Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Gentleness is Careful


“Gentleness means recognizing that the world around us is fragile, especially other people. It is recognizing our own capacity to do harm and choosing instead to be tender, soft-spoken, soft-hearted, and careful. When we are gentle we touch the world in ways that protect and preserve it. Being gentle doesn't mean being weak; gentleness can be firm, even powerful. To behave in a gentle manner requires that we stay centered in our own values and strength -- that we are active rather than reactive. Coming from this center, a gentle word or touch can channel our energy into healing or making peace.” The Wisdom Page

This week, on Kingdom Bloggers, we are exploring the fruit of the Spirit of gentleness. I cannot help thinking of this attribute, apart from the tenderness, of a mother towards her child.

Although my mother cared for me as a child, it was another time I remembered.

I was a young mother and had suffered from severe back pain, since I was 15.  The doctors I went to could not conclusively diagnose the problem, until 3 years ago. I went to a Neurosurgeon and ultimately had fusion surgery.


During those earlier years, I had seen various specialists and the conclusion was either… there is nothing wrong …to… there is nothing we can do for you surgically.

I had 3 myelograms, on separate occasions. It is a test, in which they withdraw spinal fluid and replace it with dye to detect abnormalities. One of the side effects was terrible headaches. Mine lasted for a week, in which the pain was so bad; I could not even lift my head from the pillow. I was bedridden the whole time.  Anytime I lifted my head, it exacerbated the pain. It had to do with them messing around with the spinal fluid.

My mother cared for me for all three times.  I remember the last one, as it was the worst. What is still vivid to me, was her coming to my bedside, with cool washcloths, trying to lessen the pain.  Even though I was an adult, in my late 20’s, I relished the care of my mom. Her very presence relieved some of my pain and anxiety. The role she chose was to be gentle and attend to me.

I thought about another mother. It was this photo, which appeared in Life magazine, years ago. It’s a black and white picture, which is at once haunting and also depicting a deep love of a mother towards her child. She is bathing her daughter in a bathing chamber in Japan.

When I first saw this, I was face to face with a depiction of a mother’s sacrificial and undying love toward her child.

Her daughter, Tomoko, was afflicted with Minamata disease. She became severely deformed, as a result of toxic methyl mercury that was dumped into the sea by a Company in Japan. It affected sea creatures and then in turn, humans. People were left deformed, blind, paralyzed, insane and even at times, they died.

How this depiction of attentiveness, mirrors the Lord’s love for us!

We are afflicted with deformity and darkness of spirit. We are blind and dead in our sins. We are, in essence, poisoned and tainted by the sin in the Garden. However, like this mother, the Lord does not discard us. He is our parent and we are his child. He will tenderly care for us because we are part of Him and belong to Him. He is not put off by our utter need for Him.

This family agreed to this photo being used to make the disease of Minamata something that was not ignored or hidden away. They hoped that it would place an awareness of the cause and consequences of this horrible malady.

In the Word of God … through nature… through other’s testimonies…through love shown to one another…through miracles…He makes know His love for all to see. Death and destruction against a commitment on His part, to care for His children, cannot stand.  Even in the sickness of sin…especially in the darkness and death of sin...He is by our side.

Just as my mom “showing up”, may it be so, that when the Lord shows up on the scene, that people would experience a relief, simply because He is present.

And just like Tomoko’s mother, let others see that He is there, not when they are whole. Let them see, their utter need to be attended by such gentleness and care, when they need Him the most.

