Monday, July 12, 2010
Stuff Christian Don't Like to Talk About - Yes, That!
This week the topic is sex and faith - thanks Tracy - I haven't been this uncomfortable around church folks for a long time!
I have heard a little teaching about sex in the church. Wait 'til you're married, and don't have it with yourself. Now that I have passed that one - I think I am done.
All kidding aside, there has been little good teaching in the church regarding sex. It more often falls on the list of don'ts unless you are married. Occasionally someone will give a few reasons why not, and the purpose of reproduction is clouded by "the enjoyment of sex, and "it's my body" and other Hollywood type pressure - as if they've got it all together!
Look, sex is great and it feels good - and it gets all mixed up with love, and feelings and stuff like that. As Christians we do not rely on feelings to know how to act. I never really understood that like I do now. Feelings aren't facts. In truth, abstinence protects us from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Even if those weren't consequences, it still would be against the "rules" unless you are married - but how to we connect with God, and enjoy something which is so obviously abused.
The truth is that sex, is, and should be part of the marriage experience. It is designed to be one facet of marital intimacy - the other two emotional and spiritual. And truthfully, it doesn't fit well in other places.
I was on vacation last week, and there was a 6-year-old flipping out at pool-side. My older girls both said they were never having kids after witnessing the event. I was thinking the same thing, but it's too late for that. So I wished children on them to the extent at which they have cost me discomfort as a parent. Somehow, the world seems to leave sex disconnected from reproduction. It appears to be one place we get into trouble.
The good marriage, is like a good church. You feel safe in being vulnerable, and transparent.
There are all sorts of issues with sex outside of marriage that are damaging to both parties. These are covered in Galatians 5, in the 10 commandments, and may other places in the Bible.
For me, I am very glad that I am married and don't have to manage my desires.
How about you, is the Bible realistic about sex, and how do you manage?