Loving Words by Jenna Vick Silliman

Lately I’ve been thinking about how I want my words to be more loving and more life-giving. Looking in the Scripture we find hundreds and hundreds of Bible verses about what we say. Here are three ways to be more loving with our words.

The first is to think before we speak—to just slow down. I don’t want to rattle off any old words that come to my mind. Instead, why not think for a bit about what would be the most loving thing to say? If we really listen, and then take time to process what the person is communicating, we will have a much better response. “If anyone does not bridle his tongue, his religion is worthless.” (See James 1:26.)

I had a dream the other night that was quite unusual, so I wrote it down and prayed about what it might mean. Often God speaks to us in our dreams, so I didn’t want to miss what He had for me. I dreamed that as I walked around the upper balcony of a castle, I watched men practicing archery down below. They were missing the target over and over. Suddenly I vomited right into the face of one of the men. I hurried along, appalled at myself and then I did it again, and then a third time. Then I woke up. My impression was that God was giving me some gentle correction about how I “spew” my words over people and that they were missing the mark. I am a sensitive and intuitive person and I know if I slow down and take time to think before I speak, I can be much more loving and more of a blessing with what I say.

Secondly, is to live by this motto. “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything at all.” Our words can be cruel. God wants us to be kind. Turn every negative around into a positive. There is always something bad to say about people, but we can choose to look at the positive things and to make comment on them instead. Quietness is preferable to a negative remark. If something negative is being discussed, we can be silent, we can change the subject, or say “Excuse me for a minute.” When my brother died many people shared at his memorial that he never said anything bad about anyone. That inspired me. I want to be like that!

A third way to be more loving with our words is to be thoughtful about what we say. The Bible says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (See Proverbs 25:11.) I like to tell short testimonies or stories that are inspiring, encouraging, and give hope to people. I’m trying to give compliments to people more often too. To tell a struggling parent that you think they are an awesome mom or dad, may be just the encouragement they need to spur them on. I like to say “thank you” to teachers or someone who has helped me in some way. As I was leaving a folk dance class I said, “Thank you!” to one of the teachers. It came as a shock because no one had said thank you for about ten years! “Thank you”, “You’re awesome”, and “Good work” are all wonderful expressions to say often. Complaints are discouraging, but compliments are encouraging.

“A seed never looks like the plant. We often sow seeds into the lives of people, only to discover years later, that an orchard sprouted from our tiny investment. Never under estimate the value of a kind word, a compliment, or an act of generosity. Who knows what might be growing in the hearts of people because of you?” –Kris Vallotton

Thou Art Wordy

I don’t like being asked what is my favorite thing, from food to film to family member (don’t your kids ask which one you like best?). There are just too many things I like and love, even the odd relatives. But, it would be a cop-out to opt out of this week’s writing assignment--what I am most thankful for--just because I dislike narrowing things down. So, here goes: I am most thankful for...words.

I have loved words since I was a very young child. I wrote poetry and stories. My beloved first-grade teacher once asked me how I managed to create a certain poem. “I dunno,” I replied. “I just thunk it up in my head.” At age 8, I wrote a poem for my uncle in honor of his college graduation. It contained something about a wise owl. The adults were impressed, but no one framed the thing or tucked it into a memory book (do I sound bitter?).

Don’t judge me: I used to enjoy reading the dictionary and fancied becoming an etymologist. Yeah, kind of a geek, but since I enjoyed learning about history, it’s not a far stretch to be curious about the history of words.

We all have a ‘history of words’: words we hear and those we speak; those we read, and those we write; words we text and words we dictate. Maternal comfortings, excited expressions, stern warnings, friendly overtures, caustic playground comments, encouraging observations, bossy dictates, boring lectures, romantic proposals, angry outbursts, emotional speeches, children’s first words, furious arguments, powerful prayers, peaceful exchanges, inspiring sermons, funny commercials, hilarious stories, sad songs, worshipful services, last words.

There is much to be thankful for when it comes to words. I have precious word memories: my dad's greeting, “Hey, good-lookin'!” My husband's words of commitment on our wedding day, and every day since. My son, age 3: “You're the most beautiful mother I've ever had.” My daughter, looking at the changing leaves outside: “Those leaves are very colorly.” And another daughter, barely age 2: “You're so bad and so stupid.” Well, can't win 'em all! 