Linda Maynard

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Forever a Child by Jenna Vick Silliman


If heaven was giving out awards, I think I would be in the running for winning the award for “Biggest Kid”. After all, I’m five feet eight inches tall—that is a pretty big kid! Some of my best friends are children. I don’t have very many peers that like to goof off as much as I do—they are probably embarrassed to be seen with me! I like to load up my car with kids and go to the beach, go swim at the pool, go folk dancing, or go to the park. I turn the radio up nice and loud and sing at the top of my vocal capacity. I don’t wanna get a speeding ticket, but I really like to drive fast. What I do is “hug the turns” whenever possible and as fast as possible. It is so fun to make the kids squeal! As a result of hanging out with kids a lot, I get invited to their birthday parties. My favorite one so far was Angelina’s princess party. I am pictured here, dressed as a princess, surrounded by my little friends. I told you I was the biggest kid!
One way I am childlike is that I like to have fun. If you ask me what one of my goals is, I will probably say, “To have fun!” To be funloving is a character quality I admire and hope to develop more and more. I like to goof off with kids because they really know how to have fun. When they go to the beach or the park, kids don’t think about their list of things to do or how much money they have in the bank or about their next appointment—they just have fun. My youngest child, Peter, and his friend, Michel and I went shopping one day and I was having a good time with them skipping in the parking lot, telling jokes, and looking at stuff to buy. Michel paid me a high compliment that day. He said, “You know Jenna, you are more like a kid than a mom!” I said, “THANK YOU VERY MUCH!”
I like to make people laugh. Laughing is SO fun and it is contagious too. One of my favorite scenes from a Disney movie is the one in Mary Poppins where they all start singing “I love to laugh—hahaha!” and they all float up to the ceiling. Wouldn’t that be fun?! Children laugh on an average of 400 times per day! Adults laugh like about 15 times a day. Whew--what a difference! I think I’d rather be a kid, wouldn’t you? If you listen carefully, children call adults “dolts”. So that’s what I’ve started calling them too. Hahaha! I’d rather be a kid than a dolt!
Another way I’m like a kid, is I love to sing silly songs. It is common for me to break out in song and the silly ones are my favorites. (With a last name of Silliman, I can’t be too serious, now can I?) For some examples, you might know this song: “I know an old lady who swallowed a fly…I don’t know why she swallowed a fly; I guess she’ll die!” Do you know this one? “I had a little sister; her name was sister Sue, we put her in the bathtub to see what she would do. She drank up all the water, she ate a bar of soap, she tried to eat the bathtub, but it wouldn’t fit down her throat!” Here’s another favorite: “If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops, oh what a rain it would be! I’d stand outside with my mouth open wide, singin’ ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah!”
Don’t you love the way children are full of wonder and amazement at the world? They chase butterflies, blow dandelion seeds and watch them float on the air, and they love to run and jump and dance around. I love to go swimming with kids and play games in the water. That’s a blast. I like the way kids will get enthusiastic about things too. Why do we have to be so dang reserved all the time? To be childlike is to be more trusting and loving and spontaneous and honest. I teach a children’s dance class and my students never cease to amaze me at how loving they are. They run over and hug me and tell me they love me. They skip and frolic around with carefree abandon. I want to be more like that. Yesterday one little girl told me, “I like your colorful blouse, but I don’t think it matches your twirly skirt very well.” Hahaha! That made me laugh! Kids are so honest. They tell you when they like something and when they don’t.
When I was a girl I was often scolded for daydreaming. My hands would slow down at the task at hand—such as washing dishes, folding laundry, or doing a math assignment. Instead I would stare off into the distance, lost in my dream world. I wrote creative stories about make believe lands and enjoyed reading and daydreaming about what it would be like to be one of the characters in the book. Even now, at age 54, I like to dream. You’d think I would have grown out of it by now, wouldn’t you? No, I like to dream about all the possibilities in life, such as where I’d like to travel and what I’d like to do. The Bible says, “Nothing is impossible with God.” We have an unlimited God and so we need not limit ourselves or our lives either.
As long as I am faithful and responsible and dependable and all those grown-up things, I don’t see anything wrong with being like a kid. In fact, the Lord Jesus said, “Be as a little child to enter My kingdom.” Now I have a new dream. I can picture the Lord saying, “Here’s your award, Princess Jenna.” Jesus walks towards me in a trailing purple robe and in His hands is a golden crown all sparkling with diamonds and jewels of different colors and He places it upon my head and says, “Good job on being childlike! Well done—you have entered into My joy everlasting!”

