's love, then one with my Father...I fall into a peaceful sleep realizing that if I don't wake up in this world the next morning...well...I'm a very, very blessed man.

You just don't need a spaceship for that dream.

From Glory to Glory

Wow - hard to believe I've been contributing to this blog for almost two years now - I came on in December of 2008 - my first blog KB blog is here.

It was David who reminded me of how many words have been spoken over my writing a book. I still haven't written it... but that's another story.  However, David believed in what God had spoken long before I did.  He encouraged me to write.  And I have.

A picture David took (stole it from his website) of me praying in Norway.
Unfortunately, he's not in the picture though... good times!

I never thought that of all the people that we went to Norway with in 2002 that David and I would be the ones who remained connected.  I don't know if he is still connected with anyone else from that trip - other than our leader and his wife, I know I'm not connected with anyone.  Even that connection is very superficial - life does move on.

Ahhh, Norway.  What a trip that was - so many things to say, so many memories.  All of them good!  except maybe looking at pickled herring at breakfast.  You'd think I'd be used to that growing up in a Norwegian home.

I'm sad.  I'm really sad that David is moving on.  Oh, I know we'll stay connected.  But somehow, change, even when it is for something good, is something that makes us sad.  God has kept His hand on David - forming, molding him, changing him, and now releasing him into greater things in God.  For that I rejoice with him.

I know you'll miss him too.  I think today of a verse that seems appropriate for those of us carrying on with KB:  being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6 NIV).  God used David (and Tony and David T) to start this good work - He'll complete it... As David moves on to greater things in God, my prayer for him is found in 2 Corinthians 3:18 And David, who with unveiled faces reflects the Lord's glory, continually being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (Paraphrase mine :)


From Glory to Glory David - 

Happy First Year Kingdom Bloggers...for His name and for His glory.

There was a time not so long ago I had the feeling of being overwhelmed come over me.

But then...haven't we all?

I spent a few days in prayer looking for guidance, maybe even relief from God. I sat down on that Friday morning to meet yet another weekly obligation and write my KB post that was already late.

For a reason I may never know this side of Glory, I felt lead early that week to do a storyboard video using the song The Change by Steven Curtis Chapman. The song had come on the radio while I drove to work one morning and stuck with me. I didn't even have it on my iPod.

Video production isn't anywhere close to a developed skill for me. I laugh even thinking about that statement. But the feeling to do was there in my gut, so I plowed forward. Over the course of several days, I worked on the project when I could, and instead of frustration from the process...I was blanketed with a feeling of peace. The song wouldn't leave my head after continuously listen to it over and over for days, but I never grew tired of the melody, the lyrics...the message.

When I finished, the video was posted to YouTube where to date it has amassed a little over 340 views. A far cry from the almost 15,000 views of the Bugs Bunny clip I posted where he's being chased by the Mad Scientist in the episode Water, Water Every Hare, but that is far from being relevant to this story.

So there I sat on Friday searching for words to type as the clock continued to tick. With many things to do before the day's end, I began to feel a stress. Like the proverbial light bulb going off overhead, I remember the video. Now I had spent way more time on the video than probably all of my post on KB combined, but that wasn't the point...was it?

A few clicks and my first video KB post is complete. Each work day at some point, I close my door and spend a few moments in prayer. On this day...I spent that time in praise and tears. No obligation is more important in life than those we have to God. In a way, I believe I was softly taken behind the woodshed for letting my priorities get out of sorts.

Is writing for Kingdom Bloggers that important?

I'm not qualified to answer that question. God will use all things for His purpose, and He has blessed me beyond all measure in my association with this blog and my fellow KB bloggers. He has proven to me that His people can be brought together from anywhere in the world using the internet, and that His love can equally shine for the world using the same tool.

I will never again allow myself to feel bogged down doing His work. Be it writing, practicing/playing drums for worship, preparing for a Sunday School lesson or spending time with a friend in need of His love...it all makes an eternal difference. What a privilege to be able to offer back even a very small contribution to such a grand plan! Thank you God for using me and my brothers and sisters on Kingdom Bloggers. We will never fail to give you the honor and glory for all we do in Your name.

Also, thank you so much for the change You made in me...

Confessions of a Former Pharisee

The longer the live, the more I realize that the adage about the only thing constant is change.  If we don’t change, we also don’t grow.  It’s interesting that our blog this week is about changing our mind, not our heart.  That’s good because only God can change the heart but we can change our minds.  And let me tell you from personal experience, that distance from my head to my heart is usually the hardest and longest trip of all.

I had a professor at Trevecca who never gave me a grade.  That was because I bailed out of his classes twice.  He had this reputation.  The guy was brilliant.  I would start a class and then say NOPE, this is going to kill my GPA and I don’t need this and out the door I’d go.  Nonetheless, he actually influenced me a lot.  Several things he said to me during my interactions with him are things that will never leave me.  One of those things was 

education will change you whether you want it to or not

I realize that the term “social justice” is not the most well liked phrases in certain circles of Christianity.  In others, it is their favorite phrase.  I grew up in the camp where saying social justice was akin to saying you were backslidden.  We firmly rejected eternal security, so being backslidden could be an everyday, even hourly event.  Christians were classified as truly saved or not.  Those who spoke of social justice were in the not category.

Before I go further, let me make sure everyone understands me.  I do believe in salvation through the free gift of God through faith in His son Jesus Christ.  I do not believe that there is anything I can do to earn my salvation nor can I work off my sins.  But I have discovered much to my shock that social justice is not a dirty word.

As I plunged into Old Testament classes and as I plunged into the learning of Hebrew, I discovered a recurrent theme.  God cares about justice.  God cares about how we treat each other.  God wants us to take care of widows, orphans, the outcast, etc.  Then as I took the course in the gospels of Matthew and Mark, from an equally hard professor as the one I would bail out on, I saw that Jesus miracles were not for show – they were to meet the needs of real people.  There were people hungry and Jesus fed them.  There were people marginalized, troubled and in pain, and Jesus healed, delivered and fellowshipped with them.  It was about real people, with real needs.  It wasn’t some super spiritualized event.  It was about people… did you get that?  It was about people.  And it was about justice.  I was shocked!

When I was a girl I would go to the Salvation Army for Sunbeams, Girl Guards and Vacation Bible School.   I’ve written about this before, you can read it here.  I preached my first sermon during Girl Guards one Saturday morning.  I preached on John 3:16 and told my peers “you must be born again.”  I had this self-righteous notion in my head that the Salvation Army had become too liberal and was too concerned about social issues rather than preaching the gospel.  How foolish and arrogant I was for such a youngster.  I think I was about 13.  I remember the leader thanking God for reminding us of His salvation.  I felt so justified in my self-righteousness.  

But isn’t that what the Pharisees did as well?  I was a little Pharisee.

Now I know better.  Now I know that the gospel is also about feeding people, making sure kids don’t go hungry nor do adults, giving a coat that you don’t use anymore so a child or an adult can stay warm, it’s about loving people.  If we could just get that love part right, the preaching of the gospel would be heard.  Social justice is part of the gospel.  I never knew.  I’m no longer a Pharisee now that I know better.

What about you?  Are you a Pharisee?