The Word of God in particular is so precious to me because it is alive, encouraging, instructive and helps me to know God. The Word is good: “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).  Words are important to God: “Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds” (Deuteronomy 11:18). “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).

Of course, not every word we speak is a gracious word: we can use words to hurt, twist truth, dismiss, destroy, abuse, propagandize, criticize, even to kill. That is why the Apostle James addresses misuse of  “the tongue” as a spiritual problem. We sin quite easily with our tongues and need to listen more and talk less. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry....Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:19, 26).

Keeping a tight rein on my tongue...ouch. Only God can help me with that. But, I am thankful for His Word--the Living Word Jesus Christ--for displaying for all of humanity, including me, that His gracious words can indeed bring healing to our soul and bones. 

The B.G.S.D.H.A.V.A.S.U.I.N. Award

My mother told me that I didn’t speak for a long time. It was not a developmental delay, rather others spoke for me. Crafty little girl, wasn’t I?

When I finally spoke, they were relieved, but my shyness remained. It wasn’t until I was quite a bit older, (maybe 2 year ago…just kidding) when I realized that people didn’t have a right to speak for me anymore.

I have a unique voice. I have something to say.

My confidence soared along with the beginning my relationship with the Lord.

I found myself speaking at Women’s Groups and other gatherings. I gave the eulogies at my mom and my dad’s funerals. After the services, I was given words of praise and remarks of “This isn’t the Linda we knew.” “Where did you get so bold?” “You used to be so quiet.”

I started to hear messages about sharing our faith, outside the walls of the church. I heard about Christians, tuning into what the Holy Spirit would tell them about other people. Did this person need encouragement? Did they need prayer for healing? And so on. I was intrigued. I wanted to be part of that courageous type of outreach.

When you say to the Lord, I want to do that, He takes you at your word. A new adventure in my faith began with my yes and continues to this day.

My first opportunity happened years ago.

I went to a Library.

As I walked into the study area, I noticed a young man sitting at a table.

I sat down and was into my paperwork, I sensed the voice of the Lord say, “Will you go over to that young man and tell him that I have a plan for his life. I have destined him for great things”

“YIKES!” I thought, “ A total stranger? How can I be sure this is You? What is he going to think of me? And besides Lord, I will be invading his space.” (New Englanders do not like that)

Yes, it became pretty quiet in my soul.

The Holy Spirit gently spoke again. “Are you willing to go over to him and tell him what I said?”

I am reiterating every reason why I could not. Besides, I felt kind of dizzy.  

Another period of silence ensued. The Holy Spirit asked me again.

I said “Ok Lord” I got up and started to walk towards him. I mean, I was so scared and shaky that I wanted to cry.

I introduced myself. I said something like “I am not sure where you stand with God. I am not sure if you even believe in Him but I’ve asked the Lord to show me people that He wants to encourage and bless. I believe that he pointed you out to me”

He didn’t punch me, so I rushed into the message. I continue with more. What happened and still happens today is this. If I speak the little the Lord gives me, He very often expands the words.

I stood there, waiting for him to mock me or dismiss me. What happened next astounded me. He grabbed me into a big bear hug. (He was a big boy!). He said “Mam, you have no idea what your words really mean to me!” “I have been called to be a Pastor.” “I have a successful career as a teacher. I have just been named Teacher of the Year. BUT, I have been running from God’s call on my life.” He continued talking excitedly. He hugged me again, at least two more times. He thanked me for having the courage to give him this message.

I felt such relief of the tension, I started to cry.

He mentioned how he could not wait to tell his wife. We exchanged addresses. A few months later, he wrote to tell me that he was quitting his job. He and his wife were going to complete their preparation for the ministry.

They have an established church in CT. I would guess it is over 15 years ago.

That began my adventure of being a mouthpiece for the Lord. Whether it is a stranger that the Lord points out to me or an acquaintance that I sense the Lord telling me needs encouragement, I have been obedient to speak out.

Is it easy? No, especially with strangers, I still get the runaway heartbeats. I try to talk my way out of it. Sometimes I hear the enemy taunt me with fear. I often doubt that I heard right. But still…I speak!

Try it! There is a world out there, desperate to hear the Words of Life!

By the way, the award I imagine that I would receive in heaven is...By Golly, She Has a Voice and Is Using It Now!

Linda Maynard