Thursday, March 22, 2012

OK…What’s Barbra Streisand, a set of Rosary Beads, A Friend and the Lord Got to Do with It?




We each, this week, are sharing a time that we were at the brink of darkness and what brought us back.
When I thought of my testimony, I thought of one of my memories of my mom, when she was in a Nursing Home. The Recreation Director shared with me how much she enjoyed my mother. It seems my mom went to the Catholic Mass, the Jewish service and the Protestant service as well. She told Sister Zena that she wanted to “cover all the bases.”
I could see how the mosaic of faith expressions that my mother had, mirrored by own experiences with various belief systems, years later.
Ahhhh…the 60’s. Flower children…peace signs…peace rallies. That didn’t describe me. Rather, I was a scared, unwed 17 year old pregnant girl.
Denial…pretending…hoping…didn’t change the facts. I was with child.
Scared…ashamed…hiding.
I had tried unsuccessfully to miscarry my child in gym class. I thought the pummel horse would do it.
No, he hung on for dear life.
The celebration of Christmas Season came.
The seductive spirit of suicide whispered to me. “It’ll be easy…no more pain…you won’t have to face anyone…you slut. You who everyone thinks is a goody two shoes!”
As I formulated a plan, another voice spoke. “Do you realize that if you go through with your plan, you will not only kill yourself but you will kill the baby that you carry?”
It was as if I was smacked in the face with reality.
As much as self hatred vied for position, compassion won the match. I could not kill my child.
Pretending became an art. Trying to become invisible, as I grew in size…impossible!
Day of reckoning came. Good girl image annihilated. Shame and relief on the same day.
Hiding became an art. My bedroom became my oasis…just  me and my baby. He was all I had.
Mononucleosis…brilliant! That will be the story line. No friends to bother me…shhh…secrets…guilt…shame…swirled around me..
A friend, Loretta barges in, ignoring my request to be alone. I’m at once happy and then angry at her.. A gift… rosary beads? What for?...Sparkling and beautiful they were…hope ascends…God, do You still remember me?... Oh no…remembering now, You are an angry and punishing God…aren’t You?
A hot sweltering day in June…my sister, a nurse verified I was in labor. She was a Godsend; as I was off the charts with fear…Compassionate doctor…will never forget him.
Panic sets in…why are my parents here in this dark room?…why are they smiling?...I touch my belly…noooooooo…where is my baby?...they are still smiling…Bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh…GONE!
Following the path of “the right thing to do”, I sign the papers…@ 17…how could I truly understand the legalities. Another mother will have him…the cost for my sin? …It’s too hard to think straight.
Babies crying…dreaming of babies needing me…scornful voices in my head saying that I deserved this fate…”see what happens to a ”so called” good girl”
“Go on” they say…”Put it behind you”…”Think of a future”…folks who meant well.  Did they know that was impossible?...I could barely put one foot in front of another.
Losing my son was a death without a public acknowledgement or a funeral.
Christmas arrives again…nothing about the season is welcomed by me. The babies are still crying and they are reaching out to me. Grief and sorrow consume me…it’s tentacles wrapping tightly round me. I again, was convinced that suicide was reasonable
Out of the blue, Barbra Streisand shows up. Not in person…but in the spirit of the season. So unclear to me still…where did her Christmas Album come from?...a coincidence?…hardly. God knew that music would bypass my pain and deliver me from temptation…so over and over like a hungry bird, I listened to her songs…was it the words?…was it her voice?..No matter…a glimmer…a sliver of Light poked into my darkness with authority and force and infused me with strength to go on.

So my Protestant friend...a Catholic Rosary...a Jewish performer and the Lord
Helped me to...
I CHOSE LIFE!
for Him and for Me

Linda Maynard